What the **** is wrong with my movies

S

shadow_dog_dx

Active member
Hey i'm 17 and have been making heaps of movies lately for short flm festivals and basically the last 6 or so movies I have made have not been finalists.
Here is the latest movie I made and for some reason this one didnt make it into a film festival of 18 years and under. Can someoen please tell me wat the **** i am doing wrong here cuz i seriously feel like giving up. cause its soo much effort not jst for me but the acotrs as well who obviously dont get paid.
Please help,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rQSIcYVLnE
Ps:filmed on DVX 100a
 
I think some of the issue here is the acting. It doesn't feel natural. I think you have soom good shots in there, but the acting really has to be dead on. Also, not sure if it was the compression, but the audio was not great. I am just starting out as well. Actually getting my DVX100B delivered to me tomorrow. I film weddings professionally and decided I wanted to start to make short fims. For 17 years old though you have got some definite skill. Keep it up.
 
Hey i'm 16 this year. You shouldnt be discouraged - filmmaking is all about persistence. In Singapore where I'm at, we've got bigger problems - namely the fact that its technically illegal to film the subject matter that we do(action films) since guns and all are banned. However we persevered and came up with this: http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=76865

Your film wasn't all bad, and to be honest I've seen much much worse. You've definitely got something, and you just have to push forward. Obvious acting issues aside (hey it plagues us all...), there were some nice shots in there
 
i think moviemaking in terms of technicality just gets better as you get older. it's just how it works.

with that said, you lost me when the boys came out sitting on the bench. It doesn't matter if its part of the story. They could at least still be doing something. Just bored me to death watching them sit and talk. And when the limping guy arrived, starts talking about the plan, I'm just losing my mind at this point because, it's not the acting that bothered me but the delivery of the material.

I'm not too sure about that "first-person camera getting punched" scene. You might've had a better effect just rattling the camera for that.

Those gunshots were corny too. This, being a dramatic story, should hold back and use emotions to move the story forward. I know you probably wanted a gunshot so you had to put it in, but you could've made the story much better using the tension that arises from someone holding a gun to your face. If you had spent a bit more time on the seriousness of it, all of us would've had a much better time viewing it.

overall, the feel of everything is awkward. lots of deadspots- doesnt pace well. You would think that you might've done something purposefully but you should always rethink your movie in terms of how fast an audience might pick up on things or rather if they should stay interested. I'm just offering my two cents in hopes that you, still being young, would pick up on these things at an earlier age. So you would only become better, faster.

but good job on it. for 16 year old, this is HUGE! Looks like you've worked hard on it. it only gets better.
 
I just watched a few minutes.. You could improve the editing simply by tightening the pauses after dialogue. For instance.. one guy said "Hey look, there's smitty.." and then you left about a second pause after that before you actually made the cut to Smitty. It sort of lets whatever acting problems there are hang dead in the air like a fart. Try cutting the picture so we see Smitty as the character on the bench is saying 'smitty'. Get rid of any pauses in the conversations, and cut freely to B-roll of the other characters reacting to what someone is saying. Right now the editing style is only serving to isolate the characters..
 
I think you may be trying to tell a much bigger story than you can accomplish with your resources. Start by learning how to get a single scene right. You need to learn how to pick and direct your talent, how to get a believable performance out of them, how the camera should be placed and how and when it needs to move.

Picking locations, learning how to light and cut your light are all things that take years to get good at.

A suggestion would be to look at any film that you like and dissect a single scene completely. Really understand it from all aspects of the craft. Then take the time to emulate that scene at every level that you can. Compare your results to the original and see, what you did well and what you didn't then try again. Once you can shoot a single scene and get it nailed, you can move on to a different type of one and start the process all over again. After many years of this, you will have added to your filmmaking abilities immensely.
 
I'd say acting is your fallacy. When youre using ameteur talents (Haha how oxymoronic), they don't really act that well.

I'm also a 17 year old filmmaker and I must say that people have told me acting in my movies suck too so don't worry - It'll develop over time when you rise up. What you need to do is develop a speciality. If your actors can't act, do a film that has lesss dialogue and more action (Which is what we try to do). If you don't have a set but a strong actor, do a simple film on character depth. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, play on your strengths. Because you're young, people won't expect you to be perfect on EVERYTHING. So just identify what your weaknesses and strengths are and move on from there capitalizing on it.

It took be about a year before I even got my first festival. After that, it was a year without anything before getting another one this year. So take heart. Its a long, drawn out process in which you'll probably be VERY tempted to give up (I have been), but dont! Just keep at it and you'll be there... Someday... Its only a matter of time I think (:
 
I think most people have covered the technical issues...sound, acting and editing.

At 17, you definitely have a reason to keep on going, but just know that even in the best of times there will be things that will be discouraging. Always. No matter what level you achieve.

I know when I was 17 I hated to hear it, but you're just 17. I thought I had it all figured out when I went to film school and am just now realizing in my mid-thirties what I really want to say and how I want to say it.

Don't be in too much of a hurry to define your own style, but don't really try and mimic other people's style either. Let it happen more organically if that makes any sense.

Take heart and go to college, if only to embed yourself in the drama department, so that you can find those actors that can make production a bit easier and cleaner in the future.

Good luck and keep at it.
 
kmuse just said something smart. think of a single scene instead of your whole mini film.

Here's my comments:

1) Your short isn't very short. 8 minutes is long. (some shorts are 30 seconds and entertaining as hell)

2) I, and I bet most other people, don't care about your characters. Why? Because you don't give us a reason too. That's one of the biggest things. Show why they need money. And if you think you did show it, you're wrong. You told us. Expert filmmakers and screen writers tell us, SHOW don't TELL us. Telling (talking) is BORING. It will make people fast forward your movie. Show why the kid needs money for his mom. Then we might care about his plight because people can relate. We want to take care of our mothers.

3) Don't make your dialouge so obvious. People don't talk in question & answers. True dialouge is really just people giving their opinions. People aren't robots. Our minds are much more clever than that.

4) Good films are best in what they leave OUT. Leave some to the imagination.

Keep it up. I respect your ambition.

One last question: Why do you want approval so bad? (from the festivals) Do you need them to tell you you're good?

Some directors won't accept awards. Just wondering why you wanted approval so bad..

-Murf
 
Coming from a roughly similar background, I think we're at an age where recognition is important. People our level are out there winnning trophies for football and hitting homeruns for base ball... I suppose on a deeper level we seek the same thing... I guess its just an innate and intristic desire for some sort of reward for our labors. Needless to say, making films isn't esay and I doubt any of us can tolerate be starving artists forever.
 
Every time I try to make a film for a certain contest, festival etc. it turns out like crap. The two films I have made that went into festivals are ones I did just for me. Just for the art of making a cool film that I had a personal bond with. I find that if you goal is to do it to impress others or be accepted the soul comes out of it.
 
BLT said:
Coming from a roughly similar background, I think we're at an age where recognition is important. People our level are out there winnning trophies for football and hitting homeruns for base ball... I suppose on a deeper level we seek the same thing... I guess its just an innate and intristic desire for some sort of reward for our labors. Needless to say, making films isn't esay and I doubt any of us can tolerate be starving artists forever.
Click to expand...

That's an honest view of youth, but keep this in mind. For all the people that will be winning trophies and such very few will ever lead to a career and even after that it doesn't have much longevity.

Imagine being passionate about football and being a super star and then having to retire at 35 years old with a 75 year life expectancy. Doesn't sound to fun to me.

Filmmakers, architects and artists may take a bit more time to take hold, but we don't have to retire, we just go until we die.
 
I don't know. A very boring movie. I don't really see any creativity in this short, some people are just born to be creative and some people are just not. Just because you have a great camcorder does not mean you'll make it big in film festivals. I just think you need more creativity thats all
 
I haven't watched the film, but without doing so the biggest hurdle you seem to face is your expectations. If you expect praise and critical acclaim for every project you do you should re- evaluate your goals or stop making movies. Your only 17 years old. I started when I was 13 and didn't make anything worth a damn until I was at least 20. I learned to appreciate my work as an ongoing learning experience and by the time I did make something worth a damn I had no need for praise.

That being said, a lot of criticism on this thread is directed towards the acting. So here's my advice. Write roles based around the personalities of your amateur actors. It's much easier for a person to play a character that more closely resembles themself.

To paraphrase Martin Scorsese:

"You don't make films because you want to. You make films because you have to. You have no choice"
 
Well, hopefully i can put this in a more crictically constructive way than some of the people that posted ahead of me. But, well see how that goes.

Acting, as mentioned before, has some to do with it, however i definitely think that the dialogue really leaves no room for letting the actors act. You really seem to push every action, with every chacarcter by your dialogue.

In working with a medium that mixes audio and visual, you have to decide what needs to be heard and what needs to be seen.

Why do we need to be told that they have no money, that the car needs to be fixed? You throw in a small montage of drugs and girls on slides, why not cut out the begining conversation, and have the dude that knows of the score find these people trying to fix their car, or hustling the streets for money.

It annoys the hell out of people when things are introduced but not used. The audience likes to be smart and figure stuff out, so when someone's limping they want to know what that will mean. If the house is deserted except for the maid, the audience wants to see the maid later.

"its 11, we're late, we should get up, and then we should pick up the people at the bus stop, ok lets go" - is all that needed? We're not watching the movie to hear them talk about what they should be doing? What about alarm rings, guy looks at clock, yells 'oh ****', jumps up out of bed, starts frantically pulling on clothes, pulls his freind out bed, 'put your **** on' and pulls him out the door, cut to car slaming on the breaks infront of the bus stop.

You don't need to pound these things into your audience's head with dialogue, they'll get it trust me.

this works for emotions too. 'i've got a bad feeling about this mate' having an actor sit there and state that is boooring. Howbout a nice tight shot of the dude's face emoting how he feels about the situation through expression.

I really don't want you to take this like im being an asshole, just direct. Please keep these words in mind and watch through your film again listening to what your characters are saying, what is nessesary, and just remember that for your next film.

ps. crush your drugs up more, too chuncky i'd never snort that.
 
Tibby said:
That being said, a lot of criticism on this thread is directed towards the acting. So here's my advice. Write roles based around the personalities of your amateur actors. It's much easier for a person to play a character that more closely resembles themself.
Click to expand...

I'm going to have to disagree with this one. I believe in pick an actor for the part they can play, not for the part they resemble. When an actor knows that a part resembles themself (and trust me, they'll know) they will begin to feel that they know the character through out (besides who's better to know someone than themselves), however there will come a time when your interpretation will differ than the actor's interpretation, and will argue that that isn't the character's correct motivation. In other words if at any point you have the character act in any way other than the actor see's himself, than he's going to become beligerent.

just my two cents.
 
Wow dudes! thanks heaps for the critisizms keep em coming.
I'm actually seeing exactly how hepas of the things i coulve made better now.
thanks alot and epsilonblass thanx alot your words have been especially helpful
 
just keep going, I wish I started film at your age...I just started about 1 1/2 years or so ago and im already 25...26 soon lol. I feel like I have so much catching up to do but you still have a lot of time on your hands. Its good you are getting projects done. Just have patience and hone your skills. Trial and error, trial and error.

AS for your short film, sorry to say but it was quite boring. it can use a lot of work but dont get discouraged...you are young and I applaud you for completing a project at your age. When I was your age all I did was goof around. You still have a lot of time to learn and hone your skill.

try replicating a scene from one of your favorite movies. Pay attention to a lot of details they incorporate...like perhaps insert shots on hands or what not. Try to find out what makes that scene so interesting. Then you can see what you can do in your own projects.

Well, I hope I helped in some way...

***edit***

DOH! KHmuse already said what I said lol. oh well the more the merrier eh? Oh and Khmuse said it better lol.
 
The best advice I've ever received as a writer was this: You have a guy breaking up with a girl at a restaurant. Write that scene. Oh, but don't use dialogue.

You quickly find out that almost every scene can be accomplished without dialogue if you have enough imagination. Approach each scene like that. That's not to say 'never use dialogue', lol, but see if you can first accomplish the scene with as little as possible.
 
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