Would someone want to make this into a film?

R

rajjaskaran

Member
This is a script idea i have, that deals with India's extreme obsession with cricket, and I want to try to send a message of how the dream of one father to make his son a cricket player becomes an extreme obsession.

Rahul, a local village man who lives in a very poor rural area in India, has always had a dream of becoming a cricket player to fulfill his father's dream, but was unable to as a result of his untimely death, and was forced to work as a farmer for the land that his father had. Angry about this, he swears that he will make his son a cricket player, and fulfill his father's wish.
The story then skips four years later, after the birth of his son, Guzafir. While Guzafir is sleeping, Rahul wakes him up, and takes him out to an abandoned field in the village to teach him about cricket. He then tells him about his little dream of making him a cricketer, and this makes young Guzafir motivated. Years move on, and Guzafir is now 12 years old, working on the farm, and playing cricket in the afternoons with either his father, or his village friend, a young teen addict, who also serves as his trainer.
The other side of the story deals with a young college boy who comes to the village as he hears that the village lacks a proper school. He feels sorry that the kids have to work out in the open, without a building to be situated in. He then befriends the village chief, Neel, to fund a school for the village, and once built, is the teacher along with his other college friends.
The village is ultimately excited about the construction of the school, especially the kids. But Rahul doesn't want his son to go to school, as he feels it will distract him from his cricket future, but after his wife convinces him, he lets Guzafir go.
Guzafir, upon attending school, finds out that he is intelligent, and begins to love school. The college student, impressed by Guzafir's talent, approaches his parents one day to tell them that his son should go on to college to get a degree, but Rahul states that he is going to make his son a cricket player, no matter what.
To prove his point, Rahul takes his son to a city cricket academy for tryouts, but sadly, Guzafir doesn't make it. Angry at this, he tortures Guzafir for not making it, and breaks down. The next day, while sleeping, Rahul wakes him up again, and tells him that he will no longer be going to school, and will spend everyday playing cricket to prepare for the tryouts next year. Rahul first makes him run for about 13 miles, threatening the denial of food or water if he doesn't run it, and then makes him play cricket late into the night, and even though his wife begs him to let him go to school and to end this madness, the father doesn't give in. The college student, noticing that his star pupil isn't here, realizes this, and goes again to his home for a conference. Rahul states that he never valued education, and believes that sports is the only method for him to give his son a good life...
 
I like loglines of 25 words to see if the story grabs me. Spielberg said that if you can tell a compelling story idea in 25 words or less it will likely make a profit. How would you word your story in 25 words to pull me into the theater or to watch it on Netflix (telling me the flawed protagonist, goal, antagonist; An orphan farm-boy trains to become a Jedi knight to save a princess and the galaxy from an evil Emperor in command of a Death Star.)?
 
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well, first if you get an idea, do not publish it on the net unless you want to give it away.
then , this kind of story probably already exist in several flavour, so try to document some movies doing it and what great you find in each of them.
In this case you would see some dual story, interleaved scenes, (the old one in black and white and the new one in color) of 2 childs dealing with this dream.
one will fail , the other could eventually succeed (let the ending open). both story would meet at some point to make clear the the old story is the cause of the new story.
 
I agree there are some loglines I would never share except among close friends and some local coffee shop baristas, but maybe other loglines are less high concept and could be discussed here-- and then deleted once the discussion has reached some point, so the logline is not public on the web for eternity. Long stretch from a logline to a polished screenplay. :) We are looking here at a logline of some sort for a story of dreams, overcoming obstacles, rags to riches, achieving fame, etc. A poor Indian boy struggles against all odds to become India's most famous cricket player of all time; could be a starting statement to craft a logline. Probably some variations of that have been written into screenplays by a hundred writers. So what will this story's logline be? The details of the story should be kept off the radar then by the writer.
 
ok, back to the original question "Would someone want to make this into a film?".

Why are you asking that ?, assuming you can do a movie from almost anything. I mean, if it is your original idea and you like it, you are probably the best person to tell.
There are 2 ways to make a movie from an idea. Personal work, and in that case you do not need to be understood, you just need technical help.
The other way is team work, and you have to share and find people who love the idea and add their own vision to it.
Provided India is still on a cheap side and get a huge movie industry, you could probably easily find ressource to shoot that.
Would be totally different if shot in USA or Europe.....
The main problem with what you described is that it is still pretty fuzzy or too common , there are still missing few strong points that makes this story THE story.
In your case, you have to work the characteres more than the story line, because the story line here is generated by the characters.
You have to show love turning to hate, quest for success turning to failure, hope, redemption etc....
and all that must suggested, not explained...
My best guess is if you can turn that into a good book, you would easily turn it into a good movie.
 
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Thanks for the tips. The theme of this story is how certain dreams can become such an obsession that they begin to cause harm to the people they are projected towards. The father, rahul, has this dream of making his son a cricket star, and becomes very obsessed with it, by taking his son out in the dead of night, and teaching him cricket, even though his wife pleads that he shouldn't do this. He makes his son play even with injuries or broken bones, even though the village doctor tells him that his son shouldn't play with them. Any way I can project this this theme more clearly?
 
The protagonists are the college student and the boy, Guzafir, and the antagonist is the father, who is conflicting with Guzafir's intellectual ability by forcing him to play cricket. In the end, Guzafir escapes from the cricket academy ( after making it) and goes away with the college student, to start and intellectual career. The college student then sends a letter to Guzafis's father's home, stating that is son is safe with him, and instead of pursuing a cricket career, will go to school, and get an education.
:)
 
So can you write out your story in 25 words or less, explaining the protagonist, his flaw, his visible goal to resolve by the end of the story, and the antagonist who opposes the protagonist's goal? Even better if you can weave into those 25 words the relationship subplot or ally. I think that would clarify your story and help see of it is marketable.

With help from a shark hunter and a marine biologist, a sheriff afraid of water must protect his coastal village by killing a monstrous shark. (Jaws)
 
As an englishman i'd be very interested in the story. However you have a few problems in your story

1.Can you explain why he can't do both. i.e Go to college and play cricket. In the U.K i did just that-i went to university,played cricket and had several trials at various counties (teams). In America i understand most pro sportmen play at college. So you need to establish why there has to be a choice. I don't know how the college system works in India. In the U.K you can get a loan from the government and you only pay it back when you're able to (earning over 20k). Say there is no assistance in India then you have a great plot device there. Say the father had been saving all his life so he could either support his son's cricket career or college education. Choice=drama.

2. Most children who are 'forced' by parents to do something normally lose complete interest. Again you need to esablish the child's desire in playing cricket. Otherwise when it comes to deciding between school and cricket there is no real choice. He must love both. Why don't you also make the father also value education. Then you have real internal conflict.

3. He fails at the cricket tryouts-so at the end the child doesn't really have a choice. His only logical choice is to go to school. He needs to be good at cricket as well as intelligent.

You also need to consider what your story really is about. In my eyes it's not just about a father son relationship , but a story about how you escape poverty, about how one moves up in society and what a college degree is worth. Which in the U.K, at least, is a very valid question. We have millions of graduates either unemployed, or in jobs which require no degree i.e dead end jobs, and there is great debate about the value of college education.

Andy
 
He can't do both because of the status of family in which he resides in. The father is uneducated, and as a result, he doesn't really understand the value of education. The father's father tried to make his son a cricketing star, but failed to do so, because of his untimely death. Plus, the sheer college costs, and and just because of this inner passion to make his son just a cricketing star, are other reasons as to why he can't do both. And he doesn't just want him to play cricket, he wants him to join the India cricket team!

When his father first introduces him to cricket, he basically goes easy on the son, and the son basically feels some sort of inner passion for the sport. But, once he starts going to the new school that the college kids build in the village to promote better education, he suddenly gets a strong aptitude for reading and writing, which concerns the father, as he feels it will turn him away from his actual dream. Then there are the tryouts, which the kid miserably fails at, possibly because he just wasn't ready, or was distracted by something that happened to him earlier.

Yes, he does fail at the academy, but that doesn't mean that his stubborn father will lose hope! He cuts the boy's education, to prevent him from recieving any further distractions from the teacher, and begins training him for net year's tryouts. He trains him painfully, even making him play with or without injuries or broken bones!
 
....Ok.

Having the father just continue to push this dream even though his son could achieve something intellectually, and isn't good enough at playing cricket (at least for now) is something of a tragic ending. Is that the ending?

You seem to have the father worked out. He's incredibly ambitious, which is an admirable quality. But he's too ambitious-to such a degree that he resorts to tyranny. You have your father/king archetype sorted to a tee.

I still don't really hear the voice of the son. His father seems to want this really strongly-to a point where he's abusing the boy. What is the boy's reactions thoughts on this. What are his actions, his desires etc. Surely he makes a decision here. He can't just sit there for the entire film and get bullied and walked over.

One voice i think you could really explore is the grandfather, and his relationship with Rahul.

To be honest i've already got tens of ideas of how to write this, characters,plots etc, and i could write you a huge list which would span ten pages on this thread, but i'm worried i would take over this project and muddle your vision for the film so i won't.

My suggestion is to just write it. Write the screenplay or get someone to write it. See what you have at the end and start (re)building from there. When you have that i'd love to read it.

In response to your question i would love to make this film. I love cricket, it has issues about fathers (what son doesn't have father issues), and it's the old age battle of intellect vs physicality.
 
I have already begun to write this. Any suggestions as to how I can develop the boy will be helpful:)

The ending is sort of a happy one, where the boy is taken to the cricket academy for the second time, and makes it into the team, after a year of harsh, depressing training. To celebrate, the boy's father, Rahul, goes out for a drink, and gets completely drunk when he gets home. On the day of his admittance to the team, the college kid/teacher is also on the verge of leaving, now that he has hired a local villager for a teacher.

The boy then escapes from home, writing a letter to his father stating that he fears that his father will continue to punish and torture him, and will go to the college student for a better life in academics, which he has always had more interest in.

The father wakes up in the morning searching for his son, but instead finds the letter, and goes to the school's teacher to get help deciphering it ( he is illiterate). Upon hearing the contents of the letter, he goes crazy, and loses complete control of himself.

the kid, however, is with the college kid, starting a whole new life.

If you have suggestions for a tragic ending, please let me know :)
thanks
 
Here is my log line: In a poor village of India, a young boy must decide whether to fulfill his father's dream of becoming a cricket star, or to follow an academic pathway paved by an ambitious college student.

Hopefully this is good.
 
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