One of my first shorts

clarkage

clarkage

Well-known member
This is one of the first shorts i have ever done. It was made in about 4 hours (including editing) and was shot on my Panasonic PVGS320.

Criticism would be nice but dont make this a "diss fest" please. Just if you could help me out with some pointers on what i can change next time. (One of the main reasons that i did this was to see what i really need to improve on)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WG6R-TY9hZc
 
hmm sorry about that i think that youtube is having technical difficulties right now because i cant seem to even get on to youtube. I will try uploading it somewhere else.
 
that was pretty funny. i think the editing could have been cut a little cleaner. keep at it.
 
ok it is working now! Thanks for the comment! I know the editing was a little rough I edited it faster than I wanted too, but i have been so busy that i just HAD to get this done fast.

Keep the comments coming!
 
You could (and should) easily cut that in half. The closeups of various objects around the room were pointless. The sound was awful, but I assume that was something to do with hosting it.

Pretty good though, much better than I thought it would be.
 
haha I am 14. I just started out on filming and i just posted this up here to see what i could work on. I did notice that it was a little long in the scene where he (I) first try to brush the spinach out. But again I made it to work on stuff that makes me an "amateur" still.

The close ups were just to kind of give the short a sense of setting there wasnt any point of them being in there i just thought why not.
 
Anything else? These tips are really helpful to me, I really want to change the way my filming is now and make it better.
 
just film as much as possible. make little exercises for yourself. if you'd like to work on color correction... go film a few small scenes and match your footage, grade it... whatever. same with lighting.... same with editing... then throw it on here and let everyone have their way with it..... so to speak! :)
 
Definitely cut it down.. I think a lot of the shots were held too long, especially for the type of film you;re making. If you've ever seen "Snatch", that's a good examples of the cuts you should be doing, that quick snap snap paces that keeps the story going and the visuals interesting.
 
I saw the trailer and a few scenes from "Snatch". I see what you mean by those fast cuts. I have been looking back at this and I now see that the scenes were too long. I think i would have caught this if i had REALLY tried and edited this with all of my best efforts. Like i said earlier, I had just made this short in a quick time span.

Also, I hear what you are saying about doing short little "experiment" types of things to build on what i have. I will definitely do this and post em up here so you guys can have at them. ;)
 
i liked the ending...pretty clever. Nice job! I agree it seemed long even though it was only 5 minutes...maybe if it had some music in it to help with the emotions...but that's a whole different art in itself. Nice job overall though
 
for 14, you're doing rather well...

my advice - don't look at this for a month or more. go and shoot something new. once you're done with it, go back and recut this short and set a time limit for yourself (can i tell this story in 1.5 minutes, or 2 minutes?)
 
If my experiences are any indication, within a few months this won't be good enough by your standards to warrant revisiting.

That's a compliment, by the way.
 
Yes, I already am feeling like this isn't enough.

richke, you have brought up an excellent point! I really should have added some music into it.

I think i have learned my lesson to fully watch whatever it is that i have just done 5 times and see what i can improve on before i make it final.

Anything else? I have an idea in mind for another little short that i can do to test some things out. I will definitely keep in mind what you guys have said so far though when filming/editing.
 
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