"A New Tomorrow" - Insight Blue Productions

InsightBlue

InsightBlue

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Hi.

This is the comment thread for "A New Tomorrow." It's an "in depth" look at "how" the emerging "technology" known as "Nanites" affects us "all."

Or is it? Tell me, friend, what do you think? Thank you in advance! (Unless of course you didn't reply, in which case you're a bad person and I hope you feel guilt and shame and have very expensive therapy bills for years to come.)
 
I really liked the concept of this film. Very interesting story idea. The acting was a bit off, and the lighting seemed too dark sometimes (maybe it was the compression). Overall, I'd say the best performance was the skinny dude. The one other thing I didn't get was the ending. Was his girlfriend dead? What happened?
 
briceman said:
I really liked the concept of this film. Very interesting story idea. The acting was a bit off, and the lighting seemed too dark sometimes (maybe it was the compression). Overall, I'd say the best performance was the skinny dude. The one other thing I didn't get was the ending. Was his girlfriend dead? What happened?
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The darkness had more to do with me being extremely tired at 5am (I had a wedding to get to...) and not paying attention to the gamma settings. On set light was just dandy.

The skinny dude playing "Tom" was a gentleman by the name of Mike Tomasulo and I'm sure he greatly appreciates the acting compliment! Actors and their fragile egos...

She was dead but, through the nanites, re-imagined, re-shaped, re-built (whatever you'd like to call it). I realize it wasn't very obvious, but all the signs are there. Or, y'know, I imagine they're there.

Thanks for the comments!
 
i though that it was welle shot and i thought it was funny (in a good way) i didn't like the secretary. could you tell us how you got some of those doors opening and closing?

i really liked the concept and the way you followed through in terms of story (except the ending which was lacking)

good job..!
 
Hey there, I wrote the first draft of this script and did some of the acting, too. I'll let Jim field the questions, as it's his baby, but just thought I'd say I appreciate the kind words and the criticism. I look forward to being able to see everyone else's flick now that I'm home from work and have a decent connection.
 
JimtheJib said:
i though that it was welle shot and i thought it was funny (in a good way) i didn't like the secretary. could you tell us how you got some of those doors opening and closing?

i really liked the concept and the way you followed through in terms of story (except the ending which was lacking)

good job..!
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First, thanks for watching and the kind comments! I especially appreciate the comment about it being funny (in a good way) more than anything. Not sure why... Maybe because it was my main contribution to the script...

Unlike Briceman and his comment, I will not pass on the acting comment to Ms. Baas who potrayed the secretary, "Beth." She will take her anger out on me and I'm so very fragile (she's a hitter). Instead, let me ask: What, specifically, didn't you like about her?

The door thing was fairly simple in that I had someone out of frame maniupulating the door. You'll notice that our framing is of the 2.35 variety, meaning we had a wee bit less on screen. If you look closely at one of the conference room shots, you'll see some legs hidden behind the table. That was our "door-closer," Tony. For the opening we had another actor (not in frame) quickly open the door as "Tom" was knocking. Easy stuff. We are but novices.

And finally -- The ending was meant to be somewhat ambiguous and subtle. It's not necessarily a shock or surprise. It's more about the choice and how, with a technology that allows for just about any fantasy to become reality, all he really wanted was this person back in his life. Steve (ZB Brox) can fill that in a bit more.
 
If Jim's gonna hand that off to me, I'll say a little.

We hoped the dialogue throughout would give the impression that Tom, the lead, had lost someone he loved. The relationship isn't precisely the point, though we had "wife" in the script. If we got that across, that's step one. If not, I'll claim the responsibility. And thanks for letting me know. ;)

At the end, as Jim said, we find out that he wanted his wife back so badly that he made it happen. We left it simple because we didn't want to get into whether she's "real" or not. That's not really the point. What we want is to leave the audience thinking this: Science is becoming more and more powerful, and more and more invasive, every day. Eventually, it will reach this point, the point where there is no need that isn't automatically fulfilled, no wish that isn't immediately granted. What speaks to both the wonder and the horror of that better than the power to resurrect the dead?

If you want to view it as a monkey's paw, resurrecting soulless automatons, great. If you want to view it as the final, greatest achievement of mankind, equally great. The characters can't make up their minds, either. ;)

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm generally a prose writer, and I doubt I conveyed any of that half so well on screen, but I hope it's of interest here.
 
After all that exposition I needed a bit more closure. But I still liked it. Great concept. And I for one liked the secretary's voice. :)
 
MojoTrancer said:
After all that exposition I needed a bit more closure. But I still liked it. Great concept. And I for one liked the secretary's voice. :)
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Well, to that I say... um... your mind has been poisoned by Hollywood? Liberals? I guess? Maybe?

I need more closure too. I swear. We went back and forth on that. I think a draft had something slightly resembling closure, but we went for the "subtle" route. (I'll just start puting quotes around everything.)

I'll just call it an artistic decision and say that it's not meant for whomever doesn't understand! They love it in France.

Thanks for the comments. :) I'll pass the voice thing onto the "secretary!"
 
Opening shot was brilliant through the fish tank loved it. I'd have prefered some locked down camera vs. the constantly moving hand held thing, but I got used to it. Also loved the choice of CC that was used ... worked well, I felt.

The acting by all, for the most part, was pretty solid. The lead probably being the best, the boss probably bringing up the bottom. The secretary at first had me cringe with the first line or two (not sure why, just my initial response), but then I LOVED the oddity of her voice ... had a lot of character to it, and she did her role well.

There was a spot or two that seemed a little forced/expository, the one that pops to mind is right after the lead opens the door & the guy & girl are talking in the hall ... I'm thinking, move it along people. I could be wrong, but I'm not sure I heard anything too "new" in that conversation, other than it appeared now that even those two were going to hook up, and now ony our lead character was left alone in a world where everyone else "had someone".

The ending was ambigious, but I kind of dug it ... though I also wondered if she was alive or not.

Didn't really get the SFX near the beginning when they were being called into the office, but that's nit-picking now. Did well on my score card.
 
I liked your lead actor - a lot. He has a really interesting face, although he's a bit immature. (you don't have to tell him that last part). This film was fairly well-written, and it's good to see you put so much attention into telling a story with characters, a plot, and all that good stuff.
Problem is, it's not cinematic. Reminds me of my own stuff a lot of the time, actually. You have to tell the story with pictures, not words. Things like framing and editing, the lifeblood of the filmic art, are sort of throwaways here. What does the editing contribute to pacing? Style? Most of the shots are utilitarian 2 or 3-shots. There's nothing to help suggest, this is a FILM. Could just as well be a play with music.
Anyway, with the way you write, I doubt you'll have any trouble continuing to make interesting and challenging work. Best of luck, and keep shooting.
 
I liked this short very much.

First, having read some of the comments above, I've got to say that I really liked the secretary's acting. Flat out believable and added to the whole feel - not "acting" - "being" (if you catch my drift). I thought her voice was perfect - maybe she'd been crying for the last day or two. Anyway, hat's off to her. Nice choice in casting (the ony point where I paused was in relation to her "giggle" during the hallway conversation with Danny, but perhaps that's looking a little too hard).

Tom was good, too. Very believeable.

Danny was a dickhead - but then again he was supposed to be. I know guys like that in offices I've worked in. There's always one. Nice job.

I wasn't as convinced by the "boss", Zoe, but that is not intended as criticism. I would have gone with an older actor, but that's a personal choice.

I had a bit of an issue on the sound as they headed for the conference room. I lost some of the dialogue as they moved away.

The opening fish tank shot was good, but I would have really liked to have lit the tropical fish so they "popped" with colour more than they did. Almost seemed like a lost opportunity there.

Finally, I liked the story a lot. Premise was great. Some good dialogue. Some aspects didn't ring true (such as Zoe opening the office door to the conversation between the secretary and Danny but just standing there to permit them to finish their conversation. I just don't see that happening in reality - she needed a reason to stand there, having opened the door and I just didn't see it), but the story was very interesting to me.

Thanks for your efforts on this. I look forward to your next one.
 
Dahopafilms said:
Danny was a dickhead - but then again he was supposed to be. I know guys like that in offices I've worked in. There's always one. Nice job.
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It's always easier when you play true-to-life ;)

Seriously, on behalf of the actors, thanks a lot for the kind words.
 
Dahopafilms said:
I liked this short very much.
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You, sir, have my gratitude!

Nice choice in casting (the ony point where I paused was in relation to her "giggle" during the hallway conversation with Danny, but perhaps that's looking a little too hard).
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Way too hard. Stop looking right before that point and then start looking again immediately after.

Danny was a dickhead - but then again he was supposed to be. I know guys like that in offices I've worked in. There's always one. Nice job.
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Steve (the actor who played "Danny") gets that a lot in person. I'm not sure what that says about him...

I had a bit of an issue on the sound as they headed for the conference room. I lost some of the dialogue as they moved away.
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That's fair and accurate. I unfortunately didn't have any good/usable audio for that portion and we ran out of time for dialogue replacement. As strange as it may sound, that bit right there is my biggest regret.

(Also, I lack style -- but hey, this is the first thing we've all done, so I expect we'll improve. Er, I hope we'll improve. You hear that penfever? We'll make ya proud.)

I found out about the typo the next day. It was too late to resubmit (or so I thought) at that point. C'est la vie!

Thank you for the other comments and critiques. Know that all of this goes into bettering our next film. Despite the demeanor, I take none of the comments lightly and appreciate everything everyone has said (good and bad).

-Jim
 
Hi, I'm Beth. Er, Ali. ANYWAY I feel it my obligation to my fans to sayyyy... It was the worst laryngitis of my life. I drank like 50 cups of tea, and had several different medicines running through me. After filming, I could only squeak. I hope in future you won't fault me for my actual voice, which is much more annoying. T__T

Dahopafilms said:
I liked this short very much.

First, having read some of the comments above, I've got to say that I really liked the secretary's acting. Flat out believable and added to the whole feel - not "acting" - "being" (if you catch my drift). I thought her voice was perfect - maybe she'd been crying for the last day or two. Anyway, hat's off to her. Nice choice in casting (the ony point where I paused was in relation to her "giggle" during the hallway conversation with Danny, but perhaps that's looking a little too hard).
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This really makes me blush. I'm really not that good at acting. I'm just good at pretending to be an actor. The giggle I really wasn't feeling, especially since I had to pause and giggle again. Woe.

InsightBlue said:
Unlike Briceman and his comment, I will not pass on the acting comment to Ms. Baas who potrayed the secretary, "Beth." She will take her anger out on me and I'm so very fragile (she's a hitter).
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Thanks for sheltering me. I realize that I'm irrational and can't accept constructive criticism. If you ever call me "Ms. Baas" again, I really will hit you. Cheers. :kiss:

Soon we'll have the whole cast in our thread. Yeeha.
 
I liked your piece a lot. I had no problems with Beth's acting, but it did distract me a little bit because I kept thinking about how she's obviously loosing her voice. Was it the nanos that did this to her? j/k. Kudos to all your actors by the way. They did very well.

I have to disagree with the people who say the ending is lacking. I really like the subtlety, but I tend to be the type of moviegoer who likes a story left up to me to ponder rather than being forcefed an all-together, overly wrapped up ending. Great job!
 
First off I thought the camera work and lighting were very good. From a story standpoint, and I hope you take this in a good way, it was like the "Clerks" of sci-fi concept. Very wordy... lots of dialogue to pay attention to. That's not at all a bad thing, and I didn't find myself bored because of it... and ya know dude, there's a lot to be said for that. It's not easy to have so much dialogue and keep it from getting tiresome, especially when it all takes place in one setting.

I guess I'm a little out of the loop on Nanites, so I kept wondering what the "news" was. Your story did get me to assume that Tom had suffered a loss, and somehow the news and that loss were going to impact each other in some way... but it wasn't completely clear... the overall concept got a little TOO abstract for me at times.

What I had guessed Tom was going through and where it would go did come to fruition at the end, and I have to say I loved the shot from over his dead wife's shoulder... the fact you could see him through her glasses was great.

Acting was good... I think Tom was the best of the bunch... I found the guy with the glasses a little annoying, but I assume he was supposed to be ;)

The music was good... it was subtle and appropriate for the story... and your sound was good overall.

Overall it was a good job... the six minutes didn't at all drag and that's a good testiment to what you were trying to accomplish... especially with so much dialogue.
 
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I thought the concept was really neat. You did a really good job. The one thing that I got held up on was the secretary actress. Her voice kept bothering me. But that's a small thing to say- your film was really cool.
 
angrynerdrock07: Thanks for the kind words. You hit it right on the nose with your comment on the ending. It is food for thought (sci-fi should make you think!) and I'm glad you enjoyed that. With Beth's voice, well... nanites work in mysterious ways! :)

EditPhish: Again, thank you for the kind words and the great review! Believe me when I say (and I'm sure I speak for Steve on this too) calling it the "Clerks" of sci-fi is an amazing compliment. We both love us some Kevin Smith (I give Steve most of the credit for the dialogue). I'm happy to hear it kept you locked in. If we can't keep you somewhat entertained for at least six minutes, then I guarantee you'll never see another video from us.

As for the news on the nanites, there was a lot more on that in the original scripted opening, but due to the length, we cut it hoping that people would pick up on the basics through the other dialogue (seems to have worked). Thanks for the compliment on the final shot, the music, the acting and the sound! Remind me to send you a gift basket. Or cash. Whichever you prefer.

Jimmy John Worley: First, awesome name. Second, thank you for the compliments! Third, it seems like people are going back and forth on her voice -- but, hey, keeps it interesting. She had a bad case of laryngitis that day! If only nanites DID exist to help her.

I'm really digging the feedback! Thanks again!


-Jim
 
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