Please Review: Character Lineup For Upcoming Sitcom

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seunosewa

Well-known member
Developing The *Right* Characters For One's Show

I've been trying to develop the perfect characters for an upcoming web sitcom because I know that great characters make a great show. But the process seems so arbitrary; it's as if I have no way of knowing whether what I have is good, good enough, or needs to be improved.

I'd like to know what you think about my current character lineup:

Character 1, 26, is a rational guy. A cynical loner who would be living alone doing outsourced software development if he did not have a sister (character 2). He is prone to sarcasm, insensitive comments, depressive observations about life. He doesn't believe in anything - religion, family, God, romance, or politics - he only believes in his own judgment. He's single and not looking for anything but an occasional lay.

His sister Character 2, 18, is one of those girls who grew up with boys. As such, she's a fan of sports and a pretty good martial artist. But she's also very naive about romance and men; if she wasn't, she would have all the boys at her beck and call. Unlike her brother she has a kind, empathetic heart that is prone to being taken advantage of, which is also why she's the only person in the world who could bear to live in Character 1's flat

Character 3, 22 is an uneducated motor park tout who was brought home by Character 2 after he told her the story of her life in a chance meeting. He is going to be the buffoon of the show. He's incurably optimistic and has big, impossible dreams that he strives to achieve when he's not busy with his adult education classes, much to character 1's derision. He may be in love with character 2, who can't hide her affection for him, but Character 1 has promised to kill him if he makes any move on his sister.

Character 4, 29, is a housewife next door who likes to scold our characters for not following traditional African values, being messy, being promiscuous, choosing the wrong clothes, etc. But she has an unconventional sex life with her husband, which spills out by mistake when the other characters spot steamy love letters, bedroom toys, erotica, etc in her possession. She never admits having such a life despite the overwhelming evidence.

The setting is a middle-class apartment block somewhere in Lagos, southern Nigeria. What do you think about these characters? I'll be very happy to get any form of feedback. Thanks a million in advance!
 
Feels a little like Three's Company --- sorta.

Watch old episodes of that and Will and Grace to get a feel for the rhythm.

I like the explanation of the characters, but it feels a little off the shelf. You could switch 1 and 2, and make the older sister the rational cynic loner, and the younger brother the one who grew up with girls and is in touch with his fem side.

3 feels a little like Joey. You'll need to work at it to make him his own character.

4 feels like she really needs a reason to be the way she is. I'm not so sure the whole toy thing is needed. The letters, and/or trashy romance novels or the like might also work.

Maybe she has no sex life with her husband and live vicariously through romance novels, and evern tries her hand at her own. When she throws it in the trash, the nieghbors find it.

a

www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com
www.thegoloaffair.wordpress.com


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The sister doesn't quite ring true in being 'naive about romance and men' - given her other characteristics, I'd have expected her to cynically believe men are only interested in sex, and so be hopeless at recognising genuine _romantic_ love in others (or herself).

And given the Nigerian setting, you just have to have some spam references somewhere - e.g. the characters are never taken seriously by foreigners as everyone wrongly assumes they're spammers. Or the ultimate irony, one character really does have 45 million dollars stuck in a bank account but his/her every attempt to retrieve it results in laughter/abuse by anyone he/she contacts.
 
After giving it some thought, I began to warm up to the characters a bit. However, I suggest you go far deeper into developing the essence of the women - so far it seems to lack scope and dimensionality.

For instance, a big improvement in C4 is developing the relationship to her hubby - far more than just their sex life. After all, she must already dominate him and others in her life - so work on that tension with hubby and your existing characters. That will take the show much further than a one-dimensional sexuality story.

C2 needs a lot of work to interest the audience. Would this be the type of person you'd like to watch? What should we expect to learn? She sounds all protagonist - certainly she must have greater depth than discussed so far...

I suggest you use the tried and true approach of "interviewing" your characters in depth. Write down a series of typical questions we all face in life, then write down their responses. Where do they stand on forms of power beyond love and romance? (money, time, politics, fame/fortune, etc) Ditto on values (ethics, laws, religion/spirituality) Think about their goals, dreams, fantasies, etc. And their personal struggles (background/upbringing, bad choices, environment, stereotypes, etc)

Hope this provides a catalyst for spawning your creative juices...

Good luck, Michael
 
I don't see enough inherent conflict built in here--except maybe for the sarcastic brother's desire to keep his sister safe from the motor park guy. The nosy neighbor seems ancillary. Why Nigeria anyway?
 
Sorry guys. It's because I'm based in Nigeria. Actors, locations, etc will all be Nigerian. But it's not going to be a local sitcom; I plan to publish it on the web.

I think I agree with clang and moonlitnite that the female characters, especially character 2, need more work. I'll probably have to interview some women to come up with some character details that are both believable and potentially humorous. And then I'll interview my characters as moonlitnite suggested.

Alex suggested switching the genders of characters 1 and 2 and I think he has a point there. It'll be good for breaking stereotypes and for setting the show apart. But from the audience's point of view, it currently seems to me that a cynical female loner will be much harder to like than a cynical male due to the double standard that society imposes on us. In most parts of the world, such as mine, this double standard is still everywhere. People aren't even ashamed of saying things like "a man can do this, but a woman should not" openly.
 
seunosewa said:
But from the audience's point of view, it currently seems to me that a cynical female loner will be much harder to like than a cynical male due to the double standard that society imposes on us. In most parts of the world, such as mine, this double standard is still everywhere. People aren't even ashamed of saying things like "a man can do this, but a woman should not" openly.
Click to expand...

Same with my country, and all the more reason to do it.

a

www.thegoloaffair.wordpress.com
www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com



.
 
clang said:
The sister doesn't quite ring true in being 'naive about romance and men' - given her other characteristics, I'd have expected her to cynically believe men are only interested in sex, and so be hopeless at recognising genuine _romantic_ love in others (or herself).

And given the Nigerian setting, you just have to have some spam references somewhere - e.g. the characters are never taken seriously by foreigners as everyone wrongly assumes they're spammers. Or the ultimate irony, one character really does have 45 million dollars stuck in a bank account but his/her every attempt to retrieve it results in laughter/abuse by anyone he/she contacts.
Click to expand...

Actually, I could see something interesting developing with the sister's character. Being almost a 'tomboy' type, she's never viewed men in any romantic way -- until recently. Suddenly, her hormones have kicked in. Unfortunately, all the guys seem to see her as just 'one of the guys', to her utter frustration. So she overcompensates -- practically throwing herself at men -- which puts C1 in the terrible position of having to protect her, keep her out of trouble, and at the same time help teach her how to have a proper relationship with a guy -- which is new territory for him, since he himself has no desire for any relationship beyond a 1-night stand. Not only is that a situation ripe for conflict, but also for growth of these two characters.
 
And for what it's worth, I think setting it in Nigeria and including the personalities and customs of that region is a GREAT idea! Get it on the web and give people something different from the usual sitcoms. Who know -- it might just be a hit!

Good luck!
 
chapelgrovefilms said:
Actually, I could see something interesting developing with the sister's character. Being almost a 'tomboy' type, she's never viewed men in any romantic way -- until recently. Suddenly, her hormones have kicked in.
Click to expand...

This might be more interesting of a character for Nigerian audiences, depending on how women are traditionally viewed. It isn't so big a deal in North American contexts, but it still might have cache in Africa...(just an example)
 
chapelgrovefilms said:
Actually, I could see something interesting developing with the sister's character. Being almost a 'tomboy' type, she's never viewed men in any romantic way -- until recently. Suddenly, her hormones have kicked in. Unfortunately, all the guys seem to see her as just 'one of the guys', to her utter frustration. So she overcompensates -- practically throwing herself at men -- which puts C1 in the terrible position of having to protect her, keep her out of trouble, and at the same time help teach her how to have a proper relationship with a guy -- which is new territory for him, since he himself has no desire for any relationship beyond a 1-night stand. Not only is that a situation ripe for conflict, but also for growth of these two characters.
Click to expand...
DeSica said:
This might be more interesting of a character for Nigerian audiences, depending on how women are traditionally viewed. It isn't so big a deal in North American contexts, but it still might have cache in Africa...(just an example)
Click to expand...
Great idea! Just realized that I've never actually encountered a tomboy outside movies and TV shows. Do they actually exist, or are they just a geeks' fantasy?
 
Not being sarcastic, i promise... but how funny is a story about a writer who pitches a brilliant sitcom to some network execs and all they keep saying is "Does it have to be Nigeria? Denmark seems much funnier." Then the writer says, "The people of Nigeria are intriguing and would be interesting to watch." The exec ponders this then says, "Okay, how about if the Nigerians are renting a beach house in Santa Monica? We could give them a wacky neighbor. Sort of a Pauly Shore type, but younger."

Sounds like every network meeting I took this year.... If you want to use Nigerians, and you feel strongly about it, just do it.
 
macyfilms said:
Not being sarcastic, i promise... but how funny is a story about a writer who pitches a brilliant sitcom to some network execs and all they keep saying is "Does it have to be Nigeria? Denmark seems much funnier." Then the writer says, "The people of Nigeria are intriguing and would be interesting to watch." The exec ponders this then says, "Okay, how about if the Nigerians are renting a beach house in Santa Monica? We could give them a wacky neighbor. Sort of a Pauly Shore type, but younger."

Sounds like every network meeting I took this year.... If you want to use Nigerians, and you feel strongly about it, just do it.
Click to expand...

That might work as an episode, though I'm not sure it's sustainable as an ongoing series. But it could be funny to have the main character whose goal in life is to get his Nigerian-based web sitcom series off the ground. Running into production nightmares. Trying to cast 'real Nigerians', but everybody who auditions is trying to look/sound American. Finally gets it online, then the challenge is getting it out there -- getting people to actually watch it. This might not be funny in and of itself, but it could be the framework around which the humor is built. Quite often, humor is in the characters as well as the situations -- funny people doing mundane things, as well as normal people doing funny things.

Of course -- we don't want to write the series FOR him. :happy:
 
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