POSSIBLE CHARLIE - One Man's Loss is Another Man's Loss

[Tim Joy]

You succeeded where many others were weak- a real Twilight ending that leaves you thinking.
I was a little confused for a second afterwards, but when I wrapped my brain around it, I came up with "my" answer to what happened and it was really cool and unexpected.

Another place you succeeded was the beginning. You established the story and the "problem" early on. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, because too many of these movies make you wonder what it's about until 5:39... or worse... never.

Call it formulaic if you will, but I think a 6-minute movie has to establish the story within the first minute or so, take you on a journey to find a solution for a few minutes, come to a climax and end with a twist or a bang. (literally in your case) Yours did all of those, and with some nice camerawork in there too.

I liked the dolly move at 2:00 when he walks away to go home the first time. I also like the move when the bum hands him the gun. i thought you could've continued up to see his hesitant reaction instead of cutting, but the intent was there.

There was a little trouble blowing out highlights and shots matching between one another. Some issues looked like the difference between clouds blocking the sun, and then not for other angles. A tough thing to work with anywhere else but 367-days-a-year sunny southern Cali. I would suggest you always have the zebra stripes on and make sure you don't see them, if you already don't use this feature. The other matching problems were just color correction issues, easily fixable.

I liked the character of the bum, but felt that you're guy was a little "clean". Movie bums are always the drunk, extra dirty, you-can-smell-them-through-the-screen, stumbly, nutcases with tans that many are in real life. I think if he had some dirt and some drunkeness it would've sold better, because we should think he's really crazy, that way when the guy comes back to him for advice it has a bigger impact and realization moment. As an idea to add another layer to the story, you could hint that the bum was conspiring with the other Charlie, especially in the moment he passes the gun??? That idea might suck...

The only other criticism I have was that the music could've done a lot more for you. It was nice and simple, but could've played more on the Twilightness and been a bit bigger. Just as an excercise, you might try placing music from The Exorcist or similar over your ending especially, but even the Charlie scenes and see what it does to elevate the tension and mood.

Overall a solid journey, interesting story, some good visuals, and an ending that creeped me out. Good job!

 

[Brian Parker]

I can't figure out who your lead actor reminds me of but as soon as he spoke, I thought of another actor...maybe Michael Madsen...

Anyway, I can see that you really embraced the Twilight theme here and it worked. Great twist at the end.

SPOILERS:
My favorite shot was the closeup of the main character at the end. The DOF and lighting on that one was awesome. I also liked the way the I.D. theft guy walked away at the end, saying his line. Pretty cool.

There is only one thing that bothered me and it really is just a nitpick. I feel almost bad mentioning it but in the interest of giving a well-rounded, honest feedback, here goes. When the homeless guy was listing off everything the main character stood to lose as a result of his identity being stolen, it seemed to go on forever. "You house...your wife...your life...that little credenza you stole from your third year college roommate...everything." That's my only thing. Told you it was a nitpick.

Great work. Enjoyed it.

 

[stinkpot]

Yeehaanow, I can't thank you enough for this review! The extensiveness and constructiveness of your post is greatly helpful to me. You are correct about the variable lighting due to cloud cover, etc. These are thing that I definitely need to work on. I agree that we should have dirtied our homeless guy up quite a bit more

Champloo, we wanted to do a lot more with that ending shot than we had time or lighting for. I'm really glad that you liked it and got the feel off from it. Don't feel bad about critiquing the film... this is the stuff that I want to hear so I know the kind of things to improve upon. It's not a nit pick, I see what you are saying about that shot. We even had to do our dolly push way slower there.

Thanks for the feedback! I am going down the list in order and I look forward to checking out your films as well.

:beer:

 

[pauly_the_hitman]

I thought the story rocked and I got it right away. Good job.
Pauly

 

[RobinFrank]

Tim Robbins, not Michael Madson, Tim Robbins, that's who I remind you of, or, Robin has a step father named Tim, heh! Thanks for all the feedback so far on my performance. I think Sage did an excellent job pulling out good takes on such a tight schedule. Being my own worst enemy I can see the points where I did less than decent and where I could have concentrated more. It was a great learning experience and working with Sage and Peter helps an actor really become more comfortable in scenes. (Except when they have to say "Megan" 25 times. hah! sorry, I'm a ball-buster.)

 

[Mile Bozicevic]

Nice flick, I loved the twilightishness in it.

At the beggining, Charlie tries to leave the homeless guy going on one side, but after more conversation, he leaves on the other side. That kinda confused me, and I guess it could be judged in two ways-
1) he wanted to go to police, then after the conversation he left for home
2) he actually didn't know where he is so he left randomly
3) you didn't think od it

The end also confused me-why the man(second Charlie) suddenly started to look feared when Charlie took out the gun? He stated clearly that there' no more comeback for Charlie, yet he tried to help him at the end, and here I can't find logic. What's the use to him if he helps him? Is he just playing or I misheard something?

Beside that, I think there's not too much to say here. Great story, very good performance, and I like the end.

And of course, I wanted to know more about the homeless person (you could put some tiny things that point to his former existence), and it is a little weird he had a gun. Well, nothing is really weird in Twilight zone i guess...

 

[John LaBonney]

Very clever story. Enjoyed it. Nothing to mention technically that hasn't already been said, but I really did like the bum character. He's visually interesting.

 

[stinkpot]

Pauly, I'm glad you enjoyed our flick! Thanks for checking it out.

Robin, thank you for clearing up the whole "who you sound like" thing.

Mile, number 1 is the correct answer. It played out well in my head but when I went to cut it, it did strike me as kind of odd too. It would flow better to have let him leave the same way but I was too anxious to try out that pivot shot. Oh well. As for the second Charlie, we did not intend for his character to be completely evil and void of compassion. He was just supposed to be a two-bit opportunist... he didn't want anyone to die. Thank you for the extensive feedback. I do appreciate it!

John, thanks for watching! We definitely had fun with that character.

:beer:

 

[Mike Insane]

I have to say i liked the story. I think there are a few audio issues that distracted me but all in all I really enjoyed the film.

 

[stinkpot]

I have to say i liked the story. I think there are a few audio issues that distracted me but all in all I really enjoyed the film.

I have to hand it to our writer (Peter). He really came through.

The audio issues are my biggest gripe as well. Huge lesson learned for me. Thanks for watching our flick.

:beer:

 

[Dick Campbell]

yeah, I thought I didn't get the ending at first, then resolved it. good story well presented.

 

[ilauzirika]

I must say that this is a great film! Loved the story.

 

[leteeci]

Just stopped by, to say that I like your movie very much!!

It is very Twiligh-tish and it have an unexpected twist, so it fits all the parameters of this fest!!!

Photography and acting is very good!!


Congratulations,

:beer::beer::beer:

 

[stinkpot]

yeah, I thought I didn't get the ending at first, then resolved it. good story well presented.

Thanks man. There were a few more things we were going to do with the ending which would have made it a little more clear but we totally ran out of time.

I must say that this is a great film! Loved the story.

Thanks for checking it out!

Just stopped by, to say that I like your movie very much!!

It is very Twiligh-tish and it have an unexpected twist, so it fits all the parameters of this fest!!!

Photography and acting is very good!!


Congratulations,

:beer::beer::beer:

Hey thanks! I'm glad someone likes the photography as well as the story!

:beer:

 

[Horncastle]

A very good little story. There were a few technical flaws as mentioned already, but if these were ironed out and with a stronger score, this could be a solid film. Well done, especially for a first entry.
Jason

 

[Bryce A]

Great concept. It was fun to watch how it played out and wonder what was going behind the scenes. I love the mistaken/stolen man/identity stories…. The concept was a lot to fit into a 6 minute short and you succeeded for the most part. My biggest gripes are the scale of the production. Having basically 2 locations was just not enough for the story. I felt like we spent way too much time with Homeless Bob (Tom Oravec?). I didn’t feel he was nearly as compelling as the story you were telling. If you’d shown more of the situation instead of having everything explained it would have been more enthralling. But of course... How to do it on a shoe sting budget? How to show it without showing up scenes we’ve seen 100 times before? …easier said that done. The ending was right. Fun. Piece.

“We’re way past hurt.” Heh, great line!

 

[stinkpot]

A very good little story. There were a few technical flaws as mentioned already, but if these were ironed out and with a stronger score, this could be a solid film. Well done, especially for a first entry.
Jason

Thanks for the feedback. Technical flaws?!?! You mean, like when I kicked the tripod accidentally during our best take?

Great concept. It was fun to watch how it played out and wonder what was going behind the scenes. I love the mistaken/stolen man/identity stories…. The concept was a lot to fit into a 6 minute short and you succeeded for the most part. My biggest gripes are the scale of the production. Having basically 2 locations was just not enough for the story. I felt like we spent way too much time with Homeless Bob (Tom Oravec?). I didn’t feel he was nearly as compelling as the story you were telling. If you’d shown more of the situation instead of having everything explained it would have been more enthralling. But of course... How to do it on a shoe sting budget? How to show it without showing up scenes we’ve seen 100 times before? …easier said that done. The ending was right. Fun. Piece.

“We’re way past hurt.” Heh, great line!

Solid feedback Bryce A. I appreciate the time you and others have taken to give honest and useful critique. This is greatly useful! Thank you.

:beer:

 

[lawriejaffa]

Yep just to add to the general praise of this film, i enjoyed this one too. Decent acting, story, and production value.

I think a brief montage of our guy and his forgotten identity going about, being unrecognised by folks he approaches might have added to the impression of his dire situation. As the two locations and the 'bum' character was limiting in representing the full scope of your idea - however it does work like this effectively enough!

 

[jojopop]

Great job with this one guys. Actually very reminiscent of an episode of the Lone Gunmen - but that's not a bad thing because I think the two are vastly different in their execution.

Your lead ('charlie') did a fantastic job, I thought. One of my favorite performances... he felt very natural and very right. The homeless guy, on the other hand, I didn't find as captivating. Overall some good performances here.

I think what sells me the most about this piece is the concept, pure and simple. I really like the idea and the ending is really effective. That alone elevates this one pretty high, so thanks to you guys for getting in on this fest and making this one happen. One of my favorites!

 

[stinkpot]

Yep just to add to the general praise of this film, i enjoyed this one too. Decent acting, story, and production value.

I think a brief montage of our guy and his forgotten identity going about, being unrecognised by folks he approaches might have added to the impression of his dire situation. As the two locations and the 'bum' character was limiting in representing the full scope of your idea - however it does work like this effectively enough!

Lawriejaffa, thanks for watching our film. I agree that we could expand this piece and explain a bit more (visually of course) and it would be pretty solid.

Great job with this one guys. Actually very reminiscent of an episode of the Lone Gunmen - but that's not a bad thing because I think the two are vastly different in their execution.

Your lead ('charlie') did a fantastic job, I thought. One of my favorite performances... he felt very natural and very right. The homeless guy, on the other hand, I didn't find as captivating. Overall some good performances here.

I think what sells me the most about this piece is the concept, pure and simple. I really like the idea and the ending is really effective. That alone elevates this one pretty high, so thanks to you guys for getting in on this fest and making this one happen. One of my favorites!

Jojopop, thanks for checking it out. When Peter presented the concept I was sold immediately. The actors did a great job and everyone worked very well together. The only thing I regret is not having as much time as I would have liked to do more character development but overall, I think each person brought something to the table on this project.

:beer: