1st short finished: A Magic Wand. Crits wanted. (Noir film)

JoshuaNitschke

JoshuaNitschke

Well-known member
The short post:

Quicktime mp4, 51.5 mb, 6 minutes and 43 seconds.


==========================

The long post:

Hey all. :) I'm 18 years old, kind of got into the film thing a bit late (only 2 years ago), and I bought my own DVX with my own money about a month ago. I filmed this short in my spare time, 3 shoots over 3 weeks.

Just to clarify, this is my first short ever, and the only thing I filmed before this were some flowers in my back yard right after I first opened the package. This is all greenhorn footage. :)

Lot's of continuity problems....I'll have to do better keeping track of everything next time.

One or two shots I'm not completely happy with:, but I'm pretty proud of it as a whole.

Three shoots, shot over three weeks, each shoot a week apart.

Equipment:
Camera: DVX-100b
Cheap tripod
Homemade steadicam. (no dolly yet :( )
Two lights and on the third shoot, two dimmers.

Here are a few grabs:

amw_match.jpg

amagicwand_bw.jpg

thinking_bw.jpg



And the movie.

Quicktime mp4, 51.5 mb, 6 minutes and 43 seconds.

The end isn't quite perfect (tape ate part of it the first time I shot it, so I had to go back and I forgot a shot that isn't too important but might have made a better connection); I hope it makes sense.

Feedback of any kind wanted. :) As much as I'd like praise, Constructive Criticism is better for me and I'd like lots of that. You can mention the continuity problems if you really want to, but like I said, I know some glaring ones exist.

And yes, I know about the Folgers. :cry:
 
really enjoyed this, just got my dvx100b also and this is the type of style i was interested in too, great/interesting to see someone elses impression of noir style.
 
BenFarrell said:
really enjoyed this, just got my dvx100b also and this is the type of style i was interested in too, great/interesting to see someone elses impression of noir style.
Click to expand...
Thanks. :)

Did you find the voice over dull or uninteresting at all? A lot of people complained about that in Sin City, which was a big influence for this (along with older noirs of course).
 
I'm dling right now, I just wanted to pick up on this Sin City bashing of the so-called people complaining about the voice over.

Did they not know they were going to see a comic book on screen, that's what comic books are. Elongated voice-overs with pictures! Screw those bastards.

*steps off soap box*
 
LloydC said:
Hey Virum,

what kind of steady cam did you make? how did you mount the big DVX?
Click to expand...
Well, the steadicam is crap (well, that's a bit harsh, but it could be a lot better), I'm remaking it in a bit. It worked, but attaching the camera was hard and it had no gimble. Here's a pic:


steadicam.jpg



I had a metal plate on the top of the screw to add more support, but I lost it...I hadn't screwed it on and it seems it fell off somewhere. No big deal, since I'm making a new one.

I recently ordered the http://www.dvcamerarigs.com/ book; i"m going to make his steadicam and then try to make a vest and arm for it.

Most of the shots in the movie are steadicam....I barely used the tripod at all. On the more shaky closeups, that's me trying to hold that thing steady with the zoom all the way in. Usually holding it with one hand and focusing with the other. It was a *****. Gave me a really sore back too, some of the positions I had to stand in.
 
To begin, let me complement you that you actually went out and did something. And it's impressive that you've made a commitment to actually buy the camera yourself. Having watched your clip I will say the VO sounded young and occasionally more read than spoken. But I'm sure you did this with friends, and being 18 it's a little hard to pull off the hard-boilded detective just because of the age thing. The criticism is not that you did a bad job, because I don't think you did. When you have the opportunity to use actors that more closely fit the character (age wise) I'm sure you'll do fine. The VO was a little much, though. Let the pictures explain things more and use the "hard-boiled" dialogue to augment the pictures and set the mood. Sometimes less is more.:thumbsup:

The choice of B&W was nice considering the material. The indoor shots looked flat and a bit "video-ish". You might want to make sure you crush you black down in post and perhaps add some contrast to give it an interesting look. Part of the feel of noir is the tension that is raised by the use of dark shadows and contrasting light. They used venetian blinds to great effect to break up the smooth lighting on images. Smoke looks good on film, especially in shafts of light.

The cell phone. Sorry, I laughed when I saw that. You were trying to set the mood of an era of days gone by and the cell phone just destroyed that for me.

All things considered, I think you did a good job and are off to a nice start. Use your lighting to supply the tension that an otherwise flat scene might lack. Keep it up and you'll learn how you want to do things but seeing what results you get from experimenting. You kept me interested in seeing where you were going all the way to the end so. Obviously, there really wasn't much story here, I think you were trying to set a mood as much as anything else. You might want to spend some time in the Lighting Forum to see what options you have for lighting. Lots of things can be done on the cheap if you're willing to experiment to get a stylish look. Remember, if you're working in B&W you have to find different ways to make your picture grab the viewer. Since you don't have a full color palette to work with, you'll want to make up for that with interesting combinations of light and shadow.

If you haven't done it already, rent a few of the classic noir movies and see how they used their lighting to enhance the mood they were trying to create.

As I said, you're off to a good start. Now, take what you've got, do some research on lighting techniques and blow our socks off. :thumbsup:
 
Thanks for the constructive criticism, I appreciate it. :)

Yeah, Jon is my best friend, we're doing the film making thing together. We hope to go to film school together next year or so. He's only 17, so yeah, he doesn't really have the "age" behind the character.

Which lines sounded read? The voice overs I like least are the ones we did first, he seemed to do a better job on the ones recorded on the second shoot. (We did the voice overs on only two separate days).

The stuff we shot first was the pajama shots, the opening of the package, the "My mom's irish" bit, and the breaking of the cookie. I feel the "just got up" scenes have the worst lighting. Very flat, very boring.

On the second day, a week later, we shot everything else except the stuff after the second "It's not good for a private eye to loose his train of thought." I think the lighting of this stuff is better, and I especially like the opening pan and the out of focus tilt to the fortune cooking ("oh yes....the fortune cookie").

Then, yesterday, we shot the last segment. Very rushed, I had to go to a highschool graduation meeting and that lasted very late... We didn't start filming until about 10 P.M. or so, and we worked until 12:30. I then came home and edited until about 4:00 A.M. cause I was so excited. :)

Anyways, the sillouette shot, I got the idea from Hitchcock's "Rebecca," where he kills the background lights so that the eyesight of the view goes to the female lead. I saw a similar technigue in another movie, and I wanted to experiment with changing the lighting mid shot which is why I tried it out. I needed some dimmers anyway, so I went out and bought two.

As for the blinds, I wanted lighting with them, which is why we set up by the blinds), but to my chagrin, there wasn't an outlet close enough (Even with a long extension cord) for me to set a light outside the window. Oh wells. :) Next time I'll fake it.

Anyways, my question is, is there a noticeable improvement in the lighting during the three different shoots? (I hope that makes sense).

Thanks for taking the time to read this and for giving such a good comment. I hope to improve. :)
 
i liked the voice over virum it was cool and i liked the silohette lighting it was all good to me except for the kitchen lighting but it did improve i enjoyed big film noir fan here

peace n luv

Mark Dog
 
You did a stand up job. I envy you... 18 and your new DVX. Keep pressing and you will do great! I think everything has pretty much been stated already. I must say that there are some good edits in this short. Some aren't quit there, but there are some that are truly great.
Nice work.
Keep shooting.
 
Wow, blast from the past. :)

Thanks for the comments Mark and snodart; I really do appreciate them.

Snodart, which edits did you not like; I think I know, but I want to make sure.

Thanks!
 
Virum, you did a beautiful job.

Men, I applaud these guys, why, cuz it is 99.9% impossible for guys their age in some other parts of the world to do something so craftic. I think I like the way you guys did ya'all own thing, ya'all own style and ya'all own minds and am sure you guys learnt a whole new lot during the actual shoot, and you will take that experience to make your next short into something that will actually draw the audience into how creative your minds are.

That's my 50 cents.
 
Wow, thank you so much. It's comments like these that really help me keep going when I'm faced with a lot of my difficulties (mainly not many people interested in helping me out).

Thanks. :)
 
Beat the hell out of the noir piece i posted the other day. Good job. What schools are you applying to? I attend Cal State University Northridge, and I must say, they're department is amazing. It ain't USC, but it's better than UCLA.
 
Heya blind!

Thanks for commenting. I watched your short, it sounds like I hard assignment; I didn't think it was that bad...I liked several of the shots; especially the lighting when he sees the girl tied up.

Anyways, me and my friend (the P.I. in the movie), want to go to Chapman; it's fairly close and has a good student aid program. USC is just too darned expensive, and too hands off for my tastes. I still have another year of general ed at the local community college, though.
 
Nice work Virum. I love to see people take a project seriously and really put some effort into it. I think you did an awesome job.
 
Virum said:
Snodart, which edits did you not like; I think I know, but I want to make sure.
Click to expand...

I didn't ignore this. I want to watch it again with more time.

david jerome said:
I love to see people take a project seriously and really put some effort into it.
Click to expand...

I second that.
 
Cool short, I just got my dvx100b about 2 weeks ago, and shot some flowers in my backyard the first day =).

I liked this mic did you use? did you use Vegas to edit?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top