"MODEL / PHOTOGRAPHER" - an ELOQUENT GRAFFITI prelude – a film by SABI

Not much being said in this piece. The actors do all the talking but not with their voices. They allow us to watch a heartfelt moment in time as voyeurs. Most of us have come across a moment or two like this in our lives and that allows us to connect.

Very well acted. Love the framing/cinematography as well.

My only critique would be that technically this film might be a little weaker than most of the top runners in this Fest. Some focus issues here and there. Some of the darker scenes also seem to lose some detail. I'm assuming that's from shooting with very little light.

Zak, really nice work overall. I know this is just a piece of the puzzle and I can't wait to see the whole thing. Good luck in the Fest.

MAH
 
i;ll be echoing everyone with how strong i felt this. very well acted...no words need to be said...the looks, the emotions come out so strong. I like the natural lighting also ..thats pretty cool man. I have a question though...as an aspiring director/cinematographer...(well this is more directors question)..how do u coach ur actors to deliver such a strong piece. I mean i think it must be a task to get across those feelings and emotions to ur actors and actually have them perform it so well. WITH NO WORDS :)

negitive-- some focusing issues.

If u have time can u expand a little. btw this was the first film i watched...so onto the rest :D
 
Well done, sir. I think the performances really sold it, and it's a great teaser into the world of Eloquent Graffiti.

My main critique is that the equipment didn't really live up to the quality of the story and acting (and that great sparse score). Here's hoping that you will go back to the HV20-SGPro combo for the feature. Or maybe there will be a better DSLR option by the time you shoot. I totally appreciate that you can shoot in existing light and without much of a crew with the D90, but I just feel like the overall production quality would get such a great boost by stepping the camera up.

Anyhow, good luck to you and please keep casting John in everything - he is fascinating to watch.
 
Wow. What can I say. Simply, wow. I am truly a fan of your filmmaking and your storytelling.

I thought this was incredibly powerful. Your actors were amazing. That last shot of the photographer in the car was awesome. The music was haunting. The style of it all was wonderful and it definitely felt like a Raymond Carver story brought to life.

I loved everything about it.

It makes me want to sell my D50 and run out and get the D90. :)
 
I really enjoy when stories can be told very simplistically, yet still carry a lot of depth. In that regard, I thought this film was highly successful.

The comment about his jacket at the beginning clued me in immediately to the history that they had and that set the stage nicely for me without having to "Tell" me.

I don't know if this was directorial or just actor inspired, but when he kissed her... The way she "broke" from the kiss was just... solid.... Lot of information in very subtle movements. How she just kind of slightly moved to the side, but kept an embrace with him, showed so much about how she still cared deeply for him as a person (to me) but that they were not on the same path in terms of their feelings... not quite. And, without seeing his face during that moment, I could just know exactly how he was feeling.

Then, him driving home. Beautiful.

As far as a human piece, this was super solid, and touched me with how simplistically it was told on the surface, yet how much depth came through.

Honestly. No fluff here. I really felt I had a strong understanding of their relationship and was able to create their history very clearly in my mind, which made the moments they shared that much more impacting on an emotional level.

Technically, while I enjoy the "rawness", if you will, of your style of shooting, this was one film that I thought maintaining crisp, clean focus throughout would have really matched better aesthetically. In IFHY, the out of focus "rawness" of it didn't bother me at all really. In this film, it felt out of place.

Thanks for sharing, Zak.

I love character stories, especially ones that can give me so much information about the character relationships without saying a word to me.

Later,
Jason
 
I Have drank the Flavor-Aid and it is Good....

Excellent work Zak... I love the brevity of film. Great choices across the board.
 
Jason Ramsey said:
I don't know if this was directorial or just actor inspired, but when he kissed her... The way she "broke" from the kiss was just... solid.... Lot of information in very subtle movements. How she just kind of slightly moved to the side, but kept an embrace with him, showed so much about how she still cared deeply for him as a person (to me) but that they were not on the same path in terms of their feelings... not quite. And, without seeing his face during that moment, I could just know exactly how he was feeling.
Click to expand...

Yow Jason...exactly what i'm thinking..but a bit more. In my mind...on the onset of the kiss she gets caught up in it for a quick bit, kinda like reminising on the past (very quickly) then she catches herself...and when she holds him i think what ur thiking. But then theres this other part when she pushes him away like "okay thats it . we need to just get it 2gther and move on now". Kinda like cold hearted...but not. MAN that was good stuff

So thats why i'm asking how the heck do u transmit what u want the actors to do for u and get 'em to deliver that.
Good stuff
 
Zak,

I enjoyed this film, and did feel the emotions coming through without any dialog. I felt that technically the film suffered, I wanted to see the eyes of the actors more. That would have made it even more impactful I think.

In short, it was a good snippet of human drama, well done.
 
Jason Ramsey said:
I don't know if this was directorial or just actor inspired, but when he kissed her... The way she "broke" from the kiss was just... solid.... Lot of information in very subtle movements. How she just kind of slightly moved to the side, but kept an embrace with him, showed so much about how she still cared deeply for him as a person (to me) but that they were not on the same path in terms of their feelings... not quite. And, without seeing his face during that moment, I could just know exactly how he was feeling.
Click to expand...

thanks jason. it was a bit of both. mary elise is an amazing talent and went with me for take after take refining that moment to get exactly what you see here. i'm very proud of what she accomplished.
 
I enjoyed the acting as well, but there were some technical issues - I'd have to agree with that. What I do like is that it is able to hold its own as a short, but also be a snippet of your feature. Focus was an issue a couple of times, but there were shots that would have been very difficult to get if you weren't using a DSLR. It was also a little hard to make out what they were saying clearly - had to go back and listen again.

Nicely done in portraying their emotions.

Kegan
 
Zak Forsman said:
I personally do not like how films look when they are deliberately "lit". it's so rare when it doesn't look artificial to me. so I choose locations based on how the light naturally falls there and at what time of day it's like that.

thanks man.
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I agree with you to a degree. Certain types of genres of play to being "lit". Like the Matrix, or any other Hyper-reality type picture. Horror movies, I mean come on, the plots and characters are over the top, so why shouldn't the lighting be.

My philosophy in lighting is Motivation first...( i.e. a window, a street lamp, a practical ), and then lets cheat a little...( i.e. extend the throw of a natural occurring source, a little back light to edge the actor of a background.

Although, I do take a little page out of the Robert Richardson book with heavy back light and source-y accent lights.

I do understand where coming from as far as personal taste.

E.

"It's difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon him not understanding it" - Upton Sinclair
 
Zak. It's like you peeked into my life a many years ago. I have been through that and it was not as pretty as the images you created.:) I totally feel the story here and the music was fantastic.

The roof top shots were lit perfectly for the story and the street below just kept my attention almost too much. It just looked amazing down there.

If you aint over 21 you may not appreciate this one.:beer:

Great effing job.
 
This one really stood out for me. Not overly ambitious, just a subtle, truly beautifully executed story. Most impressive!

Where can I see more of your work?

Thanks!
 
jambredz said:
So thats why i'm asking how the heck do u transmit what u want the actors to do for u and get 'em to deliver that.
Good stuff
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in an earlier post, i had written about how this was the first time it really clicked for me as a director of actors. i didn't feel at a loss for how to get around beats that weren't quite working.

and i think what you may be responding to is the inherent spontaneity in the performances. they feel unrehearsed and like they are unfolding for the first time right there on camera. that is a combination of things. from me, we did not rehearse these scenes. and this was actually the first time john and mary elise had met. i had written maybe six lines of dialogue, half of which got cut out at the door. mostly, I wrote out my direction for them the night before so I could think it out beforehand. looking at those I can recall what direction I gave the actors at the door scene...

JOHN - it's been a month and a half. show her you're "fine" by really working that familiarity you two had back then as a means to show her you two belong together.

MARY ELISE - be gentle with him. try to repair the damage you did to him by nurturing a friendship. acknowledging that you want to send him the jacket is how you show him that you know you treated him badly and that you want to make amends.
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outside, for the photo shoot, i gave them the following direction....

JOHN - talk to her the way a couple talks to each other. be free with references to her sexuality as you give an adjustment for her poses. tell her you're not feeling it. you want an expression in her face that makes you want to f*ck her. so direct her to flirt with the camera. speaking freely with her will show her "it's just like old times" because you CAN talk to her in a way others can't. When you see that spark in her eye, that she may be getting turned on, act on it! if it doesn't go your way, get anything off your chest you need to, then quickly suck it up. you don't want to look like a mopey douchebag in front of her.

MARY ELISE - your poses are kind of uninspired at first, lack an authenticity. so, listen to his direction and show him you've still got it in you. flirt with the camera. flirt heavily as he gets closer. when he tries to kiss you, you'll be shocked, but don't turn cold. instead, show him you've got deep sympathy for him by putting a hand on his face. you need to show him you are sorry you hurt him but make him understand that there will be no romance between you two.
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as we worked it, this evolved. John's direction dialogue for her modeling wasn't working so we followed the original intention of him being able to engage her in an intimate way and adjusted the scene to a whisper of the adjustment instead. for the kiss, mary elise gave everything and she was exhausted by the end of the shoot. for her, she was tapping into emotions we all share take after take until she found just the right balance of very complex emotions.

so again, how did we achieve this level of performance? i'm a very trusting director. and you'd probably be surprised at how little "direction" i give. I know that the more I try to force a performance to match what was on the page or in my head, the less authentic it is going to feel. this is why i rarely rehearse. in my past work, rehearsal has locked the actors into a performance, they stop listening to each other and are thinking about the beats of the scene rather than what was actually happening in the moment. i ran into this problem on HEART OF NOW with scenes that I experimented with rehearsals on. those scenes were cut because they felt... scripted. i didn't buy it the way i did the first time it happened during that initial rehearsal.

so in a word, "trust" is key. trust the actor's instincts. give them playable actions, not emotions to chase after. on a technical level, I would remind them to maintain eye-contact and to be as economical with their words as possible. and that's it. i don't try to mold the actor into being or feeling something they are not. together, we mold the character to suit the actor.
 
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oh how i adore quiet pictures. zak, you're pretty much totally tits. the grounded nature of your approach is lovely. i look forward to learning more about these characters.

and on a side note, the actual idea of posing for pictures is hilarious. and the film also reminds me of how much i adore the lighting in the city. *smiley face*
 
looked really beautiful and i love what you tried to do with this short. it's a little difficult for such a short running time but it still works. one of my favs so far.
 
Zak. I liked it.





I loved your pacing and how you told a poignant story with almost no dialogue. This is my personal favorite of the things I've seen from you. You kept me engaged to the end.:thumbup::thumbup:
 
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