Would you help me workshop my Narrative Reel?
- Thread starter dcarstens
- Start date
awelgraven
Well-known member
Great stuff. The shot at 1:19 is beautiful, imho. I wish I had the money/lights/talent to be able to light a whole room that well.
Max Swinton
Member
I really like all of this, it all looks great. Being critical the only thing I don't like is the last shot with the swimmer, but that's to do with personal taste and isn't a crit on the quality of the shot itself. Other than that I like all of it.
Max
Max
dcarstens
Well-known member
I've received a comment that it's cut too fast, which had occurred to me, though I wanted to keep a good pace as well as to cram in all my shots into a short running time. If it bothers enough people, I'll try to identify the weaker shots to take them out so I can slow down the cuts.
Thanks for your comment Max- curious to hear what you don't like about the last shot. It's my "money shot", though I re-graded it differently from its original look. Is there something about the grade that you don't like?
Thanks for your comment Max- curious to hear what you don't like about the last shot. It's my "money shot", though I re-graded it differently from its original look. Is there something about the grade that you don't like?
dcarstens
Well-known member
I had less lights than you might think on that shot. Just two Mole 2Ks outside the windows, a couple bounced tweenies, and a Kino for fill, then let the practicals take care of the rest.
Max Swinton
Member
It's just a matter of taste really. I feel like every other shot in this reel is not only beautifully executed, but also exudes a deeper narrative quality in the sense that there is intrigue and depth to it, and it feels really layered and solid. The shot with the swimmer feels to me like a slow motion shot of a swimmer and nothing more. it could be that I look on super slow motion as short hand used to elicit a certain emotional response, and because I see it so often it leaves me cold. It just doesn't feel as full of promise as the rest of the reel. Like I say though it's a matter of taste. The technical execution is excellent and it is a beautiful shot, it just doesn't inspire me the way the rest of the reel does.
Max
Max
Olaf99
Active member
I second this! I wish I had some constructive criticisms to give but this reel is simply fantastic.
Jordan Scott Price
Veteran
You shot the Mass Effect 3 teaser?!
ThisHideousReplica
Active member
Okay, firstly, I'm way, way, way, way down on the totem pole from you... but sometimes useful notes come from the unlikeliest of places so I thought I'd take a shot--
a)I think the sense that its cut too fast comes from the introduction, the 20 seconds or so before we get into the girl on a bike segment. The very first shot for sure is cut too fast, our attention has no time to settle after the camera move. The first 20 seconds are the weakest aspect of the reel, not the shots themselves, but they way they're organized seems random and disconnected. I get that its meant to provide an overview of whats to come, but I'm not sure its working. Maybe you could open with a few of your more moody and mysterious shots to hook the viewer right off the top? To maintain a kinetic, high-energy feel without exceesive cutting you could use shots where the viewer is shifting where in the frame they're looking, like the shot at 1:11 of the guy passing the detective. You could also find something that you do a slow push-in to recur throughout these first 20 seconds for a bit of structure.
b)Since this is a narrative reel, and at this really high level, the main concern is probably demonstrating an ability to evoke and sustain a mood and a look. The girl on a bike section is effective because it gives a sense of place and even a bit of character and emotion. Maybe some of the others, while amazing at conveying the tone and look of the project, could maybe be pushed in this direction. For example the mass effect 3 section you could cut the gunfight coherently and end with the good guys in peril and go off to the next section. Or like in the detective section you could have him discovering the body (or whatever he's investigating--I dont know) show some shady characters, have the shot where he's creeping into the house, then cut to reaction shot of him horrified by something. I'm not saying tell the story, but definitely allude to it with little snippets by using shot-reverse shot etc. to convey a feel for the storytelling. I think people will not only want to see beautiful images, but also your ability to use beautiful images to propel a story that moves the viewer in some way. Of course this is a DP reel and not an editor or director reel but still, those forces are really powerful and you should exploit them.
c)The swimmer money shot is gorgeous but it does seem to come out of nowhere, so it doesn't quite have the impact it could. On second viewing, I noticed a couple super quick shots of swimmers but they were low-key and hard to connect with this last image. I think you need to intersperse throughout the reel, little "teasers" that some really sexy, beautiful shot at a swimming pool is coming up. They should be visually of the same look as the money shot so we can link them. Maybe the very first shot of your reel could be the swimmer guy on the starter block getting ready to jump. So that when we see this last shot, it feels like the pay off to something, giving it a lot more wow factor even though nothings been changed in the image itself.
d) If you just want to do a quick fix and take out a few shots so you can lengthen the ones that remain I would reccommend ditching ones like the lady in shades at 0:10. It's a strong image, the light coming from the windows is cool, but we barely see her, it's over in a flash, and is pretty much forgotten before its all over.
Ha ha. This is crazy, a guy in my position being so critical of such an amazing, amazing reel. It's like some dork off the street going, "Torn Curtain? Yeah, I don't know... Hitchcock really sh!t the bed on that one." Ridiculous.
a)I think the sense that its cut too fast comes from the introduction, the 20 seconds or so before we get into the girl on a bike segment. The very first shot for sure is cut too fast, our attention has no time to settle after the camera move. The first 20 seconds are the weakest aspect of the reel, not the shots themselves, but they way they're organized seems random and disconnected. I get that its meant to provide an overview of whats to come, but I'm not sure its working. Maybe you could open with a few of your more moody and mysterious shots to hook the viewer right off the top? To maintain a kinetic, high-energy feel without exceesive cutting you could use shots where the viewer is shifting where in the frame they're looking, like the shot at 1:11 of the guy passing the detective. You could also find something that you do a slow push-in to recur throughout these first 20 seconds for a bit of structure.
b)Since this is a narrative reel, and at this really high level, the main concern is probably demonstrating an ability to evoke and sustain a mood and a look. The girl on a bike section is effective because it gives a sense of place and even a bit of character and emotion. Maybe some of the others, while amazing at conveying the tone and look of the project, could maybe be pushed in this direction. For example the mass effect 3 section you could cut the gunfight coherently and end with the good guys in peril and go off to the next section. Or like in the detective section you could have him discovering the body (or whatever he's investigating--I dont know) show some shady characters, have the shot where he's creeping into the house, then cut to reaction shot of him horrified by something. I'm not saying tell the story, but definitely allude to it with little snippets by using shot-reverse shot etc. to convey a feel for the storytelling. I think people will not only want to see beautiful images, but also your ability to use beautiful images to propel a story that moves the viewer in some way. Of course this is a DP reel and not an editor or director reel but still, those forces are really powerful and you should exploit them.
c)The swimmer money shot is gorgeous but it does seem to come out of nowhere, so it doesn't quite have the impact it could. On second viewing, I noticed a couple super quick shots of swimmers but they were low-key and hard to connect with this last image. I think you need to intersperse throughout the reel, little "teasers" that some really sexy, beautiful shot at a swimming pool is coming up. They should be visually of the same look as the money shot so we can link them. Maybe the very first shot of your reel could be the swimmer guy on the starter block getting ready to jump. So that when we see this last shot, it feels like the pay off to something, giving it a lot more wow factor even though nothings been changed in the image itself.
d) If you just want to do a quick fix and take out a few shots so you can lengthen the ones that remain I would reccommend ditching ones like the lady in shades at 0:10. It's a strong image, the light coming from the windows is cool, but we barely see her, it's over in a flash, and is pretty much forgotten before its all over.
Ha ha. This is crazy, a guy in my position being so critical of such an amazing, amazing reel. It's like some dork off the street going, "Torn Curtain? Yeah, I don't know... Hitchcock really sh!t the bed on that one." Ridiculous.
RyanT
Veteran
Just a thought, maybe try cutting it so that last shot of the swimmer cuts to black (or maybe white) when he hits the water. I feel like it would add a bit more action and get rid of the busy background for your text.
I do sort of agree with the earlier comments on this shot just sort of being a "cool shot" and how it's difficult to see how this plays in with the story of whatever. I'm not sure if that was a narrative piece or a commercial, but if you can include any other shots to help tell the story, it might be a good move.
I do sort of agree with the earlier comments on this shot just sort of being a "cool shot" and how it's difficult to see how this plays in with the story of whatever. I'm not sure if that was a narrative piece or a commercial, but if you can include any other shots to help tell the story, it might be a good move.
Grahamrobbins5
Active member
David,
You have amazing work I would not sub out any of the shots, however I would re arrange them. I think every reel needs to have build to it. You have it but its happens to late, and its a bit to short. The beginning of your reel is amazing as is, I think you show us the action stuff with the aliens to quickly because the front end of your reel is already so strong its not really needed. I would save that stuff to end on as the song picks up, let the action pick up. I personally love the swimmer shot is has a different quality from the rest of your reel and gives you a nice water element to end on. Anyway in summary loved the reel, if you want notes mine are to increase the build of your reel save the action stuff for the end and end strong because your intro is great even without it.
Cheers mate,
Graham Robbins
You have amazing work I would not sub out any of the shots, however I would re arrange them. I think every reel needs to have build to it. You have it but its happens to late, and its a bit to short. The beginning of your reel is amazing as is, I think you show us the action stuff with the aliens to quickly because the front end of your reel is already so strong its not really needed. I would save that stuff to end on as the song picks up, let the action pick up. I personally love the swimmer shot is has a different quality from the rest of your reel and gives you a nice water element to end on. Anyway in summary loved the reel, if you want notes mine are to increase the build of your reel save the action stuff for the end and end strong because your intro is great even without it.
Cheers mate,
Graham Robbins