ON THE THRESHOLD OF ETERNITY a film by DVXuser chstick

Geoff_R said:
You've got some great shots and locations in this piece. The empty high apartment room/condo room with the sunset is great. Those exterior locations are awesome... I wish I could shoot something in that kind of an environment.

The fall at the beginning really through me off. I just didn't buy it at all. My thoughts on VFX are this... if it's not working, then take it out. I would really consider doing that in some other way; perhaps shooting something with a closeup on his face, have a fan blowing his hair and have a blurred out BG of a building... I don't know but everytime I saw that shot, it took me out of the piece...

Also, there seems to be a lot going on in this piece. Lots of talking, lots of little things we have to keep up with. I say this only because I've written so many unproduced shorts which I'll never shoot because there's just too much going on as well... It's hard with short films because we often try to tell too much. We're cramming as much information/moments/beats into the short as we can but often, the more simple the idea/concept, the better.

This really boils down to how you feel about your work. I'm using my own work and experience as an example. I have a tendency to pack to much into the story... These days I'm trying to concentrate on getting more play from less dialogue. I'm trying to work on ideas that can be universally understood in simple terms that allow strong visual flexibility and beat potential... (hope that makes sense)
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I concur
 
Good ol’ game of Chess with Death. So they were playing for the mantle? Is that what was going on. That’s what I got anyway. I felt your editing could have been a bit brisker. Other than that, I dug the film. Nice short everyman vs. death story. I also enjoyed his reason for staying.
 
chstick said:
I've been really surprised that no one has chimed in as to where I 'borrowed' this from.

Anyone? ....Anyone? ..Bueller?
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Seventh Seal? Ingmar Bergman? ...no. Your profile pic?! I got it! Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey!!!
 
Bryce A said:
Seventh Seal? Ingmar Bergman?
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Yes, thank you. Fairly simple for anyone who has seen this classic film (1958). I was starting to get a little miffed that no one called me on it since I went to great lengths to emulate it.
 
liked the idea you were going for. ambitious short. loved some of the shots you got, especially the ones through the condo window. the man falling was not good though, it was a strong attempt i am sure but it was too cheesy.

acting was okay, thought the wife was good. the lead was alright, i think he would've been even better with quicker cuts. less walking. although how do you get him to meet with death at the beach? not sure. maybe the lead could see himself playing chess at the beach from the condo balcony while he thinks about jumping? didnt see seventh seal, so i don't know what you were trying to emulate. i gotta see more of the classics!
 
Yea, I'll copy a lot of these comments here about the VFX fall, and the funny thing is, is that you can fix that and make it look much nicer.

Even just adding a "strobe" effect, to make it choppy, and if you make the whole image a bit blurry, and really give it a new look, you could improve that shot.

If you like, send me that scene and I can work on it to see if it can be improved.

Just give it a grundgy look with a vignette maybe and crushed blacks, and it might throw people off and they may not fall for it less. You know?

Other than that, cool story. I liked the Andrew Kramer's sound effects ;)

Robbie
 
Hey,

Just caught the flick. ANd interesting piece. I thought the acting was fine and the lighting worked. The locations were really really nice and really worked for you. Love the beach as part of the eternity theme. Endless ocean and whatnot, right?

The story didn't really move me and I think it's because we don't know anything about your lead character. Why he "died" or what happens to him to make him have to play the chess game. Even if what actually happens (why we keep seeing him fall over and over and then restart) was clear, I still don't know if I buy be into it if I still didn'tknow very much about your lead character. I think it's really important for us to care or understand something about him so we can invest in him. ANd I'm not sure we can with this piece.

But a valiant effort. Can't wait to see more from you.
 
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