The Poet - A Kurt Jewell Film

I thought this was very sweet.

I thought your cast looked great. They seemed a little nervous at times, but their charm won me over. It probably helps that I used to write poetry in high school - I even wrote a girl a sonnet once. :)

I loved the end credits. Very cool. What did you do that with?
 
Good audio levels overall, and i thought the concept was cheasy but it worked for the majority of us out there, although it didn't work in real life for me, so this story is fantasy unless someone was lucky enough to experience this. But it doesn't hurt to dream right? Even though those days are long and gone. I still like. . .
 
Chris Messineo said:
I thought this was very sweet.

I thought your cast looked great. They seemed a little nervous at times, but their charm won me over. It probably helps that I used to write poetry in high school - I even wrote a girl a sonnet once. :)

I loved the end credits. Very cool. What did you do that with?
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When I was younger I was never much of a poet, maybe a haiku or two, but now my 11 year old is. He inspired me to write the poem for the poet. I thought it worked well as a teen poem. If the guy was sappy enough to write it he might just be crazy enough to read it to a gal.

BTW, when I was in HS I sang to my girlfriend, now wife of almost 20 years, in physics class. The teacher couldn't believe it!

I did the credits in After Effects. I wanted to have the credits write on, but no dice for 15 seconds or less.

Thanks for your comments!
 
Now that is a guy.

GUY: Hey baby, like my poem/
GIRL 1: You're a freak.
GIRL 2: I like your poem.
GUY: Girl 1 who? Let's party, baby!

I thought this was really great. Some of the blocking felt a little clunky in the coffee shop, and I kind of wished you'd used more OF the coffee shop, since you got hold of it.

The only other thing I think is you might have been able to take some more time with the build-up. There is one central event in this short: "Ask the hot girl out." So I felt like you could have given the guy some more to overcome leading up to the asking out. As it is, the drama of the situation is a little breezed over.

But I thought that lead guy was really good at leaving himself alone on camera. He seemed pretty natural and not self-conscious as an actor.

Nice Riot Gear.
 
Mark Harris said:
Now that is a guy.

GUY: Hey baby, like my poem/
GIRL 1: You're a freak.
GIRL 2: I like your poem.
GUY: Girl 1 who? Let's party, baby!

...

The only other thing I think is you might have been able to take some more time with the build-up. There is one central event in this short: "Ask the hot girl out." So I felt like you could have given the guy some more to overcome leading up to the asking out. As it is, the drama of the situation is a little breezed over.

...

Nice Riot Gear.
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LOL! Niiiiice summary! Yup, I rushed. I had a few more build up scenes planned but we had a tight window of time to film at the shop. Still, I should've just pushed the envelope and done it the way I'd intended. I gotta stop rushin things!!!!

And yup, I'm a videocopilot.net junkie! No Riot Gear, but I am a customer. They rock!

Thank you, thank you for the comments!
 
Yeah, it's the reason I wasn't able to make a comp fest entry. Right or wrong, my gut told me not to compress it into 6 min, and I knew I had to live with the short after this fest.
 
Kurt,

Awesome opening title sequence. Someone is very talented here. I like the energy of the music at the opening. Well done.

Good use of camera movement and the editing was nice. I thought the acting was a little stiff at first. The concept was charming and I really like the story idea. It may a little cliche’, but I’m a sucker for those ‘hopeful’ stories.

Technically not too bad. The most trouble I think was seeing the lights reflected in the fireplace when the two friends are sitting down.

Favorite shot was at about TC 00:21, dolly shot while he’s writing.

Overall, good job and congratulations on making a movie! :)
 
RobertE said:
The concept was charming and I really like the story idea. It may a little cliche’, but I’m a sucker for those ‘hopeful’ stories.
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Between this and my SpyFest film I think I get the most likely to be labeled "charming" award. I think I got 3 Charmings on my last production and here it is again.

Thanks for the comments and review.
 
Cool film. I was impressed with the fact that you were able to get an actual high school location. The shots were nice and the acting from the friend seemed pretty natural.

Interesting subject matter. I think almost everyone can relate to unrequited high school love.
 
good film
maybe a little typical subject matter and story. good locations in high school and shop. lead guy was a bit stiff but as the story got going he came across as that sort of kid naturally ( did that make sense?) . his sort of possessed attitude towards the cute girl made it a bit hard to believe he'd turn around in a second to grab a chance with another girl. i read up top that you were crunched for time in the shop, brutal, that all out battle to get the goods in time before the location dies... good stuff though! congrats!
 
Hey, your film was nice and sweet. The main felt natural and at ease. Here is what stuck out at me: The hallway in which the main is discussing with his friend is the quietest high school I've ever heard. It really needed some ambient sounds to fill out the reality of the scene. Sure there weren't many people around, but no school is that silent. If you're looking at revisiting this project, that wouldn't be hard to touch up. Just a suggestion.
 
Bryce A said:
The hallway in which the main is discussing with his friend is the quietest high school I've ever heard. It really needed some ambient sounds to fill out the reality of the scene. Sure there weren't many people around, but no school is that silent.
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I definitely thought about that. All the ambient in the coffee shop was added. I just never found the ambient school that was quite right. Most were too noisy for my scene. I probably should add a few locker sounds at the very least.

Thanks for the review!
 
Kurt - Just watched this again and I have to say I was overall impressed.

The opening is really strong - well lit, well cut, looked great.
Then you go into the school...and I have to admit, the first time I saw it my initial reaction was "here we go, nice opening and now we get into a really bad dialogue scene with kids who can't really act" (sorry, but that was what I was expecting from past experiences). Well damn wasn't I surprised when the dialogue started and it was snappy, natural, moved well, and delivered great - that guy playing the lead's friend did a killer job as well with his comedic lines that can so often fall flat:

"Hi I'm nobody, woudl you like to go out with me"
and
"What, to her house so she can laugh at both of us?"

Both those lines got a laugh out of me - and made me feel for our main character...
which is great. That first scene was well conceived and well excecuted.

The coffee shop scene was well shot also - given that you were in a practical location.
The thing that held me back on this one was the girls reaction - she's so mean to him from the beginning that it's obvious to me that she's going to shoot him down, so when it happens it wasn't nearly as painful to me as I think it should have been.

But overall - the scene worked - all I'm saying is it may not work as well as it COULD have (in my opinion anyhow).

The only other thing I would say is that the final montage of them chatting went on a bit long for me - honestly you could have ended it wiht him walking off screen at 3:50.
By going into that montage I kept expecting the montage to end and for us to hear some of their dialogue...I thought somehting else was going to happen...but instead they chatted for 25 seconds. I could see ending with a shot of them sitting, chatting, laughing... but I dont' see a need for a montage there. Just my 2 cents.

The closing credits also kicked ass by the way - they look killer - my only gripe there would be that they don't really seem to fit the mood of the piece. But there is no denying they look cool.

Overall nice work - well constructed, nice and sweet story.
Your lead was good, and your dialogue was natural for the most part.
You're way ahead of the game from where I was at that point.
:thumbsup:

Congrats - and I hope to see you in the next fest.
 
I'm gonna give you another "charming" label! Can't help it, I had a big grin on my face the whole time. Great work here man.

Biggest needed areas of improvement I see are sound design (both on set and in post), and a little looser camera work. The framing sometimes felt constricting.

Sorry if you already answered this, but was there any improvisation? The actors looked like they were a bit too locked in to the dialogue, and would have benefitted from the freedom of improvisation (while adhering to what the script required). Just spitballing here.

Again, really enjoyed this.
 
Luis - Thanks for your detailed comments. I agree about cutting the ending. I cut both the opening and the closing montage. The more I watched it, the more I did want to cut off a section at the end. I didn't consider dropping the montage altogether, but you're right the story is donw there. Combining that with your credit comment, perhaps I could have overlaid the credits on the montage....next time. Thanks for your encouragement! I'll be back and hope that you will too. I learn alot from making my own and seeing what other gifted folk do with theirs.

Curugon - Thanks for the comments and encouragement. Sound on this is better than my last production, but admittedly need more work. I need to get some help to learn some better techniques. And no, we really didn't allow for improv. The teens weren't experienced actors (though they did a fine job) and I think giving them something to work with made them feel more comfortable. With more experienced actors, I could see giving them some leeway.

Thanks again for the great comments!
 
Kurt, OMG, man!! Your credits were off the freakin' chain! We need to talk - that was impressive. I love the story. I actually didn't know what was going to happen once he got shut down. Nice ending. You had some good shots in here and lighting, especially when he was writing in the library. Very cool. The only suggestion I would make is with the music and background stuff. The music seemed too loud in places, like before he went in to go talk to the girl and then while he was talking, the music and other voices seemed to kind of drown him out. That's the only thing I saw. A very good short and some kick a$$ credits. I'll have to pm you about that. Sorry it too me so long to get to your film, it was one of the first ones I tried to watch, but the download didn't work correctly the first time. Good luck and looking forward to see what you do next.
 
Nice sweet film. Good casting, especially the main character's friend. You kept everything moving nicely. The sound was a little iffy and I was a little distracted by the music in the coffee shop but other than that, it was a well done piece. Good job.
 
Good job dude. Your end credits were seriously nice. You crossed the line when the dude's reading the poem on the reverse and the ending montage was too long but all in all, great. Nice locations too.
 
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