"An Enchanting Twist Of Peccadilloes" - A ZazaCast Film

Ben: PEOPLE DONT TALK LIKE THIS...


Writer's mistake ...

People used to talk like that, as seen/heard in the old TZ and Night Gallery episodes. Seems folks remember the B&W, the weird angles and lighting, but not the more eloquent English of the times.

Gone and forgotten, I guess. Lol.




aw
 
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Hi ZaZa,

I want mention one thing about you. You receive criticism from all direction very well and you have a honest and self-confident reaction to it. It is a pleasure to see that and you also give to the audience a possitive feeling that it is welcome to give new comments on your thread in the future. For this, it seems to me that you are a open person, so you probably will learn and have already learned quickly a lot about filmmaking! It is very nice to see that. :)

Susanne
 
Hey Zaza,

I really like the assortment of clips leading up to Rasputin's arrival at the Inn. Nice flow with the edit and I enjoyed the colors (the yellow Inn, the banner, greenery, etc).

I felt the handheld look of the shot of the wind chimes seemed out of place versus the "sticks" look elsewhere.

The levels on some of the female lead's dialogue get a little hot, like when she says "You put one hand on me and I'll take your b*lls off, mister!"

When Rasputin was dying, I liked your choice of camera angle. It added a level of tension to the moment.

Nice job! Can't believe you pulled off two shorts with time to spare!
 
Susanne G. said:
Hi ZaZa,

I want mention one thing about you. You receive criticism from all direction very well and you have a honest and self-confident reaction to it. It is a pleasure to see that and you also give to the audience a possitive feeling that it is welcome to give new comments on your thread in the future. For this, it seems to me that you are a open person, so you probably will learn and have already learned quickly a lot about filmmaking! It is very nice to see that. :)

Susanne
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Awww shucks... thank you SO much Susanne. That is such a nice thing to say. I guess I'm just one of those likable guys!:beer: After raising two daughters, nothing here could ever shock me.

(I get the feeling you're the same type of person)
"May the most that you could wish for be the least that you receive!":)

Best always,
-Za
 
interesting story and done well technically except for some color shifting between cuts. thought the dialog was bit ploddy, especially early on. not predictable tho.
 
Hey Zaza, I like Twisted better. This one had a lot of potential, but the actors (mainly the female lead) were hard for me to watch. I tend to mainly focus on performance and am almost incapable of telling you whether or not a story even makes sense... (I'm only semi-joking...)

The male lead was slightly over the top, but his character was interesting. Almost like some sort of a saint, really. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or not, but that's how it came across.
 
Tom Marshall said:
Hey Zaza, I like Twisted better. This one had a lot of potential, but the actors (mainly the female lead) were hard for me to watch. I tend to mainly focus on performance and am almost incapable of telling you whether or not a story even makes sense... (I'm only semi-joking...)

The male lead was slightly over the top, but his character was interesting. Almost like some sort of a saint, really. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or not, but that's how it came across.
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Hey, thanks Tom... I take all comments in stride. Perhaps Alex should comment on the story? Alex...Oh Alex....
 
TOM
I tend to mainly focus on performance and am almost incapable of telling you whether or not a story even makes sense.

ZAZA
Perhaps Alex should comment on the story? Alex...Oh Alex....

ALEX
The story makes sense. :thumbup:


Speaking of Twilight Zone ... meet Capatin Kirk before he joined the star fleet. Oh, and note the English of the time. Pre-Zombie. Pre Gameboy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrJ7T1cuSRM

And for a real good dose of English as spoken when these episodes were originally broadcast ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WudBfRa0ETw

Maybe note the performances as well. I think Giselle did a splendid job in the context of this film and theme. A little forced. A little staged. Like old TZ episodes.

Brilliant!!


.
 
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I wasn't saying it didn't make sense. I was just saying that my only real focus of anything is on the performances. That's the case with anything I watch, really. :)
 
I liked the film and definitely respect the fact that you had two for the fest. I do think that you could have gotten a better performance out of the lead woman, it just didn't flow as well as it could have. I like when Rasputin popped the ball though HAHA good job !
 
thetvirus513 said:
I liked the film and definitely respect the fact that you had two for the fest. I do think that you could have gotten a better performance out of the lead woman, it just didn't flow as well as it could have. I like when Rasputin popped the ball though HAHA good job !
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Again... thanks for viewing & commenting... this is most helpful information. I feel bad for Giselle because she really nailed the role. I take full responsibility for any problems people are seeing...just bad directing, as I wasn't able to convey the irony of the characters in this one.

Another lesson learned...that's why these reviews are so important to me.
Thanks again!:thumbup:
 
Tom Marshall said:
No, it's not bad directing. Your directing was fine. :)
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I don't know Tom... it's tough shooting & directing at the same time...and ultimately, the final outcome rests squarely on my shoulders. This being only my second film, I think I made leaps & bounds over the first...but it's apparent there's a long road ahead in making a really good short.

Thanks again for the support! YOU the man.:dankk2:
 
I am so baffled why Giselle's performance didn't resonate with viewers. I thought it was spot on, and would not hesitate a second to use her again - any role, any film.

This is a Twilight Zone fest, after all, so I'll just chalk it up to the unexpalinable.

I remain her #1 fan.

aw
 
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Hey, Just realized I haven't given my review here- Might be slightly biased because I worked on it, but here it goes-

LOVED THE LIGHTING! WHO DID THAT? I WANT THAT GUY ON MY NEXT FILM!!!!! :Drogar-Evil(DBG)::Drogar-Evil(DBG):

Seriously though, the lighting that I like the best is when you have the overhead shot of Rasputin knocked out on the floor. The other stuff I lit with the intention that you would grade it down more in post, and now it looks a tad flat as others have said, so I'll have to get more on the same page next time, and work on my lighting. I would still like to see what the results of that would look like to increase the contrast. Maybe after the fest is over?

****** SPOILERS WITHIN********

Alex- When I read the script, my take was that Giselle's character was more refined and devious, especially with her reactions to Rasputin's entrance and his blackmail thing. I felt like it was too angry and over-the-top. Another thing that was in the script, but didn't really come through in the movie was her attitude in the dinner scene. In the script, you wrote, "beads of sweat down her face.." after they switch plates and she starts eating. It makes you think that she has poisoned herself, hence the line, "there's a white dress I'd like to be buried in...". The way she plays it now, she's so confident that it doesn't come across that way, for me at least.

I thought also in the script there was a SloMo shot of the napkin, which is very important to understand how he gets knocked out, it's not from the wine as everyone thinks, and a big shot of the napkin flying or CU, then cut to the kitchen with the reveal of the bottle would've made that clearer.

I think the difficulty with this piece was to get all of the acting beats into 6-minutes, and seeing as it was really your first "dialog driven" movie really, I think you did a great job.

Nice music and the little demon rising at the end.

The ball pop is awesome. Cinema Magic.
Three cheers! :beer::beer::beer:
 
Hey I emjoyed this. Supernatural justice for crimes committed out of greed is a staple of this subgere back to the original Tales From the Crypt Comics. Very cool.

dig the fast upward crane at the top

small tech note: need to ease the audio in and out around the first motorcycle shot, the second time is OK because the only thing that punches in is the engine, this time crickets and everthing punch in - it's a bit jarring

bit more of a reaction from the kids for smashing their ball?

The editing in scene one, particularly at the table is quite nice. The back and forth, when you cut, when you capture their reactions.

The dialogue in the first scene seems to not match the environment. The dialogue is very formal. This dialogue is for James Bond in a 5 star restaurant, not a regular middle class woman in a country cute restaurant. Today, in this setting "A man with manner's waits for an invitation to be seated", is "What the hell do you think you're doing" or "Get the hell away from me".

Now - the dialogue is very well done and consistent. It just does not fit the art direction or casting IMHO.

One thing to consider when telling a far fetched tale that we're supposed to take as fairly real - the more you can ground it in reality the better. Of course you can go really far the opposite way and make the whole thing fantasy and then anything goes, but this kind of "something's not quite right suspense twist tale" usually strives for life likeness which makes the story seem more plausible and more strange - just a thought.

Again very well written dialogue, but does not fit her character or his on the surface, though obviously he could get away with much more, you can take much more license with him.

Might have been cool to have her talk like us and him be all fancy for example.

Waitress too is way to formal. in this kind of place in this day and age she'd just say "oh you're over there now, here you go" as opposed to "will the gentlemen be joining you" which they might say in a place with a dresscode that's very fancy, but not here.

WAIT: I don't understand - is she living in a hotel?, or is this meant to read as her house with a servant? does not look like a house, and you'd have to give us something more to get that she's living in a hotel. Does not play as a stately mansion if that's what you are going for.

I can see more in the 2nd scene that you were going with a kind of Cruella Divel thing with her, a high society lady that would regard a motorcyle dude with disdain. But I think she's too young and her hair would need to be up or more "done" to sell the dialogue. I just don't buy her as old money riding around in a rolls, mostly due to her age, art direction, and young natural hairstyle. She'd need a cigarette holder and a muff to fit her to the dialogue.

I know it's tough. Finding the art direction and locations you'd need for what I think you wanted to do could be very hard. I think you could have done a rewrite and kept the story and it would have been much more authentic - felt more real and engaging. For example, it could have been cool to see this play out in a trailer park with white trash murdering over a $50K insurance policy. Rasputin's appearance would have been interesting in that context too.

While the disparity in what I was seeing and hearing kept me from getting fully engrossed, I nonetheless found the story engaging.

Thanks very much.

:beer:
 
I think Jack just said a lot of what I was thinking but definitely explained it a lot better than I could. Interesting characters, I liked her line at the end about the dress upstairs. The "twins forever" didn't really work for me though, kinda cheesy but a good attempt to avoid the cliche a lot of short films have of leaving the audience hanging after killing the main character with a twist at the very end.
 
Jack Daniel Stanley said:
Hey I emjoyed this. Supernatural justice for crimes committed out of greed is a staple of this subgere back to the original Tales From the Crypt Comics. Very cool.

dig the fast upward crane at the top
Click to expand...

Thanks Jack for watching & commenting...this is really appreciated!

small tech note: need to ease the audio in and out around the first motorcycle shot, the second time is OK because the only thing that punches in is the engine, this time crickets and everthing punch in - it's a bit jarring
Click to expand...

I actually wanted to jar the viewer...here you are the nice country Inn B&B...Boom, in comes the biker, cutting through the crickets...

bit more of a reaction from the kids for smashing their ball?
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Subtle goes a long way. The kids really don't know what to make of this weird guy invading their space.

The editing in scene one, particularly at the table is quite nice. The back and forth, when you cut, when you capture their reactions.

The dialogue in the first scene seems to not match the environment. The dialogue is very formal. This dialogue is for James Bond in a 5 star restaurant, not a regular middle class woman in a country cute restaurant. Today, in this setting "A man with manner's waits for an invitation to be seated", is "What the hell do you think you're doing" or "Get the hell away from me".

Now - the dialogue is very well done and consistent. It just does not fit the art direction or casting IMHO.

One thing to consider when telling a far fetched tale that we're supposed to take as fairly real - the more you can ground it in reality the better. Of course you can go really far the opposite way and make the whole thing fantasy and then anything goes, but this kind of "something's not quite right suspense twist tale" usually strives for life likeness which makes the story seem more plausible and more strange - just a thought.

Again very well written dialogue, but does not fit her character or his on the surface, though obviously he could get away with much more, you can take much more license with him.

Might have been cool to have her talk like us and him be all fancy for example.

Waitress too is way to formal. in this kind of place in this day and age she'd just say "oh you're over there now, here you go" as opposed to "will the gentlemen be joining you" which they might say in a place with a dresscode that's very fancy, but not here.
Click to expand...

This is all great stuff...thanks again. I'll be applying it to my next film!

WAIT: I don't understand - is she living in a hotel?, or is this meant to read as her house with a servant? does not look like a house, and you'd have to give us something more to get that she's living in a hotel. Does not play as a stately mansion if that's what you are going for.
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It's a country B&B (Inn) Stephanie bought with the insurance money she got from her husbands death (murder...we discover).

I can see more in the 2nd scene that you were going with a kind of Cruella Divel thing with her, a high society lady that would regard a motorcyle dude with disdain. But I think she's too young and her hair would need to be up or more "done" to sell the dialogue. I just don't buy her as old money riding around in a rolls, mostly due to her age, art direction, and young natural hairstyle. She'd need a cigarette holder and a muff to fit her to the dialogue.

I know it's tough. Finding the art direction and locations you'd need for what I think you wanted to do could be very hard. I think you could have done a rewrite and kept the story and it would have been much more authentic - felt more real and engaging. For example, it could have been cool to see this play out in a trailer park with white trash murdering over a $50K insurance policy. Rasputin's appearance would have been interesting in that context too.

While the disparity in what I was seeing and hearing kept me from getting fully engrossed, I nonetheless found the story engaging.

Thanks very much.

:beer:
Click to expand...

Again...thank you for the complete review. I consider these comments gold!:dankk2:
 
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