Spec Commercial for Robbins Bros. Jeweler

Well.... it's funny.
BUT - i'm not sure that's what most companies would want in their commercials.
It's one thing to insinuate something - but you really went all out with it.

Don't get me wrong - the idea behind it is good - I like the tagline.
But the subject matter might be a bit too much for a commercial.
Generally - i'd try to stay away from full on taboo subjects in an ad - at least this blatantly.

just my 2 cents.

But other than that one aspect of it - good job.
 
Thanks Luis. I agree. This is definitely more of a European type commercial. Our goal was what kind of girl would you not want to date. Luckily for us this could be used for a short skit as well. Mucho aprecio for the feedback.
 
No problem - and that's exactly what I was getting at - I like the concept, the "you have to find the girl" idea leaves you open for a full campaign of really funny situations.
 
Sorry, but this is just lame. I mean, it's soooooooo overused, it really doesn't get a surprise reaction, or "how unexpected" or anything. I mean, it was even used in the movie Borat, when Borat introduces a woman whom he kisses passionately, and then announces "she's my sister" - and Borat was a huge hit, seen by anyone who keeps up on popular culture. Now, not only was the idea not original, but the execution wasn't done well either - it was actually done better in Borat... here, she starts kissing her brother in a totally implausible way - I mean, she wouldn't do that as "goodbye"... in Borat, you really get a shock because it's done the other way around, you have an expectation which is upended with a new piece of info "she's my sister", here, you merely get squigged out by the action. Lame, lame, lame from every point of view.

Try for some original ideas. And then express them correctly so you get the effect you're looking for. As is, this thing sucks from every point of view.
 
I'm all for constructive criticism - but I think that "this thing sucks from every point of view" is a bit over the line.
Many of your points are valid - but I don't see any reason to be so derogatory.
 
"...It was even used in the movie Borat." Does qualify as a solid example of the gag being used before. However, comparison doesn't does not really explain what you think could be done to improve it, unless, of course, you either do not think it can be improved or just lack the ability to give constructive criticism. It's not always an easy task.
 
Luis Caffesse said:
I'm all for constructive criticism - but I think that "this thing sucks from every point of view" is a bit over the line.
Many of your points are valid - but I don't see any reason to be so derogatory.
Click to expand...

It is not derogatory, the quote is accurate - this sucked from every point of view. To say less would be to sugarcoat it. That's my opinion. It may not be your opinion, but then, you get to state yours and I get to state mine - that's how it works.

chanpanzee wrote:

"However, comparison doesn't does not really explain what you think could be done to improve it, unless, of course, you either do not think it can be improved or just lack the ability to give constructive criticism."

I'm suggesting the gag is played out, and for you to come up with a new one, preferably one that has not been memorably used in a recent massive blockbuster - common sense really.

Also, don't confuse "suggestions for improvement" with "constructive criticism" - if someone merely confines oneself to pointing out what's wrong, this constitutes entirely constructive criticism all by itself. It's not necessary for the critic to do the homework the artist should do himself, for the criticism to qualify as "constructive". A mark of a true artist is to glean value from criticism in every form, and not shrink from it. And MOST CERTAINLY NOT TO SNARK at the critic for providing feedback - only a worthless hack with a fragile ego would do that - now you wouldn't do such a stupid thing, riiiight?

Back to the drawing board.
 
chanpanzee said:
I hardly consider "suck[ing] from every point of view." As a criticism. So much a juvenile opinion.
Click to expand...

Way to quote out of context. I provided other criticism, as well as a specific discussion of the mechanism behind the gag in question. I ended it all with the quote you cited, which I consider very accurate given that what you produced was of no artistic value whatsoever. That's actually a piece of information - that you should start over again, back to the drawing board, as there is NOTHING of artistic value to be rescued from your work.

However, by your response, I see you're not capable of dealing with criticism. That is a very bad sign indeed for an artist. I gave you a shot at redeeming yourself from your first response to me, and you merely confirmed the worst about yourself. You can have the last word - I will not waste any more time on you.
 
yeah while I dont agree 100% with oldCorpse he's got some points and it is free advice - take it or leave it, but dont complain about it when you asked for it. Someone says something you dont like, say "thanks" and move on.
 
Fair enough -
For the record, as I stated originally - I do think he has many valid points.
I wasn't disagreeing with the message - just with the way it was delivered.
Deragatory and accurate are not mutually exclusive.
That's all I was saying.
 
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