Sea Shanty Films presents: BAILEY

I liked the writing, overall story of this film. The aspect that most impressed me was the tone; the film felt at times to be 'experimental', more like an 'art' film. I like the quick cuts to the hallway, the extreme close-ups, the composition of the faces in the first minute of the film.

I think you've got a good eye for composition and I get the feeling you know how to tell stories visually. In my opinion, there was perhaps too much dialogue and it took away some of the visual options for you to tell a story. I mean that in a positive way because in the beginning of the film, things are extremely visual, same with the end, very visual storytellling, but the middle seemed to fall more into the conversations between the characters. You've got a great eye for composition! Use it more to tell your stories.:thumbup:
 
REVIEW: BAILEY

Ahhhhh third. This one worked on most levels. I totally got it, I totally knew where it was coming from and where it wanted to go. Bailey made sense.

It felt visually abstract and almost haunting from the get-go. Was the first thing I thought and was later validated by the child's hand near the end. I think, for what you were trying to pull off, you made rather unique choices that didn't detract from your theme and story. I know that the visuals of the eyes, shoes, and weapon in the beginning were things that elevated the dialogue.

I also liked shot-choices. Again, in an abstract realm, they add to the story instead of taking away from it what you're looking to convey. That goes right down to the toys scattered on the floor and your final shot.

S'where we get to the content! I had no problems understanding what was going on here, and could easily discern the issues your lead male seemed to have. I feel like the verbal exposition was pushy during the explaination of what the criminal did to the younger girls on this bad day out. I know that there might've been a need for those lines, but was there any specific reasoning behind them? Like, why did you choose that subject instead of another? I'd like to know. Dialogue wasn't bad, might've benefited from polishing-- specifically
during the afformentioned exposition.

There's also something odd about the execution, but not wrong or incorrect. The piece is sliced into flashbacks of the hostage situation and the son's living moments. If you were going for something like "reflection", then I totally get it. The moments being separated like that almost seems to melt the glue keeping everything together.

Speaking of those flashbacks, though, I liked the toy in the hall scene. Best frame of the entire short. Felt like something was missing, and that worked well.

Odd note: Did you ever notice that your leading male seemed to have this spot-light on himself the entire time? While your female character's face wasn't as blown-out. Was that a concious choice? I don't think it's bad, I just kind of noticed it.

Nice job, though! Thanks for exhibiting!
 
I'm having a nightmare trying to view anything on my computer at home - - some kind of battling versions of QuickTime which demand to be updated, seem to update, and then do bizarre things: great audio, no video...then no audio or video. Am about to completely wipe out everything of QT and get a fresh download. So I haven't been commenting but am DYING to see all these films!!

Thanks everyone for such great comments so far. GeoffR - you definitely honed in on one of the things we struggled with about the middle third. I think we tried to find a middle ground b/t "art/experimental" storytelling and letting the characters act a bit more like real people. Not sure if that middle ground exists...

Quick answer to Kholi's question re: why we picked this subject (the girls) - - the inspiration for the project was a real event that played out very close to what our Eric describes. And I think I understand what you mean by "reflection"...so yes, that;s what we were aiming for - - though it sounds like our execution might have created too much disjoint for such a short film.

Kills me to only post replies on our own stuff without being able to return the honor y'all are granting us with your feedback...but I'll be in the mix ASAP.
 
Good job tex,
Specially liked the back and forth of the story...
I totally got it...
The initial conversation was great but very low background score would have been a help. but it also depends how u wanted to show... few angles were great.... overall learned a lot

thanks
sandeep
 
I liked this film, lots of back and forth, flashbacks, especially liked the eyes in the beginning. and the constant sound of the rain throughout, nice one.
It kept me interested all the way through.

Thank you.
 
This story needs to be tackled by a crew with more experience. It is too demanding both technically and emotionally for less than exceptionally strong actors and direction. I laud your intention and your efforts, but this one (in my opinion) was a bit of a reach for you.
 
Reviewing "Bailey"

The opening was sweet! I was into it... well done.

Your actors have a strong presence in front of the camera... Their buddy language was good; for me, it was the emphasis on how they delivered their lines that did not fully support the drama you are trying to accomplish here.

I like how you used "emotional symbol bites" to try to engage the audience into a more intimate response to the story by introducing the image of the kids and the toy in the hallway.

The style of moving your story from tight close-ups at the beginning and carring the story with wider shots as the story developed until the end with a wide shot.. was well thought out... those details are not the most obvious ones to notice and you did a good job it... as well as with the cinematography in whole.

The music was my least favorite part of the story. Although I loved the sound of the rain.

Overall I think your short film was well done and I enjoyed it. :)

Cheers,
 
Review: Bailey

Review: Bailey

After watching your movie, i felt like sharing some of my thoughts:

I must say that the movie by itself is good. These were, i thought, some of the goods and bads:

Performances, direction, editing, camera work: good

Music, screenplay: not good

I think if you had chosen a good screenplay you would have turned it into a great film... and you would have had a very good chance of winning.

Again, nothing personal... these are merely my thoughts.
 
After complete uninstall and system tweaking + new install of iTunes/QT 7 + more tweaking...Now downloading all of these films!

Thanks to all who've commented. It's so tempting to ask for specifics ("What technical and emotional aspects did these actors not nail? Specific points of criticism on the screenplay?") - - but then you can't expect everyone to spend much time getting ultra-specific...and then I see other comments highlighting the same things as strengths!

What a bizarre (possibly unique?) experience to have people's relatively immediate reactions delivered in the "no social buffers" online medium. Very exciting, very invigorating, very, very cool. For about the 1,000th time - thanks to all who set this up and contribute.

My comments coming now on the few I've watched.
 
As is the case with so many productions at most of our level of filmmaking, our actors are who we can get. I have seen first hand the response of parents who loose children and of emergency personell after tragedies. I never really felt they (your actors) had lost their child or he had been involved in a school shooting. There were several well done scenes and the rain on the porch worked well, but I really think this is a story you should come back to in a few years and remake it.
Please don't take this as a slam, it's not meant to be.
 
Impressions for Tex :

Promising opening, and then comes the campy dialogue and delivery.

Opening - Sorta’ disconcerting in a bad way. If you want to use ECU’s for a two shot conversation “exclusively” then they better be a) damn artistic b) earned with story c) thematically grounded in necessity. IMO, the opening didn’t adhere to any of that. Trying to create tension through ECU, CU, is oft times a false economy (if you shoot to much of the flick that way). You’re obviously going for a sense of immediacy at the beginning and then using MS, WS at the denouement to signal a resolution. That’s cool, and a unique approach, but because it’s sort of freaky at the beginning ; you could lose your audience before you get to the payoff.

Liked the reflection of the beer glass, and mirror composition.

More snap zooms. Sure ain’t afraid of inserts; I admire that.

Acting was… coulda’ been better. I know we have limited contacts and resources but it really is something that will set your short apart from the rest.

Shot of the hall with the boy in it is fantastic. … sun pouring through. All good.

Using the ambient noise in the hall was too transparently a way of inserting mood (Lynch does it all the time). Whereas, you did it so often and beside a quiet scene, that the effect seemed bad sound design rather than a subtle undercurrent to the story. Either turning it down a wee bit, or admixing a complimentary opposite tone in the quiet scenes ?

The flute. Hmm, I expected a flute player to pop out of the closet. Not my cup o tea, but it’s your flick.


Even though this plot/scene/story has been done many times before, you did pick a subject/scene that has an arc and can be fit nicely into the time frame. Good show.

I think there’s an artist directing here, in search of the right actors and material.







:beer:
 
Music

Music

RomanJaquez said:
Reviewing "Bailey"

The music was my least favorite part of the story. Although I loved the sound of the rain.

Overall I think your short film was well done and I enjoyed it. :)

Cheers,
Click to expand...

The music is actually the final section o f a longer piece...We like the music and think it fits with the film - - but based on a few of the comments I think we might need to revise what we do with it.

Maybe we should start with the low cello note to make the transition easier and kind of "prepare" for the flute entrance. We'll need to "Soundtrack" a longer solo cello note and loop it onto the front of the cue (part of the problem is that the music was not written specifically for the film).

Thanks - comments here definitely help us recognize possible blind spots and even suggest ways to fix them (or at least improve).
 
FunkyShaman said:
what's up with that guy in the production still, is the color off in the image or does that guy have blue hair?!?! You indy guys will let just about anyone onto your set won't ya'?!?!
Click to expand...

Yeah, sometimes you just have to take any help you can:)
 
World-class filmmaking. My only complaint: focus could've been sharper. Otherwise, this movie is beyond great. :thumbup: :thumbup:
 
Paul,

Thanks for the Awesome review.

The "focus" issue you're finding might be related to the video compression. I know it smoothed the image out considerably compaired to the original. That being said there is a rack focus shot where we're following "Sarah" stepping away from the mirror. We had her in focus at point A and B but we just loose her in between.
 
Sorry guys, but the acting here was bad soap opera. The music totally played into that image. You set us up for a story then never delivered. It actually sounded like your Eric character was reading his line. Poor acting will break the illusion quicker than anything.

You didn't give me enough information to care about anyone here and since the story was not very well established, the result was waiting to see if anything happened...and it didn't.
 
I haven't really watched soap operas, but your comments lead me to wonder how often you hear a fairly angular solo flute line played over a pedal point cello in your average soap opera. I'm guessing not often, so that makes me wonder about the accuracy and thoughtfulness of your other assessments, too.

Any suggestions on what extra information we should have given to better establish the story and provoke an emotional response?
 
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