Killer Time a film by Alain

I am not very fascinated in general of guns, but in your film there were necessary. I think that you created very well the right atmosphere for this filmgenre. The story is credible and the music works good with the film. I personally had a problem with the frame quality - I saw all the pixel, but perhaps it was only my proplem. A lot of compliments!

Susanne
 
Susanne G. said:
I am not very fascinated in general of guns, but in your film there were necessary. I think that you created very well the right atmosphere for this filmgenre. The story is credible and the music works good with the film. I personally had a problem with the frame quality - I saw all the pixel, but perhaps it was only my proplem. A lot of compliments!

Susanne
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Thanks, the pixels was do to my poor encoding knowledge..sorry about that.
 
I liked the cinematography in the interiors. The scene of the guy doing his boxing practice, especially, was very nicely lit. I thought the script worked well, it just lacked a bit of originality to make a really interesting film. All in all though I think you did a good job.
 
Horncastle said:
I liked the cinematography in the interiors. The scene of the guy doing his boxing practice, especially, was very nicely lit. I thought the script worked well, it just lacked a bit of originality to make a really interesting film. All in all though I think you did a good job.
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Thanks again for the time you took to watch and comment my film.!!
 
I thought there were several really nice shots in your film, especially the close-ups. I thought the acting was pretty solid. The editing was very weak though, with dissolves within the same shot, and some other strange choices. Maybe because of a lack of things to cut to? Whatever the problem is, that's something to work on for next time. I liked your title logo, but it stays up over too many shots, and that feels weird.

Keep at it!
 
jasonthewho said:
I thought there were several really nice shots in your film, especially the close-ups. I thought the acting was pretty solid. The editing was very weak though, with dissolves within the same shot, and some other strange choices. Maybe because of a lack of things to cut to? Whatever the problem is, that's something to work on for next time. I liked your title logo, but it stays up over too many shots, and that feels weird.

Keep at it!
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The disolves was due to the lack of footage to edit, I forgot to shoot a part of the script and then I had to use the audio from a previous shoot that I filmed in a different location. I filmed the short on the weekend of the week before the deadline, then I edited it during the week at night. For next fest I'm planning to have more time shoot my scenes, hopefully within several days and not just in one day like I did.
Thanks for your critiques
 
Hey,

Just caught the flick. I thought the casting was good and the locales were good. The look, overall was nice.

For my money the music could have been better. Also the jump cuts didn't seem warrented nor did they add to the film.

The story felt weak to me. No movitvation behind the killings, no reasons for it. It just felt a little bit like "give the order, kill the guy, etc." which isn't much of a story. Also, I didn't feel anything for any of the characters. Give us a reason to care for ANY of them and I think it would definetely improve on this piece.

Overall, decent effort. Keep em coming.
 
Nice! I'm glad to see someone trying something straight up commercial and gangster! The plot didn't really pull me in, so next time something a bit more engaging (with girls would be nice :-), but I love that this wasn't another group of 20 year olds in their apt. You are on your way!
 
Danielleus said:
Hey,

Just caught the flick. I thought the casting was good and the locales were good. The look, overall was nice.

For my money the music could have been better. Also the jump cuts didn't seem warrented nor did they add to the film.

The story felt weak to me. No movitvation behind the killings, no reasons for it. It just felt a little bit like "give the order, kill the guy, etc." which isn't much of a story. Also, I didn't feel anything for any of the characters. Give us a reason to care for ANY of them and I think it would definetely improve on this piece.

Overall, decent effort. Keep em coming.
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I could not afford to pay any composer so I had to use cinescore to score the film. There was motivation for the killings, Ricky (the Boss) needed to kill The bussines man because he was going to testify against him so they hire Raul to take care of the job. Then after the job's done Ricky tells his assistant to kill Raul so he have no outside witness that could testify against him or blackmail him later on. In my mind all of characters were criminals so I didn't worry about a reason to care about any of them. Thanks for your comments and critiques.
 
shawneous said:
Nice! I'm glad to see someone trying something straight up commercial and gangster! The plot didn't really pull me in, so next time something a bit more engaging (with girls would be nice :-), but I love that this wasn't another group of 20 year olds in their apt. You are on your way!
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Thanks for your comments. Originally I had the opening scene with Ricky and a girl that included the girl getting in and coming out of the pool and go to Ricky but I did not like the way it came out so I did not included it. The thing was that I did not conducted any casting, The people that acted in my short were all friends and I ask them the favor to do this for me. Like I said before I wished that I had more time but all of this was done in a rush. Again, many Thanks .
 
Alright, Blane had a good point, it doesn’t help anybody to sugar coat things so be forewarned: I’m going to say what I feel and you can take it or leave it, but it's how I feel at the moment and I'm working really hard to help people, not hurt feelings...

So here we go...

Lighting in the gym scene is flat and needs some directionality to it. There is no shape to the actor or the equipment.

Punching bag scene is much nicer lighting.

Why the Time magazine font. I think it’s distracting.

Edit on “tomorrow” is jarring 0:33

Transition at :45 the 16x9 bars go to white. Either redo them after the effect in FCP or whatever your using or cut them off for the contest.

Shot at :49 is too washed out and dreamy-looking.

Phone dialogue at 1:35 is too harsh, tone down the high mids (2-3k)

Shot at 2:03 no door opening g sound.

Shot at 2:08 door closing sound too early.

Watch shot 2:12 bg sound rushes in for just that shot then is gone. Cut that sound and let the music do the work here.

Shot inside car 2:33 blacks are milky, they don’t match the previous shot.

I like the desperate elbow hitting at 2:54

At 3:14 I’d like to hear the car door closing even if it spills into the next shot.

Shots at 4:17 too washed out, put your zebras on.

Edit at 4:20 was too slow after “stop the crap” to “hey hey” I think you should tighten this edit so it feels more like a real conversation.

Edit at 4:42 crossed the line. This is distracting.

Why does boss thug always have unlit cigar?

Gun shots at end should be louder than ambient sound IMO.

Nice work on completing an entry.
Good luck in the future!

-Joe
 
conrad_johnson said:
Alright, Blane had a good point, it doesn’t help anybody to sugar coat things so be forewarned: I’m going to say what I feel and you can take it or leave it, but it's how I feel at the moment and I'm working really hard to help people, not hurt feelings...

So here we go...

Lighting in the gym scene is flat and needs some directionality to it. There is no shape to the actor or the equipment.

Punching bag scene is much nicer lighting.

Why the Time magazine font. I think it’s distracting.

Edit on “tomorrow” is jarring 0:33

Transition at :45 the 16x9 bars go to white. Either redo them after the effect in FCP or whatever your using or cut them off for the contest.

Shot at :49 is too washed out and dreamy-looking.

Phone dialogue at 1:35 is too harsh, tone down the high mids (2-3k)

Shot at 2:03 no door opening g sound.

Shot at 2:08 door closing sound too early.

Watch shot 2:12 bg sound rushes in for just that shot then is gone. Cut that sound and let the music do the work here.

Shot inside car 2:33 blacks are milky, they don’t match the previous shot.

I like the desperate elbow hitting at 2:54

At 3:14 I’d like to hear the car door closing even if it spills into the next shot.

Shots at 4:17 too washed out, put your zebras on.

Edit at 4:20 was too slow after “stop the crap” to “hey hey” I think you should tighten this edit so it feels more like a real conversation.

Edit at 4:42 crossed the line. This is distracting.

Why does boss thug always have unlit cigar?

Gun shots at end should be louder than ambient sound IMO.

Nice work on completing an entry.
Good luck in the future!

-Joe
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Thanks for your critiques, I know that I had too many issues and I don't get mad at anybody for telling me the truth. Like I said before this is my first short and I learned a lot from my mistakes and errors. For my next short I hope not to make the same mistakes and I hope I'll have more crew to help me with my film, for this short I had to do everything by my self exept holding the mic. Oh and the unlit cigar is because he does not smoke, I just wanted to add more personality to the character. Again many thanks for your comments.
 
Oh I forgot, you wrote: "Shot at :49 is too washed out and dreamy-looking." That was my purpose, I wanted it to show it different looking because it happened early on, so I want it to create kind of a flash back.
 
I didn't buy the actor playing the boss at all. The other two actors had some stiff moments, but I could see them in the rolls. The boss just took me out of the film.

I think in just about all cases in your film using cuts instead of dissolves would help. Not only in the pacing of the film, but it will also make your film look more polished. Give it a try. I could be wrong, but when I just started editing I dissolved everything, and slowly learned that a cut is the most used transition for a reason.

Like may people have said, this is much better than the first thing I ever shot. Keep at it. :)
 
krestofre said:
I didn't buy the actor playing the boss at all. The other two actors had some stiff moments, but I could see them in the rolls. The boss just took me out of the film.

I think in just about all cases in your film using cuts instead of dissolves would help. Not only in the pacing of the film, but it will also make your film look more polished. Give it a try. I could be wrong, but when I just started editing I dissolved everything, and slowly learned that a cut is the most used transition for a reason.

Like may people have said, this is much better than the first thing I ever shot. Keep at it. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for your comments
 
I hate starting out reviews with negative comments, so let me say that you did do a good job. There are, as I am sure you know, things that could be improved as well. Some of the things I made note of are as follows:

1) At 0:27 when Raul reaches for his phone the next frame cuts to him holding the phone to his ear. This kind of flash cut didn't really work for me in this situation, felt a bit awkward.

2) At 2:08 the sound of the car door shutting is premature, as if added in afterwards because the original recording didn't sound very good.

3) When the man is leaving his house he stops and looks around constantly as if expecting to be shot.

4) Choking scene was awkward, mostly audio wise. If you aren't going to have an audible struggle, some music is good to cover for the fact.

5) NEVER POINT A GUN AT YOUR CROTCH! Dangerous! :grin: When the guy comes out of his house it is too obvious that he has a gun. I would have just not shown it at all, as it can be assumed a person in his line of work would pack heat. Especially since he doesn't get te order to kill Raul until right before he sees him, maybe have him look at the car seat and see the gun after he hangs up with his boss.

6) Talks to Raul for too long explaining, Raul had enough time to turn around and shoot him. Then he hesitates for a long time getting him killed. Seemed a bit unlikely. Then, when he gets shot no blood is instantly visible. Maybe have him not wear white if you want to get away with that.

7) "How'd you get in here? I wasn't expecting you." is delivered in a very weak way. The ensuing murder is sketchy at best, with the scene cuts between the blood appearing and the lack of recoil when the gunshots sound it came across awkward.

Please take these comments purly in a constructive way. Storywise it may have been a bit cliche, but it was good nonetheless. You have a lot of well done things as well, just needs some polishing up. Good job and good luck!
 
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