"A Walk in the Dark" first version

U

USLatin

Panamaniac
I need some help on how to polish this film via inserts re-shoots and audio & CC tweaking. Please help with your notes and comments.

About it:
_ Shot in the HVX without a lens adapter. Barry's Coral scene file was used. 1080p 24fps.
_ About 5% of the movie was lit, though a bit more than that was bounced. All else was straight up available lighting.
_ 80% + had to be looped since I didn't have my AT shotgun or proper wind protection when we started.
_ Most of it was shot with a Fig Rig, sometimes with it on the ground or resting on a case or other high stable surface. Liittle was done on a tripod or hand-held. The playground scene was mostly shot on a steady cam.
_ This is my first "real" editing job done 100% on Vegas 7 + Sound Forge.
I responsible for all post.
_ However I only mixed the score which was composed recorded and engineered by two close friends.
_ I also did have a Pro share some sounds with me via e-mail. However I created most of the sounds from my own recordings (still needs lots of work).
_ Credits at the end.

Deserved trash talking welcome. Helpful tips on making it better preferred.


"A Walk in the Dark"(link)

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. . . . . . . I am still working on the DVD sleeve but here is a possible surface for the DVD:

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I'll change it in a bit, first I need to re-render it anyway. I am mailing it in today so I actually got a few more small tweaks in.
 
I am one to comment if I download.

So here are my inital Thoughts. You opened up with no establishing shot. It actually came later. I would have the credit over the close up of the picture frame. Seems like to me that most of the short was totally ADR work. The background seemed to drop (Female dioulgue after shot of phone. I could not even hear what she said.) in and out in a lot of spots or be too loud in other spots (Park meeting male). The plot of the film through me some. At first the plot through me. So who killed her sister. It was never established. Also if she did not do it, which clearly should could not have based on the phone call and her running out the door when Sister was calling. But nothing was established to say whether or not she is going insane killing cause she was killed. BUT why males? Why not all sexes? Whe doesnt know that is was a male who killed her sister. I think the film was shot great. The only thing that bugged me was the Bathroom master shot. It's higherarchy seemed to be off for me. I think if you were to spend some more time in editing It would be great, cleaning up the shots, and cleaning up the story and ADR. You could have yourself a VERY respectable short. These are my opinion of course.
 
The line after the shot of the phone is something that she mumbles under her breath, the guy responds saying: "what?". Was that something that bothered you because I asked you to find stuff or do you think it might be a problem that needs a solution?

I do need to mix it all to make sure the peak levels between the different scenes are not extremely different. Thanks for bringing that up. I think this new version I am uploading now had some mixing and panning done to it though, maybe that helped a bit (same link, available in about 1hs).

The sister's killer is not established... it was supposed to be a random murder which fueled her psychosis.

I most definitely want to work on the audio, but the shots are already the less shaky ones... We were shooting with one 8GB card which meant we couldn't shoot a lot, which meant I didn't have a lot of choices for the takes... HOWEVER, we want to do some pickups, so feel free to tell me what shots bother you the most.

The bathroom shot is funny, and we don't want to take ourselves too seriously, also I wanted to change the mood... I like it like that... humm... I hadn't gotten that yet... interesting, thanks.


jinks said:
Link is broken.
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Yea, I am uploading again. Give it about 1hs.
 
USLatinContent said:
The sister's killer is not established... it was supposed to be a random murder which fueled her psychosis.
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i totally didn't get that from the short.

i was a little confused and thought that maybe she was just psycho and killed her own sister since it went from her about to answer the phone to a later scene where a woman is killed who we didn't see. i watched this a coupla hours ago before lunch so i may be forgetting some small detail that would have answered my question.

other than that i thought the film was well put together except the audio.
 
Yes, I know... it wasn't established on the script and we were rushed into production without enough pre... is that something that we need to work on or is it not that big of a deal? I don't know anymore, I've been working on this short for too long now...

Now I can't see how anyone would think that Jenna killed Hilary (sister) since she is such a skinny little girl and the person that kills her sister is not a small person.

Really? Again the audio? Is it that horrible? What's the main problem with it? Did you guys have the volume turned up?

BTW I JUST GOT THE NEW VERSION UP
I did do a little audio work but I don't have much hopes for it now. I thought I did an ok job on it considering that it was all ADR and my first ADR ever but I guess it needs to be completely re-done.
 
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I just received a few suggestions and I cut the first take on the front end to get rid of the ugly bumps/shaking, thanks David Jimerson. I also made Jenna's line after the phone audible, thanks SurJones. I also lowered her hotter lines in the park, I think I know what you were talking about, thanks!

Thanks for the help guys, please keep it coming! I need your help as my brain is kaput on regards to this project... I am too close and burnt out on it... there was too much I had to learn too fast.

Anything else that could help it?
Is there anything I could do to lower the noise?
 
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USLatinContent said:
Now I can't see how anyone would think that Jenna killed Hilary (sister) since she is such a skinny little girl and the person that kills her sister is not a small person.

Really? Again the audio? Is it that horrible? What's the main problem with it? Did you guys have the volume turned up?
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yea as far as the killer seeming like it was the girl it may have just been me because i was not paying attention that close on the part when the girl got killed. it was a long shot and i was eating while i watched it so i didn't notice if the killer was kind of big.

as far as the audio i just know that ADR sound i guess. i don't think i've heard any adr work on our level that sounds seamless. i noticed the lips were out of synch in some spots in the start and i didn't hear a lot of "outside sounds" or i'll pu it this way: they were outside talking but it sounded like they were in a studio talking.

all my comments are based on whatever version was posted at the time of my first post though. i haven't downloaded the newest version.
 
There wasn't much change from the first to the second other than some panning and a little of work on some of the levels. Nothing that would make the ADR sound more believable. I do want to do more sound design on it but I ran out of time as I need to submit tomorrow.

Do you remember where the lips didn't match? There one mistake I know of but I couldn't get the talent to trust me in that we needed to record that... I still need to earn that trust :) There are a couple of other spots where I do want to re-do the ADR but again no time. I'll have to do it later.

Thanks for the feedback!

About the killer... do you think I should consider establishing him?
 
USLatinContent said:
There wasn't much change from the first to the second other than some panning and a little of work on some of the levels. Nothing that would make the ADR sound more believable. I do want to do more sound design on it but I ran out of time as I need to submit tomorrow.

Do you remember where the lips didn't match? There one mistake I know of but I couldn't get the talent to trust me in that we needed to record that... I still need to earn that trust :) There are a couple of other spots where I do want to re-do the ADR but again no time. I'll have to do it later.

Thanks for the feedback!

About the killer... do you think I should consider establishing him?
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lol, i just watched it again and that is CLEARLY a dude that kills the first girl. i was eating and i must have missed that entire sequence. my bad. i think its fine as it is because you show its a male killer, we expect a male killer, then we expect the stalker thats trying to get in her pants but she turns out to be a nutjob. no need to establish the killer since it's none of the people we suspect anyway.

audio issues i noticed was at 1:15, 1:22, 2:13 (an echo), and just the fact that there wasn't much outside noise (traffic, birds, etc.) the rest of it i didn't notice because i was paying attention to the story at that point and things started happening.
 
Ok, great, thanks for getting back to me about that! I was stressing about it... I don't know what to think anymore after the crunch, every 250 frames or so I could swear I see this pink elephant... lol

Thank you SO much for the TC on those echoes!!! I have been thinking about the audio since SurJones brought it up and I am more convinced than ever that I need to get to work on filling in the sound design... I barely had time to do anything... I had to make up the killing, the first scene, the stabbing and slashing, the cars, the grave (with nothing but a pair of left over TILES, lol)... the the park's ambiance with all the kids.... and I am doing this for the first time... it took me a long time but I know I got a lot more to add so it sells... I also think I might have to re-do some of the ADR that I couldn't sync...

So not to end the sound discussion, please keep it coming! But how about the color? I had to deal with a pink day from not white balancing... all of the Boss stuff and Jenna with him... then all of the park by the playground... then the bridge was R-E-D from using the available lighting which was the most red sodium vapor bulbs in all of CA, lol... I am just joking but you should see the stock footage... it was great for the scene though... Did it seem ok? I guess so or at least not as bad as the audio? We shot it all on Barry's Coral scene file.


EDIT: I looked at 1:15 1:22 and that is the reverb from the un-finished sound booth, but I didn't want to ask Richard for any more time than what he already gave us so we did it in the booth as opposed to a quiet park where I took Jenna. Now about 2:13, I guess you are referring to her lines there... those were little last minute "inserts". The "Oh! Matt.." wasn't performed on shooting day but added in an attempt to smooth out the transition. Unfortunately... that was in the booth... HOWEVER... there was a hole lot of other stuff recorded in the booth which you didn't point out... maybe cause it would have made your post 3 pages long, lol... I need to put something on the ceiling... right now it is completely bare...
 
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The best advice I could give you is to find another actor to replace the groundskeeper guy. It was very hard to watch because of him.
 
yea that guy was not too good, lol. i was waiting to see if anybody else would comment.

yea, i did not list every sound issue like i said i was trying to see where the story was going after the most obvious stuff.

if this is your first short i'd say just do the best you can and move on to the next project. i made a ton of mistakes on my first short. i learned A LOT though. take that new knowledge and apply it to the next project.
 
tommyinla said:
The best advice I could give you is to find another actor to replace the groundskeeper guy. It was very hard to watch because of him.
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FilmBoy77 said:
yea that guy was not too good, lol. i was waiting to see if anybody else would comment.
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EDITED:

Feel free to say anything you'd like.


FilmBoy77 said:
yea, i did not list every sound issue like i said i was trying to see where the story was going after the most obvious stuff.

if this is your first short i'd say just do the best you can and move on to the next project. i made a ton of mistakes on my first short. i learned A LOT though. take that new knowledge and apply it to the next project.
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Yea I think I should move on right now but I don't want to leave everyone with a POS... I have to somehow get monitors and set the levels right, then build up the sound design to hide the ARD a bit more, like you suggested. Then I think I can move on... but we might still do some re-shoots which might help the film a lot... I'll be happy to continue to work on it from time to time till I need the space. That's why I am asking for ideas on how to make it better technically and maybe even help the story line a bit.
 
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since you are going to do reshoots possibly maybe get the wind protection and just use your shotgun mic. take all that adr out. that way at least you'll get "some" natural bg noise.

did they charge you anything for walking into that shop and filming?
 
Unless it is uber quiet I will most definitely use the shotgun, and the wind protection will always be on when out doors from now on. Yes.

I didn't do all locations for us but when the candy shop we had was in Santa Monica and we were still needing the lunch location I went over to a strip down the street and asked two or three doors apart from each other. They both said yes. We were able to shoot both of those for free and still got a half day in the bridge. I did promise them DVDs though.
 
hey I added the DVD surface I just came up with, please feel free to give pointers on that one too!

I'll put up the sleeve when I get to making one
 
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