jpbankesmercer
Director Mod
Good luck guys!
DNS Filmworks - DreamCom
- Thread starter Dario Nieva
- Start date
cinealma
Veteran
I really like this one. Something a little more original than most of the other stuff in the fest. I knew this would be good when I first started seeing your thread.
There are three things that stick out to me that need to be addressed:
1. The opening credits/advertising
2. The ending - I screamed at my computer, "WTF!? Where's the rest?!"
3. Tightening the mutha up!!!
The third item I feel especially needs attention. A lot of the scenes can really use some MAJOR tightening up.
The sales guy didn't do it for me acting-wise, but you can easily address this in the cutting room.
Again, one of my favorites in the festival. Looks like you have PLENTY to work with. Now go make it f*ckin' great!!!
John G.
There are three things that stick out to me that need to be addressed:
1. The opening credits/advertising
2. The ending - I screamed at my computer, "WTF!? Where's the rest?!"
3. Tightening the mutha up!!!
The third item I feel especially needs attention. A lot of the scenes can really use some MAJOR tightening up.
The sales guy didn't do it for me acting-wise, but you can easily address this in the cutting room.
Again, one of my favorites in the festival. Looks like you have PLENTY to work with. Now go make it f*ckin' great!!!
John G.
mentatDUKE
Veteran
Very interesting film. The forest scenes felt a lot like a childhood favorite 80s show "Land of the Lost". I felt freaked out by this the same way I did about the creatures in that. Good job.
The eating guts was well done.
The concept was interesting. I think the characters motivation for wanting to remember his dreams could have been played up more. The ending could have been a bit more tidy. Seemed like a copout for not knowing how to end it. Boo!
You left us wanting more. Good job.
Cinematography could use work. Felt a bit videoy. Decent acting. Exceptional makeup and costumes. Decent acting.
Kudos.
Take care.
The eating guts was well done.
The concept was interesting. I think the characters motivation for wanting to remember his dreams could have been played up more. The ending could have been a bit more tidy. Seemed like a copout for not knowing how to end it. Boo!
You left us wanting more. Good job.
Cinematography could use work. Felt a bit videoy. Decent acting. Exceptional makeup and costumes. Decent acting.
Kudos.
Take care.
Dario Nieva
Well-known member
Thanks for the comments everyone! Rest assured I will get around to posting a review for your films, things got really busy for me at the office this week so I wasn't able to acomplish as much as I wanted.
The contest winner will be announced either Saturday or Sunday
The contest winner will be announced either Saturday or Sunday
Norm Sanders
Script Wrangler
Just finally getting the time to copy the notes I compiled in a Word doc while watching the shorts:
Maybe because I’m laying in my bed watching these on my laptop, but this is the first one to really freak me out some … good job, though I now HAVE to watch another one in hopes of not having nightmares. Concept seems strong, just lacked some in the visuals with camera, lighting, etc. Opening also felt out of pace & off, starting with the meeting in the office, then his exit away from the building … though looked like some great locations, and the VERY opening (the commercial) was well done.
Maybe because I’m laying in my bed watching these on my laptop, but this is the first one to really freak me out some … good job, though I now HAVE to watch another one in hopes of not having nightmares. Concept seems strong, just lacked some in the visuals with camera, lighting, etc. Opening also felt out of pace & off, starting with the meeting in the office, then his exit away from the building … though looked like some great locations, and the VERY opening (the commercial) was well done.
CINEMATOGRAPHY:
For the most part, you had some good shots/lighting going on. I liked the first shot, and the shots in the office. I thought the lighting was nice, but the guys bedroom everything just looked flat and boring because it was so empty. Maybe thats what you were going for, but I dunno.
EDITING:
You did a good job of cutting between what was the "real" world and the "dream" world, and at the end you did a good job of mixing the two together so that it wasn't sure of what was real and what wasn't.
SOUND:
Wow, the noise those weird monsters were making was freaky. I had my speakers up pretty high and when I first heard the noise I think I jumped. Some of the dialogue was hard to hear in the office, but besides that, everything else was mixed well.
SCORE:
I felt as if the soundtrack for this didn't exactly help move the film along, or really give off too much more emotion, but it was a nice accompaniment to it.
SCREENPLAY:
The idea was really good. It had a lot of potential, but I felt you only got to a little bit of it. The monsters were weird and creepy, and the first dream shot of them eating the guy was pretty disturbing. But the overall story just felt a little weak, you might've been better off if you had more time, but I felt that the majority of the story wasn't nearly as good as it could've been.
ACTING:
The acting just didn't do it for me. The guy in the commercial intro wasn't too bad, and I think he would've served better for the office scenes. The main actor seemed a little too dull for me. This was strong when the "ex-doctor" tried to stop him from using the machine. That whole conversation just seemed really fake and forced.
Overall, I think you had a good idea, but just came up a little too short with the whole story. Like I said, I think this idea is better suited for a longer running time that isn't restricted by anything except for how long the story keeps it going. Starting the film off with the commercial I felt was a really good way to quickly get across what the film was going to be about. Next time, just make sure you've got the right actors for the part. Good job though.
For the most part, you had some good shots/lighting going on. I liked the first shot, and the shots in the office. I thought the lighting was nice, but the guys bedroom everything just looked flat and boring because it was so empty. Maybe thats what you were going for, but I dunno.
EDITING:
You did a good job of cutting between what was the "real" world and the "dream" world, and at the end you did a good job of mixing the two together so that it wasn't sure of what was real and what wasn't.
SOUND:
Wow, the noise those weird monsters were making was freaky. I had my speakers up pretty high and when I first heard the noise I think I jumped. Some of the dialogue was hard to hear in the office, but besides that, everything else was mixed well.
SCORE:
I felt as if the soundtrack for this didn't exactly help move the film along, or really give off too much more emotion, but it was a nice accompaniment to it.
SCREENPLAY:
The idea was really good. It had a lot of potential, but I felt you only got to a little bit of it. The monsters were weird and creepy, and the first dream shot of them eating the guy was pretty disturbing. But the overall story just felt a little weak, you might've been better off if you had more time, but I felt that the majority of the story wasn't nearly as good as it could've been.
ACTING:
The acting just didn't do it for me. The guy in the commercial intro wasn't too bad, and I think he would've served better for the office scenes. The main actor seemed a little too dull for me. This was strong when the "ex-doctor" tried to stop him from using the machine. That whole conversation just seemed really fake and forced.
Overall, I think you had a good idea, but just came up a little too short with the whole story. Like I said, I think this idea is better suited for a longer running time that isn't restricted by anything except for how long the story keeps it going. Starting the film off with the commercial I felt was a really good way to quickly get across what the film was going to be about. Next time, just make sure you've got the right actors for the part. Good job though.
mameragex
Well-known member
SEE THE BALLOT COUNT HERE!!! >>>CLICK HERE<<<