First short film

P

Paladin

Well-known member
Hi y'all!
Okay, I recently shot a short film for my filmmaking class. It was actually the third film shot, but it was the first one shot using my new DVX100B. I shot it using 24pN, squeeze mode, Cine-like D, Master Ped -5, Chroma Level -3, Detail Level -4, A. Iris -3, shutter OFF. I would really like some feedback on this film and advice on how to improve my cinematography. You can see it at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VrncGFGE-g

Please bear in mind that youtube's resolution is the pits.

Thanks.
 
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Nice man, especially for your first! One thing I noticed, work on the smoothness of your pans/movements. Other then that, it looked pretty good!
 
yeah, work on the pans.(even the small details will lose the viewers interest)

I don't know if you had to make a 6 min movie for the class but it could of been way shorter.
also, what emotion were you trying to acheave? maybe you can work on that next time!!!
 
Thanks for the critiques, guys. Yeah I don't care much for pans, but they were required for the grade. There were a minimum number of required shots, of minimum length, that were required, so I was stuck with them.

I wasn't trying so much for emotion other than the surprise revelation of the "Slasher's" identity.

The film as it was first posted was actually a sort of rough cut. Because of Murphy's Law, I was unable to shoot it until the day before it was due in class. We spent five hours shooting 22 minutes of tape. On top of that, the music I had ordered through Amazon was late in arriving, so I had to just grab something that "sort of" worked temporarily. I spent that night editing to suit the assignment and burned a DVD to submit in class. Maybe it was a bit premature, but I went ahead and uploaded the rough cut to youtube.

Once the rough cut was submitted, I was then free to edit it a bit further, though the minium length required was five minutes, and the music I originally planned to use finally arrived.

Anyway, here is the revised version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxIfGkaQkyI

Again, thanks for the feedback, guys!
 
there are a few things you could work on for future projects. 1) use your pan, but don't keep re-adjusting to try and follow the action. you can practice blocking with actors to keep them in the frame without having to constantly move the camera, that is what i meant about distracting camera movements. 2) if you can mic your talent(provided you have a shotgun or lav) you should definitely do so because it is very difficult to make out the dialog. 3) try experimenting with your scene settings some more as well as watching your zebra levels. also, if you have the experience or know-how, use bounce cards or diffusers to try and light your talent. there are tons of books available about lighting for film/video. i hope this wasn't too comprehensive or critical, just trying to help :)
 
I wanted to see more of their faces and EYES, especially in the beginning. The audio will be better if you shoot a CU anyway. The eyes can show a lot of emotion and subtext. Obviously, the killer girl is thinking "I'm the killer, but I can't let it be known to you if you are going to be my 13th victim" Maybe the killer has a pact with herself that she will not kill if she is invited to go. I felt like the car had a bigger role than the victim. Instead of showing the whole driving sequence, you could've had a nice shot at full zoom of her walking towards the camera in the woods, giving you some depth of field. You could pan as you keep focus on her. That way, we can find out what she is thinking. Is she afraid? Is she fearless? When she comes to the stop sign it's like an omen, we saw her hesitate for a second, but only in a wide shot from behind. You would only need to show the stop sign for a second, then cut to her looking at it, from the front. Maybe you should've put some police tape with a sign about the killings warning people not to go into the park.

Maybe she should have gotten out of the car, THEN decided to go back for the gun, just in case.

One thing is for sure, if we see a lot of backsides, the only conclusion we can come to is if they have a nice butt or not. Show those faces so we can get to know who they are.

Also, if you're doing something last minute, without thinking it through in terms of "what HUMAN story am I telling here? and how does EVERY short support that story?" you are cutting yourself short.

It's easy to be a critic, so I hope I'm not being to hard on you. Keep it up!
 
Thanks for all the advice, guys. Yeah, I've watched the film over and over to pick out the mistakes and problems so that, next time, I will do better. I'm a rank beginner at filmmaking and I have a lot to learn. To add to the list of difficulties, I spent all the money I had just buying the DVX100B, so I'll have little to spend on other eqipment for awhile, but I feel the expense was worth it. I'll just have to make do with what I have or can scrounge.
 
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