Clean Slate Productions presents "IN PIECES"

For such a simple concept, this is one of my favorites so far. I absolutely loved the use of color in the black and white, and the lighting was beautiful! Your actor was very creepy, too.
 
Solid production values. Looked and sounded pro. Actor very good. Graphics very good. Felt a little claustrophobic, repetitive. Would have like more cutaways (flashbacks) as he told his story.
 
Hey guys, nice job on this one. I think the choice of B&W for this was very well developed. The actor really made the role come to life.

I liked the Mason jar scene where it spun into frame. The gold color was beautiful mixed with the black and white. I think it would have been cool to see in slow motion... but then you wouldn't have been able to use the audio, so the real-time speed was the right choice.

I saw this a few days ago, so I really can't be sure, but was the impaling scene in B&W? If so, then I think a nice dark red, very desaturated, blood spill from the pipe would have been a nice touch.

This is probably going to be my #1 pick. You guys were so much improved from the coffee thing that you did back in SpyFest. Congratulations on your growth as filmmakers. :)
 
lauralouface said:
For such a simple concept, this is one of my favorites so far. I absolutely loved the use of color in the black and white, and the lighting was beautiful! Your actor was very creepy, too.
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I'll pass that along to Davis. :)

Maximus said:
Solid production values. Looked and sounded pro. Actor very good. Graphics very good. Felt a little claustrophobic, repetitive. Would have like more cutaways (flashbacks) as he told his story.
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Maximus, thanks for the watch and comments. We did what we could to not take away from Davis' performance. I'd love to hear any thoughts you might have on how we could dull the sense of repetitiveness for you, or any other insert shot suggestions you might have without taking away the impact of the performance or having the insert shots becoming too gimicky or repetitive themselves.

Like I alluded to a little earlier, I'm in the early stages to writing something larger for Mr. John Abbot Mitchell, so any insight into the character from an audience is much appreciated.

:dankk2:
 
tommyinla said:
Hey guys, nice job on this one. I think the choice of B&W for this was very well developed. The actor really made the role come to life.

I liked the Mason jar scene where it spun into frame. The gold color was beautiful mixed with the black and white. I think it would have been cool to see in slow motion... but then you wouldn't have been able to use the audio, so the real-time speed was the right choice.

I saw this a few days ago, so I really can't be sure, but was the impaling scene in B&W? If so, then I think a nice dark red, very desaturated, blood spill from the pipe would have been a nice touch.

This is probably going to be my #1 pick. You guys were so much improved from the coffee thing that you did back in SpyFest. Congratulations on your growth as filmmakers. :)
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I'm going to blow your mind here Tommy ... the mason jar shot IS in slow motion and there's actually 2 cuts in there as well. Go frame by frame and you'll be able to see them. Herman and Erik did a great job of adding that sound in.

I actually did mess around with the blood out of the pipe being red and the neck having red blood on it as well. The decision to keep them black and white was that when John is in that space in the garage, everything is black and white, but when he acknowledges the outside world, things are more and more in color. That was sort of the overarching concept behind it all, but adding more color did cross my mind.

Thanks for the watch and the comments, especially the one about our growth as filmmakers, those are really nice to hear.
:dankk2:
 
Wow... I guess I figured it was real time by the audio... In that case, very nice on that effect. I didn't even notice a cut in that at all the first time... I just watched the scene a couple of more times and I do notice it... but it's cut very well and the sound matches flawlessly. It's a great example of what I call time manipulation and it really work well here. As a matter of fact, that scene really puts the whole sound production into perspective. Herman and Erik (not sure who Erik is) did a great job on the entire piece... :)

And that shotgun scene with the slow smoke and light just kicks ass... :beer:
 
We did what we could to not take away from Davis' performance. I'd love to hear any thoughts you might have on how we could dull the sense of repetitiveness for you, or any other insert shot suggestions you might have without taking away the impact of the performance or having the insert shots becoming too gimicky or repetitive themselves.

Like I alluded to a little earlier, I'm in the early stages to writing something larger for Mr. John Abbot Mitchell, so any insight into the character from an audience is much appreciated.

:dankk2:[/QUOTE]

My first impression was that it was very theatrical. Your actor sitting in the dark, lit by a spotlight, talking to the audience (into camera). I was wondering who was he talking to: a detective, a priest, his lawyer; where was he: jail, confessional, death row... I was expecting some exchange of dialogue, Q & A, whatever, instead of a monologue.

Having just looked at it again, I now realize he was talking to a corpse! No wonder he didn't answer!

But I still think that, despite Davis' compelling performance, he needs someone or something to play off of. Even Tom Hanks in Castaway had Wilson.

My two cents. :)
 
tommyinla said:
As a matter of fact, that scene really puts the whole sound production into perspective. Herman and Erik (not sure who Erik is) did a great job on the entire piece... :)

And that shotgun scene with the slow smoke and light just kicks ass... :beer:
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Erik is a buddy of Herman's who did a lot of the sound design for us, i believe they are both in their final years of getting masters degrees in film music composition.

And thanks for transition for me to explain the shotgun scene.

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The HVX is way down there in the bottom right corner and we had Davis on his knees to get better/easier lighting on him. (Another bonus of painting the walls black, we could hide black light stands pretty much anywhere.)

The REAL 12-gauge shotgun was rigged with a tube from a pressure sprayer (the pink part went about 1/2 way down the barrel), and I had the pleasure of trying to blow a steady stream of cigarette smoke through it. We also rigged the smallest flashlight Maglite made to the end of 2 chopsticks and attached it to the inside of the barrel. So that yellow smoke coming out of the barrel was practical, and I pulled it out using a limit effect in post.

Justin did a great job of setting this shot up and kudos to him also for suggesting to me that the wine glass shot needed something after it to really sell the sequence.
 
navitas said:
IN PIECES
Incredible! Scared the crap out of me! Great use of color. I think I’d go with the red blood but maybe it’d be too obvious…
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Navitas' review from his big post out in the general area. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
 
This was, in my opinion, the best short I've seen on dvxuser so far.

In true indy style it was raw. No Hollywood shine here (And I mean that to be taken as a compliment).

Lighting was great, the actor was precise and creepy. The use of color was just enough and the sound was great!

I honestly don't have one negative thing to say about this film. Congrats guys on a well put together project. :beer:
 
Excellent film. It is in my top three. My vote for best actor of the fest. Loved the gun barrel. The final garage door shot was a beautifully haunting image.

david
 
Ladyhazle said:
This was, in my opinion, the best short I've seen on dvxuser so far.
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that's very flattering, thank you. :)

david jerome said:
Excellent film. It is in my top three. My vote for best actor of the fest. Loved the gun barrel. The final garage door shot was a beautifully haunting image.

david
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thanks david, we'll pass all this on to Davis, when our team originally met with him, he told us that we stumbled upon one of the best actors in the area, after what he did for us, i'm starting to believe him.
 
Hybrid, this is my favorite. The shots were done well, and the lighting was fantastic. My main reason for selecting this was the actor. He was great! I hope he continues in the film industry. He definately fit the part of the bad guy here. The script also got me, ummm has the writer done a lot of slicing thru body's? lol Great Job on this one!
 
Kdawg said:
Hybrid, this is my favorite. The shots were done well, and the lighting was fantastic. My main reason for selecting this was the actor. He was great! I hope he continues in the film industry. He definately fit the part of the bad guy here. The script also got me, ummm has the writer done a lot of slicing thru body's? lol Great Job on this one!
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Thanks for the comments Kdawg. Ben and I spent a lot of time researching killers and the art of killing...though you would be suprised how much just came straight out of our sick minds.
 
xpac84 said:
Thanks for the comments Kdawg. Ben and I spent a lot of time researching killers and the art of killing...though you would be suprised how much just came straight out of our sick minds.
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lol, it's crazy some of the things you talk about when writing a script like this, i think one of the most interesting convos we had was when we discovered that most serial killers have some sort of sexual connection with their victims, we really wanted to stray away from that, so John's purpose was self-satisfaction, perfection in a kill so to speak. But yeah, a lot of times you have to pull yourself out of it and ask "Man, are we really talking about this right now?"
 
Best one I have watched so far. Very good composition and contrast in the shots. Good acting and perfect execution of the story.

Also, one of the few truly dark themes in the fest. (Alot of the films are light in terms of darkness)

Great work. As of now (10 more to go) this is number 1 on my list.
 
my coolio animated banner had to go away, But I spent an hour making this thing and I think it's cool, so:

 
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I thought this was very good.

Great performance and I loved the cinematography and the mix of B/W with some color.

I was digging the music throughout and not at all surprised to find out this was another Witkam score.
 
thanks a lot Chris, I can't say enough about the job that Herman and Davis did on this project. thanks again for the view and comments!
 
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