Divine Intervention - A Robbie Comeau Film

Sadly I cannot get this to play past the 4.49 mark, so I'm missing a whole minute. I'll keep trying.


From what I did see however ...

Opening scene felt very cliché. Rich kid (I assume he's a rich kid based on the car) drinking and driving. Red sports car wiith a young guy is a police magnet, so I somehow don't buy all the alcohol in the car.

But since it was there, I would have liked to see more fractured images of him rummaging through the bottles, more like his blurred POV.

Okay, so he gets out of the car, drops one bottle for no real reason, and sits by a fence, then heads back to his car.

Speaking of the bottle, feels like the timing is off from the time he drops the bottle till the time it hits the pavement. Too quick.

Storywise there was no reason or motivation for him to just park, sit, and leave, so it come across as very staged for the purpose of the conversation. I think this could have been handled much differently - like the ghost just shows up in the passenger seat and the driver pulls over, there is a verbal altercation, and driver hops out and opens the passenger door and demands the ghost leave - of course why would a ghost need to use the door.

Or any other number of scenarios that have some logic. tied to the exchange.

I can't get past the next scene, but it seemas the crash sound effect is a car slamming into a tree or something, which is not the case.

Taking the shirt off also seemed odd. That's an actor trying to look busy.

Dialoge a little OTN.

Concept is strong

I wish I could see all of this and know the payoff. I will keep trying.
 
OTN?

Alex,

Thanks for the critique, but the maqin reason why we had to take his shirt off was because of continuity issues.

We shot the first scene on a Saturday, and then the rest of it the next weekend.

He didn't have that same shirt with him, so we had to use mine (which looked like his, but not so much) So we couldn't afford to wear it, incase anyone picked up on the shirt change. That's why we took it off.

Funny why it won't work, but if you don't really like this of what your seeing so far, then you might not like the ending.

Robbie
 
Nice cinematography and the editing is good. I should get you to edit my next short so I don't screw it up. Anyway liked the sneaky ball placement.
Pauly
 
Robbie Comeau said:
He didn't have that same shirt with him, so we had to use mine (which looked like his, but not so much) So we couldn't afford to wear it, incase anyone picked up on the shirt change. That's why we took it off.

Funny why it won't work, but if you don't really like this of what your seeing so far, then you might not like the ending.

Robbie
Click to expand...

I have had trouble with a few films not playing all the way through. No idea why. And a few say 'unable to render file' but I have no idea what that means. I'll keep trying.

I did not say I did not like what I was seeing, only questioned some of the motivation behind it.

Makes sense on the shirt. I didn't notice it was different, however.

OTN - on the nose dialogue - too direct and expostional. I'd like to see a little more subtext to let the viewer put things together without being told.

Again, the concept is strong. More logic and some subtext would have helped this film.

Maybe I need to go to a cyber to get things to work right. I'm not a techie, so I have no idea how to make this play complete otherwise.

***

I watched what I could again. My gut feeling is that drinking and driving is just such an old a vehicle for setting up cause and effect. I'd like to see blind rage, or vanity or some other cause to running over the kid. I am assuming it was alcohol related by the number of bottles in the car, and a fresh corpse in the trunk - which calls into question another line of logic and continuity ...

If he had had the car repaired, which takes time, how is the corpse still fresh and not stinking up the neighorhood?

It's a good film, just needed a little more attention to detail and a fresh interpretation.

aw
 
I'm surprised what you thought about the dialog, I really liked it!

you are right about the body, and Mike Horrigan had some problems with that scene..

Thanks for the feedback.

Robbie
 
For something you threw together in a short time, I think it came out pretty well. I liked the shots and liked the actor that played the victim.

Next time, take your time to pick a concept and stick to it to the end--no more changing ideas six times.
 
I watched it a couple more times so I could better comment.
As others have said, you've improved a lot since the last fest.

First off, when I saw that he was drinking, I was like, "uh ohh. Actor playing drunk. Danger. Danger." It's a classic "hard-thing-to-play" among acting students and he *somewhat* showed us why, meaning- It came off a little fake. The, "you're coming with me" line was unnecessary because all he would have to do is choose a bottle and take it.

I liked a lot of the camera moves, especially ones where things moved into the foreground, although, many of the moves felt unmotivated. Felt more like- I'll stick this move in here 'cause it's cool.

The story doesn't make itself known for a LONG time. It would be fine if it were a 15 min short, but my feeling is that in 6 min, you HAVE to make the story clear ASAP, at least the situation of the character.

The only other criticism I have is that you could've been more creative with the other guy popping in and out of shots, like while you pan away he runs into or out of frame, and then back again, instead of just merely cutting to it.

It's a very nice piece where you definitely felt the inner turmoil of the character, and it feels good knowing he is going to do the right thing. (at least, I got the impression that he was going to turn himself in)

This is also a great example of how the DVX still RULES when in the proper hands. I loved the look and feel you created. Note to self, shoot next movie outside where there is plenty of free light.

Great job! Keep at it!
 
Thanks man! Appreciate it.

I have to make the story clear? You're the one to talk mister I tell mine at the VERY end, haha kidding, that was a lot different, but I totally understand you.

I actually somewhat rushed this, I guess.

Mike Horrigan and John (The writer) have both told me to stick with a script, plan, and shoot. Meaning, take more time into my film. I fully agree, and for the next fest, I will do a lot of planning.

Thanks for the feedback,

Robbie
 
Good film man. I think the strongest thing here is you have some really good shots going, especially the first shot, the shots when he's sorting through the alcohol, and the shot after he drops the bottle as he's walking away. The actors did a good job and the story was pretty good. I find morality tales a litle hard to do without coming across preachy. I found myself not caring about the characters but moreso just being concerned with the issue of drunk drivers. All in all though, it was a good film.
 
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really cool idea! love the potential here!

maybe take less time to get to the story, i would've liked to see the ghost right in the first shot instead of the guy drinking and driving in open daylight with the top down. some things are too hard to believe and let go without giving me a reason to...what i mean to say is, i will believe it's possible that the guy is so lost that he is willing to drink and drive in a bright red sports car in broad daylight only if i see why he is so lost to begin with... give me a reason as to why he subconsciously wants to get caught. This will then also explain his need to openly drop a bottle and wander off into a school parking lot.

the ghost can be such a stronger character here too. let them play off each other throughout! like, show the ghost the entire time and then towards the end ( like you have it ) show the body in the trunk at the same time or something, this will prob distract the viewer enough to make them forget about questioning how a body could be in a trunk without any damage to the car or probability that he could've gotten this far without being caught by someone...

first shot could be the ghost, " where are we going now?" or something innocuous like that...

then the guy could swerve or something and then ramble off to the parking lot while swigging his drink to make the ghost go away... my 2 two cents...


good acting! the lead was given a monster role and i thought he did alright! good music too.

nice film! i hope you do something more with this... :thumbup:
 
Very intelligent story. I like the cinematography. I only lost the attention sometimes, especially when he walked away and back to the car, there you used too much time. Good work! :thumbup:

Susanne
 
Robbie, excellent work on this one.

I've been struggling with coming up with a critique. Sorry for the delay.

I really enjoyed the framing and grading in D.I. Your coloring skills are very evident here. I thought the story was strong. Your actors played the material well, especially the ghost character. Very believable. The ADR was a bit off, but it didn't really impact how I experienced the film.

I think that a few elements could be tweaked in D.I. to make it even stronger. First, I'd really like to see a quick background glimpse of the ghost somewhere early on in one the frames. Second, I think you might have been flirting mighty close to crossing the line in a few of the intro car shots. Last, maybe you could have the ghost look like he's been in an accident. Kind of like Pet Semetary when the boy keeps haunting the main character. That always freaked me out. Of course, this was your vision, and these are just suggestions.

Overall, a strong entry with a good message. Keep on the path, my friend. I think the best is yet to come.
 
Thanks everyone, everyone seems to like the cinematography so that's a plus.

Thanks Richie, I enjoyed your film a lot.

Robbie
 
Carrying on the tradition from Timefest, the AIM sessions have returned, a live stream of whatever may come out of our heads as we watch your films. Here are Ben Sliker, Brad Mate, and Justin Kuhn's thoughts on "Divine Intervention."

Since for some reason, since we couldn't get Adium, AIM and iChat to all agree with each in one chat room, we had to go to an online chat room for the 3-person chats. After almost being molested by a forty year old man in a chat room for "privates" (ben read private chat), we managed to hop on to the chatzy client, which worked well. Note: Never search "free chat" in google and expect what you are looking for.

Ben: divine intervention?
Kuhn: ok
Jebus: rdy
Kuhn: set
Ben: COMO!
Ben: 3
Ben: 2
Ben: 1
Ben: go
Kuhn: ooo ...SHINY
Ben: nice s2000
Kuhn: it's red. to match his eyes
Ben: DRINKING AND DRIVING IS BAD ROBBIE.
Ben: STOP SETTING A BAD EXMPLE FOR THE YOUNG USERS
Jebus: that is not a vodka bottle
Jebus: THAT GUY IS DRINKING WATER
Ben: this guy
Ben: WASTED
Ben: hooking up with fat chicks
Ben: making bad life decisions
Jebus: ALCOHOL ABUSE!
Jebus: WHAT A DICK
Ben: MAN DOWN!
Jebus: BOO THIS MAN
Ben: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Ben: man ... it's not even afternoon
Jebus: WE'RE GOING STREAKING!
Ben: this guy is a lightweight
Ben: I LIKE THE DRINK, LAY OFF ME
Jebus: who mixes their booze?
Jebus: lol. i feel so bad about drinking and driving that im gonna drink and drive to cope
Ben: dude, i'd love to have a dead friend, although I don't think this guy would be up for the shenanigans I'd have in mind.
Ben: GO TO THE POLICE AND RUIN YOUR LIFE MORE
Kuhn: we could have revealed these things with pictures instead of dialogue I feel
Ben: at least the COMOTOGRAPHY IS GOOD
Ben: THE GUN IS IN YOUR HAND. THE GUN IS IN MY HAND.
Jebus: ONTARIO?
Ben: how can we reference one of our films in this?
Jebus: NO WONDER THIS GUY IS SO WEAKSAUCE
Ben: yeah ... he's a canuck.
Jebus: this guy sobered up too fast...
Ben: DUMP THE CAR
Ben: SAY IT WAS STOLEN
Ben: maybe you could just call the cops and save the drunk drive over there ...
Kuhn: it's all sepia except the car
Kuhn: very nice
Jebus: say a black guy stole it when he noticed your mccain bumpersticker, and he carved a backward b in your face
Kuhn: very topical brad
Jebus: thats what im here for
Ben: brad is the topical master blaster
Jebus: pew pew
Ben: lol awesome laser sounds brad
Jebus: your welcome
Kuhn: I'll sit in the pew in the back
Kuhn: MOVING ON
Jebus: lets
Ben: but i was going for the "beyond thunderdome" midget on top of stupid giant guy sort of master balster
Kuhn: horrible
Jebus: final thoughts?
Kuhn: uh
Kuhn: heavyhanded story wise, he told rather than showing
Kuhn: literally
Jebus: looked good, didnt make much sense to me. guess im too logical but if you just killed someoneyou wouldnt be drinking and driving more with the body stached in your car
Ben: hey ... I GET TO DO THE FINAL THOUGHTS QUESTION
Kuhn: more than one location would have been nice.
Jebus: i think justin made a good point about showing and not telling. way too much telling
Ben: i drive with bodies in my car all the time.
Kuhn: just last week right?
Ben: i have to kill them cause i have that little "pull to get out" thing in my trunk
Jebus: i just said justing had a good idea. i need to shower i feel so dirty
Kuhn: I know I'm surprised myself
Ben: well, hopefully justing won't have any more good thoughts
Kuhn: justing doesn't have many
Ben: good

como, i think you can probably guess what I'm going to say here, but I'll say it anyway. Cinematography was solid, and I think you have the skills to be able to show your audience what you want instead of spoonfeeding it to them with exposition. I think you picked an appropriate amount of content for the 6 min limit and tackled a fairly serious issue without breaking a sweat. Keep getting better Man! I think a beer is appropriate for this short. :beer:
 
Thanks guys, pretty funny feedback.

Although, you weren't really talking about the film..I want my money back :).

Thanks again,

Robbie
 
I got the part where you said you like the cinematography, but DURING the session, wasn't much, but I understand now. (what ever comes out of your heads) haha.

Seriously, it's sweet you do all this, and I'm not giving you a hard time at all.

I think you gave me a nice review for Last Date With Jessica, also.

Yes, yes you did actually now that I look back.

Robbie
 
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