Unexplained Murder Short - HVX/M2

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dcarpio01

New member
Here's some sample footage from a project I shot this weekend...let me know what you think...I'm searching for constructive criticism!

"Unexplained Murder"

DP: Dustin Carpio
Director: Jamie Mengual
Gaffer: Jeff Bierman

Camera: HVX 200 & M2 35mm adapter
Lenses: 35, 50, 85mm Nikon Primes
Format: 720p24pn

Unexplained Murder - Day 1
Unexplained Murder - Day 2
Unexplained Murder - Day 3

Murder5.jpg


Murder6.jpg


Murder7.jpg
 
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Well i'll post the first analysis/criticism.

1. Its to well lit for my taste. Its...professional...I don't like professional.
2. The editing was too well done for my taste. Cutting on the action and giving me that since of continuity...again too professional for my taste.
3. The M2 is nice...but I need more diffusion and sharpness, even though that seems to be an oxymoron like Jumbo Shrimp. Again I hate the beautiful picture produced by the M2. Its tooo...professional.
4. This is going to force people to step their game up...Its too nice for my taste, please re-post when you do something crappy. I hate how much I had to enjoy this footage.
 
cinebuddy said:
Well i'll post the first analysis/criticism.

1. Its to well lit for my taste. Its...professional...I don't like professional.
2. The editing was too well done for my taste. Cutting on the action and giving me that since of continuity...again too professional for my taste.
3. The M2 is nice...but I need more diffusion and sharpness, even though that seems to be an oxymoron like Jumbo Shrimp. Again I hate the beautiful picture produced by the M2. Its tooo...professional.
4. This is going to force people to step their game up...Its too nice for my taste, please re-post when you do something crappy. I hate how much I had to enjoy this footage.
Click to expand...

Thanks for that wonderful bit of Sarcasm...keep in mind this is being done for a college Production Workshop class, so I would really like to hear what you liked and disliked, with camera, editing and directing... but thanks for starting off the comments!
 
I am very impressed! Wonderful work. The M2 is starting to have a large and solid collection of wonderful examples; this adding to the list.

Story wise... I don't understand why she sits down after shutting the door on her attacker. I would think she would run back outside from which she just came (dragged back in).

I also think you might want to cut some of the back end of the clip where the attacker is tying up her feet. I thought it was to long for the already established pace. Actually the entire sequence of her being tied up is long, but the feet is what stuck out the most when I watched it.

The lighting was great. I really didn't find anything to complain about.

Which college are you doing a production workshop? Just curious.
 
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I liked the footage a lot (as far as quality is concerned). I didn't like the DOF that much; because, I felt that too much was fuzzy, and that it didn't contribute much to the look and feel of what was happening.

The editing was great, in my opinion. Very smooth.

I didn't like the acting in the cuts. When "girl" sits down after closing the door to her attacker, I did not see fear on her face.

The fact that the assailant was so easily pushed aside lent a fake look to it. Crimes of violence would seem to me to be more...violent.

The ending where he was tying her up...wow. It didn't even look to me like he cared whether she was tied up or not.

I think this is a great start, and you are already making good images. If I were directing, I would make the DOF a little more shallow, but that is my tastes.

If you want this to be suspenseful, put some fire into your characters. I think music would have contributed a lot in these cuts. All in all, good start.

I think with some polish, these could be great little cuts.

Good luck!
 
....very nice....lighting was good,...although the image did go a bit too dark for my tatse there towards the end.....and yes we didn't need to see the guy fumbling with the telephone cord for so long....I'm assuming you just let it play out because you haven't got anything else?
 
Excellent footage. The DOF was great, and it looks like you were able to dial in the M2 perfectly. Good luck with the rest of the project.
 
SexyPants said:
I liked the footage a lot (as far as quality is concerned). I didn't like the DOF that much; because, I felt that too much was fuzzy, and that it didn't contribute much to the look and feel of what was happening.......

I think this is a great start, and you are already making good images. If I were directing, I would make the DOF a little more shallow, but that is my tastes.....
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You said you didn't like the dof ....and you would make it more shallow.

Did you mean the opposite and wish for greater depth of field (deeper focus) or do your 1st AC's end up with bad drinking problems after working on your sets? :)
 
Very nice...it looks great and I especially liked the camera work for the pursuit.

As sexypants stated the girl's reaction when she sits down doesn't work. She appears to be comtemplatative or resigned to her fate, but in reality her mind would be racing. Esp considering she had the balls to fight him off in the first place. And I'd kinda understand why she would stop there if the room was a dead end, but it isn't (which I just noticed Prodigy mentioned). Why doesn't she keep moving? Or why isn't she looking for a weapon?

There's also no suggestion as to why she's limp when he's dragging her out. No "thud" to suggest a blow. Easily fixed, and I'm sure you've noticed it anyway.

During the chase I noticed an "ugh" which sounded like it came from the camera man. Maybe that's cause I'm wearing headphones. Anyway, these points are probably not your domain. Enjoyed your work.

One question - the look is obviously slightly muted/dark, which works. Was this your intention or a product of the M2s light loss?
 
dcarpio01 said:
Thanks for that wonderful bit of Sarcasm...keep in mind this is being done for a college Production Workshop class, so I would really like to hear what you liked and disliked, with camera, editing and directing... but thanks for starting off the comments!
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I hope you don't think I disliked it. It was very nice. I hate to be critical of other peoples work as I don't want to seem like a nit picker, not to mention I have yet to complete a feature. The only thing I may have done different was the pursuit thru the house...i think in movie 3...I would have had a shot of the pursuit from the front...to show her panic and provide a different perspective. I was otherwise very impressed. I can definitely see the progression in editing from one to three. Was that part of the assignment?
 
It was a nice sequence. I liked the location, lighting and limited depth of field (very filmlike). If you want me to be picky...

1. I would add music (which I'm sure you plan on doing).

2. I would add sound effects and foley (so you can here every movement, every step, every breath, etc...).

3. The camera goes soft at times (focus), but that didn't bother me. It kind of goes with the intense action/suspense feel that you are going for.

4. A) My least two favorite parts are when the girl slides down the wall after putting (what seemed to be) a chair on wheels in front of the door. Why she ever thought she was safe or could take a break from the chase was beyond me. It also feels like she is looking too much into the camera during that shot. She should also be more distraught (like she knows that things are not going to be OK).

4. B) The other moment I disliked was the tieing her up with phone cord shot. I agree with everyone else that it takes too long, but I also don't think of phone cord as something the the killer would think would hold the girl (especially the way he gently ties her up with it).

I think quick cuts will solve most of these problems. Nice work! I hope you will share more with us.
 
=Prodigy= said:
You said you didn't like the dof ....and you would make it more shallow.

Did you mean the opposite and wish for greater depth of field (deeper focus) or do your 1st AC's end up with bad drinking problems after working on your sets? :)
Click to expand...

Thanks, Prodigy. I meant greater DOF. :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG) And no, most of my people wouldn't hit the bottle after a hard days work over here, though they probably should.
 
That first shot is so beautifully lit. Can you tell us a little more about how you lit that, what lenses you used, etc...? Really nicely done!
 
I think she could easily escape from the loosley bound ropes... other than that, fantastic job. Looking forward to seeing more.
 
Thanks everyone for the criticism...I'm always open the hearing people's thoughts now matter whether they are good or bad. As a part of my class at Drexel U we were not allowed to deviate from the script so most of the parts that I wanted to change I couldn't (ie: her sitting down and watching the door and her being tied up after he knocked her out) Since I was only allowed to DP the project I didn't have any say over the actor's performances really...but I'll pass your comments along to the director.

The project is far from done...the samples were quickly edited together after each days shoot. We have a lot more footage and better takes...I just didn't have time to sort through it all everynight.

As far as the lighting goes...we were going for a track lighting effect in the kitchen and a patchy sunlit appearance for the rest of the house. I think it was pretty effective and like how they both drop in and out of light as they travel down the halls and into different rooms. This was my first try at shooting all handheld and it was an amazing learning experience...thank god for my follow focus and marshall monitor!

If you want to see more and check out a picture of the rig I used head on over to my website...www.onelightfilms.com
I post regurlarly with videos and stills!
 
Just for fun, here is a really quick level/saturation adjustment in After Effects:

Before:
1154380655.jpg


After:
1154380711.jpg
 
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