Yes, No, Maybe So?!!!!! Hints, Tips, and Collaborations

D

Danstin Studios

Active member
Hi, I am a filmmaker looking to make a short film. I have a basic film idea, which I agonized over for a month. I am not what anyone could ever call a good scriptwriter, and I would like to collaborate with someone who's work is a little bit more palatable.

My idea is short, less than five minute film

It is a comedy.

This is most definitely a low budget short. By that however, I don't mean that I plan to compromise in any way my artistic choices.

I plan on submitting this to several contests/festivals. I will give proper credit for any assistance. I will provide any credit that you would like.

The short is about a man who is incapable of making a simple decision, and the effect that has on his life. That's a summary of the idea of the film.

I have a final scene planned out in my head, in which the short is ended. The man is walking dejectedly along when he passes a somewhat shady man leaning against a building. The man asks him for a light, or something like that, then pulls him into the shadows of an alleyway and demands, "Your money or your life!." The man freezes in terror, his eye's grow wide, and we fade out. I am by no means married to that scene, but I personally feel that it's a fitting ending.

However, I really don't have any idea what I want to do with the rest of the film. I want to keep it short, and thought about starting with his girlfriend dumping him over his inability to make decisions, because he couldn't tell her what outfit looked better. I am hoping to submit this to a youth film division of the upcoming AFI fest, and I talked with one of the mini-fest directors, who I had worked with previously, and she said she thought I had a good chance of winning.

Therefore, I am hoping to get this written and shot in about a week in order to get it into this festival. I am hoping to continue to submit it into alternate programs after that, and if you are willing to collaborate, but daunted by the deadline, then I may be willing to rewrite and reshoot after the inital project was sent in to AFI.

I appreciate any help anyone may have. I am open to script or filmmaking suggestions you guys want to throw in here, and I hope someone is intrigued enough to write me up at ransomdaniell@yahoo.com.
 
Well, for starters, I live in a beautiful picturesque town with all sorts of historic buildings.
I have access to a perfect apartment space to shoot in.
I have two actor friends, a man and a woman, who are the perfect people to play the main character and his girlfriend.
They have actor friends, so I am pretty good as far as having a few actors, though not too many.
I had a few ideas while going over this, and here's what I was thinking. I'm pretty much copy and pasting from my brain dump.

What if as an ending sequence, he does something that wins him the admiration of his city,and his girlfriend comes back to him. Either it could be something where he overcomes his fear to accomplish a near impossible task, i.e. a terrorist walks into the open with a bomb, and he knocks him out and defuses it. As he is defusing it, he has to decide whether to pull the green wire or the red wire. Or, it could be something where his "disability" saves him and other people, he's unable to come to a decision and that ends up saving him. I'm not quite sure yet what he could do here, but I feel like maybe this would be more fulfilling.
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Also, someone on another forum (Gasp! Yes, I do occassionally wander...)
said the following....

Start with the guy staring at a refridgerator full of food. Specifically the milk. He's got whole milk, slim milk, 1%, 0%. He reaches for one, than changes his mind and reaches for another. He looks at the sky in dismay, mumbling to himself, calories or taste, calories or taste.

Finally his girlfriend comes in and grabs a bottle of milk and takes it to the breakfast table. He follows her, accepting that he'll drink whatever milk she's chosen. Unfortunately his bowl is between two chairs and he can't figure out which one to sit at. She's trying to get his attention but he's just sort of motioning from one to the other deciding which chair to sit in. FInally she slides the bowl over to one chair and he sits in it with a smile.

She clears her throat and he looks at her. She's wearing a waitress uniform and holds up two aprons. She holds one in front of her, than the second. "Stupid question but which do you like?" Simple choice but he can't make it. He likes both. She forces him to choose. He can't. I can't take this, if you don't choose I'll dump you. He stares back and forth, back and forth. Finally she dumps the milk on his head, throws her toiletries in a bag (show that she has a lot of toiletries, couple of toothbrushes, lots of hair products, etc), and storms off "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff later" she yells slamming the door as she goes. He hears the car squeel out of the driveway.
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I like the girlfriend being on her way to work and getting upset. I can kinda envision that scene as being somewhat like the scene from "Stripes" when his girlfriend leaves him. I want to make it obvious he can't make decisions, but I feel like if I make his character unable to make decisions like not picking up the phone without any reason, unless he's obviously agonizing over it, then it will quickly become annoying, if you can follow my thoughts there.

I would love to hear you guys' input.
 
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I would suggest that you sit down with your actor friends on some quiet evenings, let them develop the characters in a role playing exercise. Keep your locations, plots, and props simple, just to make low budget easier to maintain.
 
Well, I'm kind of substituting you guys for my actors, as far as character growth and idea bouncing goes. Because I'm not paying them anything, and they're both working two jobs, I really can't ask them to just come over for something like that. They owe me a favor, so they'll fit in any shooting I have to do, but as far as that goes, don't think it can happen.

That's how you guys became my bouncing board.
 
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Okay, the girlfriend idea has potential, but there are some flaws with the current vein.

If the girlfriend is living with the guy, as it seems, then she surely knows by now about his inability to make even the smallest decisions. So she wouldn't ask him to help her choose what apron to wear. And she wouldn't wait for him to choose a chair to sit in -- she would just sit in one, forcing him to sit in the other.

I'd take it back a bit further. In bed, asleep, alarm clock goes off, he wakes up. Going to get dressed. Drawer holds rows of the exact same underwear. Another drawer holds rows of the exact same socks. Closet holds multiples of the exact same shirt and the exact same pants. Audience is wondering why this is. (The answer -- because he isn't faced with any choices. Getting dressed is simplified.)

He goes to the refrigerator, and this is where he faces his first choice -- whole milk or skim? Don't put more than 2 types -- why would there be more, when there are only 2 people? He stares, reaches for one, hesitates, withdraws his hand, reaches for the other, etc. etc. Finally his girlfriend (or roommate) comes in and takes the skim milk. All that's left is the whole milk -- no choice, so he takes the whole milk.

Gets a bowl -- all identical, no choices. Goes to the table, can't decide which chair to sit in. Meanwhile girlfriend (or roommate) comes to the table and puts her (or his) glass of milk down at one of the chairs. There is no longer a choice, so the guy sets his bowl down at the other chair.

Guy goes to pantry. There are two different kinds of cereal. Repeat the indecision bit from the refrigerator. Finally girlfriend gets fed up, grabs one box of cereal and throws it in the trash angrily. Oblivious, the guy takes the other box of cereal.

See how it goes? A series of small decisions just to get out the door in the morning. Girlfriend getting more and more angry. Now, as the story progresses, the decisions become more and more major -- more and more important. Everything has to escalate to the point where he's finally faced with The Ultimate Decision -- whatever that is.

Start small. :)

That's my 2 cents. Good luck!
 
n1 chapel...to add to that,
u could do a day in the life of the guy who has everything labelled with his name using post it notes for cereal, milk, keys etc (keep chapels clothes idea) life is all good

the couple have a trivial argument and the girl takes all of his labels off the items around the house and obsessive compulsive chaos ensues.
 
I really like that idea. I don't know if I feel that it has enough to stand on it's own, unless you get some really good actors and figure out some really fun things to do. But I definitely like the label thing. I think that could be really great. What if we show him getting up, and opening a drawer with similar patterned, but different color shirts. Each has a sticky saying a day of the week, in order. The Monday is one row lower than the rest. He pulls out a Tuesday shirt, and underneath it is an identical one. He puts on his clothes and comes out. He grabs cereal, a bowl, a spoon, and sets them up in a very orderly way on the table. Then he goes to get the milk, and panic ensues. He opens the fridge, and the whole milk is there, sitting perfectly straight, with a label saying "Afternoons." Next to it, at a skew angle, is the differently colored milk, which has no label. His eyes go wide and he yells out his girlfriends name. I can see the way he says this almost reminiscent of Forrest Gump, though I don't want this to end up being about mentally retarded people. I don't see this as that, but the panic-stricken effect could go over very well. Then she comes rushing in, with her hair all wet or some obvious sign she was still getting ready. "Oh, please! Come on Jason." She grabs the milk and thrusts it in his chest, then goes running back to the bathroom/bedroom etc. He is satisfied and goes to sit down. She comes rushing out and asks his opinion on something. He is unable to come up with an answer, and annoyed, she says she'll just wear one, then comes rushing out wearing the other. As she's trying to find her keys, she gets exasperated at him, and through several events, she yells at him that she never wants to see him again, grabs some stuff and stuffs it in a bag, and runs out.

What do ya think?
 
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