ExtremeSleuth
Veteran
my friend george is a radio announcer and when he walks under a bridge you can't hear him talk
VICIS - story explained on Page 22
- Thread starter Tomas Riuka
- Start date
n8ture
Veteran
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.
Mark Johnson
The Dude Abides
This is more fun than I usually have on Saturdays guys!
n8ture
Veteran
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.
"That's too much," said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."
The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."
"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.
"That's too much," said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."
The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."
ExtremeSleuth
Veteran
here's a few more
who is the dumbest woman on a film set? The one sleeping with the writer
a director and producer are stranded in a dessert. they come upon an oasis, and the director immediately starts drinking out of the oasis. when he looks up he sees the producer taking a piss in the oasis. he asks the producer what he's doing, and the producer replies "making it better."
who is the dumbest woman on a film set? The one sleeping with the writer
a director and producer are stranded in a dessert. they come upon an oasis, and the director immediately starts drinking out of the oasis. when he looks up he sees the producer taking a piss in the oasis. he asks the producer what he's doing, and the producer replies "making it better."
n8ture
Veteran
Today's Stock Market Report:
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
ExtremeSleuth
Veteran
if heat rises, shouldn't heaven be hotter than hell?
n8ture
Veteran
This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis:
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Iowa.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest or hottest spot in the nation, you might live in Iowa.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Iowa.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Iowa.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, & they don't work there, you might live in Iowa.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Iowa.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Iowa.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Iowa.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Iowa.
You know you are a TRUE Iowan WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & DAMN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Missouri.
15. A brat is something you eat.
16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday.
18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fire works melted.
19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Iowa.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest or hottest spot in the nation, you might live in Iowa.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Iowa.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Iowa.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, & they don't work there, you might live in Iowa.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Iowa.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Iowa.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Iowa.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Iowa.
You know you are a TRUE Iowan WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & DAMN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Missouri.
15. A brat is something you eat.
16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday.
18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fire works melted.
19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends.
n8ture
Veteran
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
ExtremeSleuth
Veteran
alright, i'm out. gotta get up early in the morning. this was awesome.
ExtremeSleuth
Veteran
very nice!
by the way i never said this. good luck with the fest!
by the way i never said this. good luck with the fest!
Tomas Riuka
Well-known member
thanks 
i hope i can manage reaching my own goals, though it's gonna be very hard... i think you will forgive me anyway, as this is not only my first movie for DVX fest, but my first normal short in my whole 3month movie producer's carrer 
i got into the movies just 3 months ago...
i hope i can manage reaching my own goals, though it's gonna be very hard... i think you will forgive me anyway, as this is not only my first movie for DVX fest, but my first normal short in my whole 3month movie producer's carrer i got into the movies just 3 months ago...
Tomas Riuka
Well-known member
the very first post update with movie info, please check.
sh... i didn't know first why do you make reservations, i though wtf ??? now i know
jeez, i wish there was a nomination for biggest threads i would have won 2nd place ))
sh... i didn't know first why do you make reservations, i though wtf ??? now i know
jeez, i wish there was a nomination for biggest threads
i would have won 2nd place ))
Tomas Riuka
Well-known member
I'm happy to announce, that DazDicks.com will be composing music for our short!
Thanks a bunch , Dazz!!
Thanks a bunch , Dazz!!
Ted Arabian
Member with Ladder
Hello Tomas!
Welcome to the festival! It looks like you have made a fast start here.... 12 pages on your thread??? I have got some reading to do!
I like the colors of your poster. Very nice.
Good luck and Enjoy!
-Ted
Welcome to the festival! It looks like you have made a fast start here.... 12 pages on your thread??? I have got some reading to do!
I like the colors of your poster. Very nice.
Good luck and Enjoy!
-Ted
Ted Arabian
Member with Ladder
Well... I just read through your thread. Looks like the boys had a party on your thread! (that happened to me a few fests ago!)
I see that this is your first film. Good for you!
I do like that poster. Very nice.
-Ted
I see that this is your first film. Good for you!
I do like that poster. Very nice.
-Ted
Tomas Riuka
Well-known member
thanks Ted!
fat monster guys had some fun, indeed, i don't mind i just wish i lived in US, so i could come over to them and drink some beer with them
fat monster guys had some fun, indeed, i don't mind
i just wish i lived in US, so i could come over to them and drink some beer with them
Mark Johnson
The Dude Abides
HEY RIUKA!!!! I just wanted to stop by and say hi again.
In all seriousness, we would TRULY love to make it over to Europe in the not too distant future. We have very close friends in England and have been making some new friends in other countries too. If we can find time (maybe in a year?) to make a trip it would be great to come by Vilnius to see you. Who knows? Maybe we can even figure out something to shoot together.
So nice to have a wide variety of people in this community with talented guys all over the world. You've got a great attitude and we're so happy to have you in the community.
In all seriousness, we would TRULY love to make it over to Europe in the not too distant future. We have very close friends in England and have been making some new friends in other countries too. If we can find time (maybe in a year?) to make a trip it would be great to come by Vilnius to see you. Who knows? Maybe we can even figure out something to shoot together.
So nice to have a wide variety of people in this community with talented guys all over the world. You've got a great attitude and we're so happy to have you in the community.
Tomas Riuka
Well-known member
holly crap i would love to see you here and we can definintely shoot something together, just need to prepare everything in details, and we can work out something
though if you plan to come, plan on doing in between may-september, cause this is the best period, other months - crappy cold weather.
i hope i can give back something to the community from which i learned a lot! reading all these forums and especially watching your movies! when i got into moviemaking just a few months ago, i first saw drama fest movies, i was amazed! i started looking "how do they make it" i found out, what's a 35mm adapter, wireless mics etc etc etc... cause i didn't know a thing about movie making... and it's dvxuser fest's movies, what inspired me to get on this ship and something myself!
so i really hope i can grow into somebody with both right hands, produce and shoot something worth for indie filmmaking!
i would love to see you here and we can definintely shoot something together, just need to prepare everything in details, and we can work out something though if you plan to come, plan on doing in between may-september, cause this is the best period, other months - crappy cold weather.
i hope i can give back something to the community from which i learned a lot! reading all these forums and especially watching your movies! when i got into moviemaking just a few months ago, i first saw drama fest movies, i was amazed! i started looking "how do they make it"
i found out, what's a 35mm adapter, wireless mics etc etc etc... cause i didn't know a thing about movie making... and it's dvxuser fest's movies, what inspired me to get on this ship and something myself! so i really hope i can grow into somebody with both right hands, produce and shoot something worth for indie filmmaking!