Rough cut Scene from Bottom Feeder

That was really good. Good lead actor. Reminds me of the early 1990's-era mob films.

One teeny tiny suggestion...I'd cut it shorter when the contractor walks out of the tailor's shop. You have a sitting camera and a guy walking through a door. I understand it's a rough cut, and will probably go into another scene, so I'd say cut scene soon after he turns around.

EDIT - I've been watching this again, and I really really like it. I like the mirrors, lighting, Focus shift (but I'm a big fan of the focus shifting in movies myself). I especially love your lead. I want to see more of him, I want to see this film.

Couple of questions - Did you record audio straight into the HVX? I hear (pun intended) it has great preamps.
 
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Nice work on the lighting Aram, and the shots looked good.. acting was pretty good too! Wish I could see a wider master shot.
 
Nice job. Good performances too.

For me, the profile shot on your lead doesn't work when he's in dialogue with the guy over his shoulder. It's too confusing. It's great as a deep two when he interacts with the man in the hat though.

Personally, I think it can play in the mirror as is. Why do you choose to cut? What is the motivation?

Do you have a single of the guy behind your lead, but shot in the mirror? That would work. And as above, a master shot would get you out of all sort of trouble.

All that said - nice work!
 
Very nice
A little bit over done with the focus change person to person D.O.F. 35mm adapter if you ask me.
 
That was pretty cool...
I thought that the mirror shots were very cool and interesting...
The only drawback is the DOF looked very distracting... HOWEVER there was a particular shot where it looked very cool... but in some it was probably unnecessary...
Other than that everything looks great! I mean, once the audio is tight and final everything should be seemless...
Great job... and the actors look very f***in' authenthic... jaja
 
Thanks guys, keep the comments coming. They are definitely helping and being noted.
I am not actually editing this myself, at least not yet though I've been asked for sit down about it.
I thought the racking back and forth was distracting also. I also thought that first shot of the mirrored over the shoulder held for too long compared to the cutting later in the scene.
I think that mirror shot with all the actors in it was the widest. That scene was HARD AS HELL to light because almost every part of the room was shown in them. I had to hide the light stands in the seams of the mirrors.
I think most of the scenes the acting was tight except for one where theres a robbery of a social club. The 2 robbing the place just didn't sell it from what I saw in the dailies.
Hope to have some more scenes and another cut of this one. The editor lurks here so all comments are taken seriously. :)

Thanks again for giving your inputs.
 
Lighting's nice and intimate. It looks like the store is open after hours for a special mob arrangement.

You're right about the mirrors. The first mirror shot of the bald guy seems abrupt. "Pretty good Frank." Does he walk into that frame in the raw footage? I would try cutting to that shot as he enters the frame (even if just a little bit) because I suspect the reflection on the right would be seen first. As it is, you look at the wrong reflection because the bald man was on the left side of the frame in the previous shot.
 
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Yeah, thats exactly whats happening. The store is open at night just for that guy. Thats another glitch in the edit, he goes from walking to standing still in the cut. I mentioned that also. Yeah, seems like it needs a cut away to something to take away that him walking up on the right and being on the left in the mirror. Maybe flipping the image in post will fix that.
 
The choice of angles on this really distracted from the piece. The better master shot would have been the first one over Frank's right shoulder from where the mirror would have been.

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This becomes the master as Wayne settles in behind Frank.


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This is your reverse angle where Mike's dialogue gets its coverage.

Only when Wayne hears that he's on the hook for Frank's cut should you go to the mirror. That's when he's caught off-guard and then the disorientation makes sense.

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As has been stated, the rack focus is over done here to the point of distraction. In my mind, it's better to let the key dialogue points breathe for the viewer, with the contributing character held in focus, even if it means a quick supporting dialogue bit going without a focus change to support it.

The lighting is excellent and the actors do a fine job. I bet you have enough coverage to get this sorted. Good luck.

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Focus shift needs to be smoother. Too jerky right now. Agree with other comments about length of exit.
 
At first I thought the acting in this was not that great, but then I talked it over with someone who another perspective on it, and I think he is right.

I think you can help the actors out some here, by giving this a little room to breath. Alter the tempo, the pauses, use the cuts and the timing to build up the tension some, give the situation some weight. This seems like a big deal to the guy owing the money. Let us see more of that. Who's scene is it?

Right now, it looks to me like the main mafia dude is just playing one note all the way through, and it looks like he has two hand gestures. And we don't get much of a chance to see how this stuff is falling on the guy it's affecting - the dude who owes the money.

And yeah, the rack focus stuff looks a little amateurish, like the camera guy just got the adapter and couldn't wait to use it. Nor are the actors far enough away from one another to make the effect work. If I were going to keep it, I would keep it in one very specific spot, like when he says "75 grand" Then rack to the other guy for his reaction. Otherwise, I would ditch pretty much all of that.

Do you have more coverage of the guy who owes the money? I think you can use that to help build up some tension.

Also, if this is the guy who owe's scene, I might change the perspective of the entrance. Right now, he is entering their scene. If it is supposed to be more about him, I might switch that up and approach the opening more from his POV walking into this lion's den and not sure what to expect...
 
From filmmaking perspective it looks all great except the establishing shot. It's the begining of the clip and in those few seconds i'm waiting for the clip to load i see the most normall intro to a scene on face of the planet -- thus i right away "assume" that you are a b-level filmmaker with no real ideas of your own (which again might only be an assumption -- especially since the scene is pretty cool covered in an unorthodox way, but it's there all thanks to that opening shot).
 
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Great shots, i think i saw some interlace when i paused it, on fast hand movement....what was your shutter man?
 
Patryk_Rebisz said:
From filmmaking perspective it looks all great except the establishing shot. It's the begining of the clip and in those few seconds i'm waiting for the clip to load i see the most normall intro to a scene on face of the planet -- thus i right away "assume" that you are a b-level filmmaker with no real ideas of your own (which again might only be an assumption -- especially since the scene is pretty cool covered in an unorthodox way, but it's there all thanks to that opening shot).
Click to expand...

a nice wide shot would have been nice for the first shot. See some lamp posts, and the sidewalk, and some store, and that THIS store dead on, right in the middle of the frame
 
Those are interesting points. The editor lurks here and I'm sure he will take note on those ideas. I don't know if there is enough coverage for longer holds or not. I spoke to him today and he did make some changes to the edit since I posted this that I haven't seen yet.

This guy did most of the sound. http://www.marquedewinter.com/
Not sure what he used in this film but on other shoots I have been on with him he uses these tiny Lectrosonics.
 
are you the DP for this? for some reason i assumed you just did the lighting from the time you posted the still shots.
 
No I didn't DP this. I just did the lighting but now friends with most of the crew and work with them on other jobs. I will probably start editing some scenes to help with the work load also.
 
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