Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Ah, very nice idea Jason, definitely something that could have worked, and gotten a little deeper into the characters... 
Thanks, good call.
Thanks, good call.
Brandon Rice - "Welcome To The Party"
- Thread starter Brandon Rice
- Start date
Chris Messineo
Veteran
I loved the opening of this film - the whole first half in fact. It felt like the beginning of a feature. The cinematography, score, and editing were all great.
The second half still looked and sounded good, but I'm afraid it just didn't work for me story wise.
All your technical stuff is fantastic, I would love to see what you can do with a different story.
The second half still looked and sounded good, but I'm afraid it just didn't work for me story wise.
All your technical stuff is fantastic, I would love to see what you can do with a different story.
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Thanks for the comments Chris...
What about the story didn't work for you? Just curious. Thanks.
Chris Messineo
Veteran
Honestly, it feels like there are two different stories here.
Up until, 2:37 when the power goes out we have a slow paced character study of a hard working, intelligent (and possibly lonely) woman and her coworker who clearly has a (potentially unhealthy) interest in her. It has a great tone and subtext and it feels like a character driven story - which I love.
The power goes out and while this is potentially interesting - the story moves into a series of cliches. The woman instantly becomes the classic helpless and screaming/simpering victim. Why does the dead woman show up? Why does Josh terroize her? Why does Amy see herself dead - did she overdose - and if so why - mistakenly - did Josh do something? It all feels very forced, as if it exists for the purpose of creating a series of scary moments and cool reveals.
Maybe, it's me and I just didn't get it, but I wish the story had remained character driven and delivered on it's promise.
Having said all that, I didn't hate it at all. In fact I liked it. It's just that, I loved the first half and was disappointed when the second half didn't feel as good.
I hope that was helpful and made some sense,
Chris
p.s. Do you normally write your own stories? If you do, you might want to check out MoviePoet.com
Up until, 2:37 when the power goes out we have a slow paced character study of a hard working, intelligent (and possibly lonely) woman and her coworker who clearly has a (potentially unhealthy) interest in her. It has a great tone and subtext and it feels like a character driven story - which I love.
The power goes out and while this is potentially interesting - the story moves into a series of cliches. The woman instantly becomes the classic helpless and screaming/simpering victim. Why does the dead woman show up? Why does Josh terroize her? Why does Amy see herself dead - did she overdose - and if so why - mistakenly - did Josh do something? It all feels very forced, as if it exists for the purpose of creating a series of scary moments and cool reveals.
Maybe, it's me and I just didn't get it, but I wish the story had remained character driven and delivered on it's promise.
Having said all that, I didn't hate it at all. In fact I liked it. It's just that, I loved the first half and was disappointed when the second half didn't feel as good.
I hope that was helpful and made some sense,
Chris
p.s. Do you normally write your own stories? If you do, you might want to check out MoviePoet.com
I think chris has hit the nail on the head, i too came away feeling disappointed & it's because the story falls away & doesn't live up to the high quality production value of the camerawork & audio & for the most part the editing. Story to me is the most important part of any film & i can forgive the quality of many elements of production if i'm hooked to what's going on. This started off really well & I was intrigued up until the lights going out, then it all seemed a bit stuck on & cliche & ultimately left me feeling flat & uninterested in the characters. A shame because there's obviously a lot of craft & skill gone into most elements of this production
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Hey Chris, I'll go into the story a little here, but I feel like I've covered everything through the thread by now.
I think you missed the point of the second half of the film.
I think the second half really is her discovering a new world, where she now resides... she ACCIDENTALLY overdoses... Josh had no hand in it... Josh dies from a car wreck, and they are now together forever in the underworld... Josh is excited, because again, of his unhealthy attraction to her.... and she is horrified realizing what this fate means...
Yes, I use some cliche elements in the second half, but I think they work. I also think cliches are good sometimes, ESPECIALLY in a short film, where you have precious little time for setup.
Thanks again for your comments, I appreciate you taking the time to explain the things you had issue with in the story... hope my next one will work better for you :thumbsup:
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
I love writing, though I am still learning the craft
Will check that out, thanks!
J.R. Hudson
Spirit Animal
I might have to go back and watch again ?
Do we see or hear about an accident ? As an audience, it appears the man is just dead all of a sudden.
For me, it really threw me off; almost as if I was to assume HE WAS DEAD ALL ALONG ?
Of course he wasn't, but when suddenly there were all these dead people hanging out, I was like 'Huh?' Zombies ? What's going on ?
This is where the 2 minutes of credits could have really been used to expand on your points I think Brandon; showing the man in an accident perhaps (Thinking out loud; I don't know).
Not intending to be redundant; I understand your motivation on the opening sequence; but I think as an audience we got within 15 seconds that she was alone, she was working, it was an empty office.
Shots (like words on paper) should not be watsed and each should serve to propel the story further; never stagnating.
I also was really thrown out when it was balckness and the ghost people. Did not work well I think.
If they were ghosts, I would have loved to have seen ghost imagery; aberitions (Spell?) or some halo effects; something ...
In so far as an overdose, it may have been better to show this in another light ... Maybe a suicide would have worked, showing her being a mess or drinking while taking the pills, or taking too many of them .. I dont know ..
I got lost I admit.
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Ah well; best thing I have seen from you yet though !
Do we see or hear about an accident ? As an audience, it appears the man is just dead all of a sudden.
For me, it really threw me off; almost as if I was to assume HE WAS DEAD ALL ALONG ?
Of course he wasn't, but when suddenly there were all these dead people hanging out, I was like 'Huh?' Zombies ? What's going on ?
This is where the 2 minutes of credits could have really been used to expand on your points I think Brandon; showing the man in an accident perhaps (Thinking out loud; I don't know).
Not intending to be redundant; I understand your motivation on the opening sequence; but I think as an audience we got within 15 seconds that she was alone, she was working, it was an empty office.
Shots (like words on paper) should not be watsed and each should serve to propel the story further; never stagnating.
I also was really thrown out when it was balckness and the ghost people. Did not work well I think.
If they were ghosts, I would have loved to have seen ghost imagery; aberitions (Spell?) or some halo effects; something ...
In so far as an overdose, it may have been better to show this in another light ... Maybe a suicide would have worked, showing her being a mess or drinking while taking the pills, or taking too many of them .. I dont know ..
I got lost I admit.
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Ah well; best thing I have seen from you yet though !
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Dude, it all comes back to the same point again... how to foreshadow without being too obvious... when the girl turns the radio on you can hear the reports of an accident on the freeway...
Same thing goes with the pills... again, we had more shots of her taking more pills at different times... I chose to not use them, as I felt it would give it away, and not simply foreshadow, as I wanted that to.
I want this short to be one like sixth sense where people watch it again and pick up on the hints throughout... I didn't want to be obvious about it because then I would get (I think) people saying "I saw the ending coming" "It's so predictable" Again, not saying I accomplished what I set out to do, but I am giving the theory behind it.
:beer: :thumbsup:And regarding your points about the ghosts, I wanted them to appear to be normal (not other worldy) except for the fact that they were obviously dead. But the underworld in this film is just a parallel world of dead people.
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J.R. Hudson
Spirit Animal
Gotcha.
I see the intended reason Brandon; just letting you know from an audience members viewpoint.
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I can dig the normal looking dead people; reminds me of AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF in LONDON except yours weren't wearing Nazi helmets and executing people with machine guns.
I see the intended reason Brandon; just letting you know from an audience members viewpoint.
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I can dig the normal looking dead people; reminds me of AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF in LONDON except yours weren't wearing Nazi helmets and executing people with machine guns.
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Gotcha.
I see the intended reason Brandon; just letting you know from an audience members viewpoint.
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I can dig the normal looking dead people; reminds me of AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF in LONDON except yours weren't wearing Nazi helmets and executing people with machine guns.
hehe. Thanks dude, and yeah, again... I may not have executed the theory here... but know it was thought out... not just something passed over :beer:
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Matt Harris
Veteran
brandon theres something i love about this flick. you're a big rodriguez fan right? im assuming you dug Planet Terror? theres something about the planet terror dialogue thats so cool and so funny, and so grindhouse. dialogue that maks me laugh out loud but simply because its tongue and cheek and clever simultaneously.
well "welcome to the party" reminds me of that. at the end when the dude says
"welcome to the party" i was loving it for that same reason. it was cool, it was catchy. it was funny, and it was the title to your film. props for that. am i even in the ballpark with my reference?
well "welcome to the party" reminds me of that. at the end when the dude says
"welcome to the party" i was loving it for that same reason. it was cool, it was catchy. it was funny, and it was the title to your film. props for that. am i even in the ballpark with my reference?
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Dude... that is absofreakinlutely how I felt about the overall vibe of this film! Totally!
You totally got it man! It worked for you, and for that I am thrilled! :beer: :dankk2:
And you got the way the dialog is supposed to be understood too! Fantastic!
Did you read the backstory on the first page??
And yes, I LOVED Planet Terror
Matt Harris
Veteran
Did you read the backstory on the first page??
you know what, i did, but awhile ago. i remember you said you were watchin
the "film school" extras on the PT DVD and i was too, during the week it came out.
i always loved the campy cool "welcome to the party" line but i just now, tonight, connected the dots. thats why i just posted. great work!
you know what, i did, but awhile ago. i remember you said you were watchin
the "film school" extras on the PT DVD and i was too, during the week it came out.
i always loved the campy cool "welcome to the party" line but i just now, tonight, connected the dots. thats why i just posted. great work!
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
Hey, Brandon. I just watched this again. I actually really liked the shift in colour during the time change. I especially liked the power outage scene, it looked great and sounded perfect! As well as set up the mood for the payoff...
Nice work.
Mike
Nice work.
Mike
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Thanks Mike! Appreciate the comments... yeah, I really like the shift in look in the film as well
Michele Seidman
Well-known member
Brandon
I finally got to watch your film last night. I might watch it again because there was one thing that confused me.
I thought it was shot really well, the FX was spot on and I am jaded on that from having worked with Jeff Goodwin (blue velvet and more). The acting was solid and your lead handled the quick stuff better than most. I liked the workaholic in peril story line...like a baby sitter alone at night...it tends to work.
I did wonder exactly what happened to her. I saw her popping the pills but did she take one too many or were they tainted? That is why I am going to watch again today too because I wonder if I looked away from the screen for a moment and the answer is right there in front of me but I missed it.
I finally got to watch your film last night. I might watch it again because there was one thing that confused me.
I thought it was shot really well, the FX was spot on and I am jaded on that from having worked with Jeff Goodwin (blue velvet and more). The acting was solid and your lead handled the quick stuff better than most. I liked the workaholic in peril story line...like a baby sitter alone at night...it tends to work.
I did wonder exactly what happened to her. I saw her popping the pills but did she take one too many or were they tainted? That is why I am going to watch again today too because I wonder if I looked away from the screen for a moment and the answer is right there in front of me but I missed it.
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
The idea is she OD'd... I know it might not be clear through the first watch... but I didn't want to make it TOO obvious (there are shots of her taking more pills that are on the cutting room floor) I wanted to foreshadow her death...not telegraph it...
Thanks for checking out the film! Appreciate it!