What do you look for when evaluate a screenplay?

I try to avoid "we see" as much as possible. I know many actors who just read the dialogue initially to get a sense of whether they might be interested it giving it a closer read. Directors/ producers may be a different story. I have read as I recall very early drafts by an academy award winner (screenplay) that was chock full of "we see" . Avoid we see if you can but don't lose sleep over it, the story is what really matters.
 
But if you are writing the script purely for yourself, as an indie you will direct, and you do not need feedback so much from others for rewrites, then you can write it pretty much any way you want to, including any font, any style, break any rules-- so just have fun. :2vrolijk_08:

But even in that scenaria, bitMaestro is quite correct -- you still want to attract investors and talent to your project. You want to draw them into the story, make them eager to turn the pages to see what happens next. You want actors salivating over the roles, prepared to fight each other tooth and nail to be a part of your production. You want investors so excited over the story that they will open their purse strings wide.

You won't get this by "concise and competent writing". You'll get it by sizzle. You'll get it by drawing the readers into your story and keeping them there.

"We see" reminds the reader that he is not the focus of your attention -- some vague multitude is. It pulls him out of the reality for just a moment. Maybe longer.

"A bomb is hidden under the table." does nothing to flesh out the scene or create the proper drama. First you make the reader like your characters. Then you put them into a very real danger -- by making a bomb that's VERY real. This requires description.

It's true that you don't want to be overly verbose. You don't want too much brevity either. Good writing is an art. It's the painting of mental pictures. Do it well.
 
"You won't get this by concise and competent writing. You'll get it by sizzle.".
Agree.
To me that means first and foremost dialogue that an actor salivates for. That seems counter intuitive to what everyone says that film is a visual medium and great movies can be viewed silent. I'm not disagreeing with anything about telling a great story that holds the readers attention, you have to do that. I'm saying no one will look at those elements if the dialogue is dog-crud or average. Most of the time an actor will open it up to see how you deal with the dialogue first, maybe a page or two. If a line will embarrass the actor, that script is history. You'll never get a chance to show them how well you deal with the visual aspects of your story. You win them on how well you deal with dialogue they will give you all the slack in the world with descriptions and you can stick all the cornball camera moves and "we see" you want in.
"Good writing is an art. It's the painting of mental pictures."
You can paint all the mental painting you want but if the dialogue sucks or is average it is all for nothin".
 
"You won't get this by concise and competent writing. You'll get it by sizzle.".
Agree.
To me that means first and foremost dialogue that an actor salivates for. That seems counter intuitive to what everyone says that film is a visual medium and great movies can be viewed silent. I'm not disagreeing with anything about telling a great story that holds the readers attention, you have to do that. I'm saying no one will look at those elements if the dialogue is dog-crud or average. Most of the time an actor will open it up to see how you deal with the dialogue first, maybe a page or two. If a line will embarrass the actor, that script is history. You'll never get a chance to show them how well you deal with the visual aspects of your story. You win them on how well you deal with dialogue they will give you all the slack in the world with descriptions and you can stick all the cornball camera moves and "we see" you want in.
"Good writing is an art. It's the painting of mental pictures."
You can paint all the mental painting you want but if the dialogue sucks or is average it is all for nothin".

Fair enough. Though an actor's main concern should be the development of his character, which includes more than dialogue. He should also be concerned about the vehicle itself -- it's no good to have amazing dialogue in an otherwise mundane story. But you're right, the FIRST thing an actor will look at is the dialogue. It's just not the ONLY thing.

And you have to worry about investors too. What will they look at? They want a gripping, riveting, engaging, interesting, well fleshed out, well told story. Not just "We see a bomb hidden under the table."

IMHO.
 
I'm not disagreeing with you chapelgrovefilms, I'm saying far to often dialogue/character is a secondary thought in these thread discussion and we spend time on whether "we see" is correct. It is a fair question that should be asked and answered.
A lot of writers spend so much of their energy bemoaning the fact that they can't get their stuff read, or sold or produced. Write great dialogue. Write great dialogue and you will get in the door. It doesn't happen over night, and most people consider it tedious and boring to learn those skills (it takes years and constant work). Maybe because writing good dialogue can be learned but it is hard to teach. It is one of those fairly mercurial skills that will get you work, that actors instantly recognize, and that can't be argued with. Everything else is really subjective but actors will recognize it (they can't write it) but they sure know what isn't. Actors with power will fight tooth and nail for you and your stories once they believe in you. Far to many writers shoot them selves in the head by not having excellent dialogue and than wonder what went wrong because all the plot points worked perfectly. Okay you can get the pitchforks out now.
 
Actor's dream of sinking their chops into meaningful dialog. They dream of it.

The biggest blunder most "screenwriters" make is putting subtext into the mouths of their characters
 
Watch and listen carefully to a really great actor read your screenplay back to you before you send it off. You will learn so much about where you actually are as a screenwriter. Much more valuable than any mfa screenwriting program.
 
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