My daughter spoke

...having a child makes it seem possible to make a feature film every day compared to what it takes to raise a child.
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Man, I fully believe that. So let me avoid it for a few more decades.:Drogar-Smoke(DBG): :Drogar-BlackEye(DBG
 
rlm7189 said:
I'm confused. Your post made me want to have children and simultaneously off myself.
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Exactly. :) Now, you know what it is really like. If you're ready for that kind of emotion then you're probably ready to have a kid.

All kidding aside. It really is wonderful and hard all at the same time. i don't think it can be any other way.

You find this little creature that you can love like no other love you've ever know and then you can't sleep at night because you have to sneek in every hour with a flashlight to make sure they're OK and that the blanket isn't up over their heads, etc. So, you're in love, but you're tired.

Sometimes you want to go out and shoot some footage or a project, but you can't because the baby's teething and you need to back up your wife. So, you're dreams take a back seat...and then you start to dream about entirely different and wonderful things.

Here's a story that is the NUTSHELL of having kids and being a filmmaker....

I put about $3k into prepping my short for the Horrofest. i shot on the 9th of September so I would have plenty of time to complete it. I was even shooting HD for the first time, which was pretty exciting.

I shot in my house because it has a very cool look to it, which meant that for two days I sent my wife and baby off to a spa with my mother-in-law so that we could shoot at night and have run of the house. I even sent the dogs to a kenel.

The first night was the typical good and bad of shooting as well as getting used to new technologies. Oh well, there was another night. Two hours into the second night of shooting I get a call that my son and wife are in the emergency room. he has a 104.5 fever and is in the middle of a bunch of tests. They will call me back.

so here I am with cash invested, the house turned upside down and a bunch of people counting on me to lead them and finish a project that they had invest themselve in. Some even came from out of town. My dream is to make films. It burns my mind at night, yet all I could feel was despair over not being in the emergency room at that exact moment.

My wife told me to stay put and wait to see if she needed me, but all i wanted to do was close up shop and go to him. I wouldn't be able to finish and I wouldn't be able to get everybody back again in time to get the film done...yet the funny thing is that I didn't care.

I would have given up all my film dreams to have him transported to his crib with no fever and a smile on his face....and I wouldn't have regretted it for a second.

Ultimately, after about five hours of torture and some good and bad momentum I go the call that he was going to be OK , but had been poked and prodded until he cried himself to sleep. The night was shot and we had worked all night to get all we could.

I knew that we had not gotten enough footage to finish the film, but I didn't care because my son was OK.

In the couple of months since the shoot everything has changed in the way I approach my career and dreams. I still have my hopes and dreams, but they're just a bit different and more calm and reasonable. Before I was so desperate to get my second feature done and get some good traction going, but now I'm letting things happen a bit more organically.

Now, I can finally slow down a bit and enjoy what I've been doing and I owe it all to this little guy that is gives back two years of living for every one that he takes away.

i'm sorry to go on and give such mixed signals, but that's what parenting does to everbody I know that has kids and is willing to be honest about their feelings.

Was it the Army that had the slogan, "the toughest job you'll ever love"?

Believe me it's SOOOO tough, but I'm SOOOOOOOO in love it's not even funny.

Good luck,

Jason

PS. if you want to see the upside check out www.francoiskids.com and you'll get an idea why it's worth the pain. :)

PSS-We just found out that we're having our second child in March. A girl. I'm beyond happy, but I'm also beyond happy that she will be the last. Shti, there I go again with the mixed signals. :)
 
insanityfw said:
PSS-We just found out that we're having our second child in March. A girl. I'm beyond happy, but I'm also beyond happy that she will be the last. Shti, there I go again with the mixed signals. :)
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Congratualtions. :):):) :beer:

- Mikko
 
Getting married and having kids are two times in your life you may regret every other day. But, unlike a wife, you can't just divorce your kids. Get a dog, keep your sanity.
 
Ramjet1979 said:
I am sitting here in the room across from my daughter, and she keeps looking at me going "da-da, da-da, da-da."

Awesome. She has been saying that a lot lately, but I just figured it was babble. But, now I'm almost confinced she is saying it to me. She is 7 months old.

...Oh, wait she just called a stuffed bunny da-da, too.

Darn

Jason
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Do you know the number for poison control yet? Save it on speed dial. As a father of a three year old girl I must tell you, as you will soon realize, there is no such thing as childproof. Only adultproof.
 
Wow. Some interesting posts here. I am glad I posted this. It's nice to see that people are family men too, and what not.

When I was younger, I used to think that I had to be this brooding, introverted, lonely, suffering actor, that would never be able to fulfill anothers emotional needs.

Now, married with a baby....

But it's great. I guess I was wrong.

I did always say that if I was more emotionally balanced, that I thought I would have better and fuller access to my emotional facilities as an actor. I think I was right about that, though.

Well, anyways. So far, no horror stories here. We have gotten very lucky. She sleeps through the night. She is happy almost all the time. And my father always wanted a daughter, so now my parents help us out a lot :)

And being married and having responsibility has great emotional challenges connected to it, and as a result, great opportunity for growth and life experience.

Jason
 
Oh... you want horror stories? Got a buttload of them too. Like the time my oldest boy, I think he was maybe 5-6 at the time, was in a Sunday school class. The teacher was talking about bad words. James stood up and announced at the top of his lungs, "My Papa says F***!"

And that is a mild story ;)
 
Capt Quirk said:
Oh... you want horror stories? Got a buttload of them too. Like the time my oldest boy, I think he was maybe 5-6 at the time, was in a Sunday school class. The teacher was talking about bad words. James stood up and announced at the top of his lungs, "My Papa says F***!"

And that is a mild story ;)
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LMFAO!!!!
 
Capt Quirk said:
I'm glad you found it funny. My wife didn't see any humor in it at the time.
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Not only did I find that funny, I'm going to be laughing about that one all day. :beer: :dankk2:
 
Ramjet1979 said:
Wow. Some interesting posts here. I am glad I posted this. It's nice to see that people are family men too, and what not.

When I was younger, I used to think that I had to be this brooding, introverted, lonely, suffering actor, that would never be able to fulfill anothers emotional needs.

Now, married with a baby....

But it's great. I guess I was wrong.

I did always say that if I was more emotionally balanced, that I thought I would have better and fuller access to my emotional facilities as an actor. I think I was right about that, though.

Well, anyways. So far, no horror stories here. We have gotten very lucky. She sleeps through the night. She is happy almost all the time. And my father always wanted a daughter, so now my parents help us out a lot :)

And being married and having responsibility has great emotional challenges connected to it, and as a result, great opportunity for growth and life experience.

Jason
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You just said a whole lot Jason, about life and creativity and how it's all supposed to work. I went through exactly what you're talking about. there's something romantic about being the brooding, Bukowski-like character, but I've realized that staying partially sober and partially sane has a greater deal of rewards. We can leave the dark stuff to the acting and writing phase, but make our lives about the happy moments.

I'm glad that you posted this. I've posted before about being a filmmaker and a dad/mom and the response was pretty amazing. You are not alone. :)

CAPT QUIRK...the church story cracked me up. I know those times are coming for me.
 
My son, 24, and I have a great relationship. We TALK about anything and
everything. My favorite story, years ago when he was about 10 he broke his
arm. The doctor told him to keep his arm elevated during sleep, keep it above
his heart.

He wanted my help so I slept at the foot of his bed to make sure he was okay.
Right before he went to sleep he said to me -you're always there for me. I told him I
would always be. He hugged me so tight with all his heart.

It was a Disney/Kodak moment.

Presently he broke up with his gf and has been
texting me for the last week on the pain he's going through.

I'll always be there for him. Being a mom is da bomb.
 
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