What do you guys think?

Robbie Comeau

Robbie Comeau

Como's back. back again
Hey, I want to make a new 10 minute short, and hopefully get it nice on DVD, an have some DVD cases for it, and maybe sell it for a few bucks.

Here's an idea for a horror/saw like type of movie.

This guy has dreams, and whenever he has them (their always about suicide), he is ACTUALLY sleepwalking. And right before he is about to do damage to him self, he waks up, and he is ACTUALLY about to do it.

Hard to get? Here's an example.

So say the guy is dreaming, and the audience knows this, and he has a hammer. He is about to bash him self in the teeth really hard, and right when he is about to do it, he wakes up, WITH a HAMMEr in his hands, ABOUT to do the same action.

Get it? I th ink its a neat idea because he can keep having these dreams, and he has to figure out what's gonig on before he realyl does kill himself

give me some ideas, and tell me what you think...My problem is how can he over come this problem?

Thanks

-Robbie
 
Just started writing, here's what i got so far.

int. basement. night

17 year old MIKE is sitting on his futon late at night, watching TV. The controller is in his right hand, with his other hand on the futon, laying flat down.

NICK (V.O.)

Have you ever had a dream where it felt so real, that you could of sworn it was real? I can't describe the dreams I have, but their scaring me. There terrifying and ruining my life. Their like dreams, and then reality. In my dreams I'm doing awful things to my self, and then I wake up, and I'm doing the same thing within my dream. The things I'm doing to my self are suicidal, and it could get bad. Ha, I'm just lucky I wake up on time.

TITLE "DREAMALITY"
Click to expand...

(ps, you like the title? It's the title for now......)
 
TheComo said:
Hard to get? Here's an example.

So say the guy is dreaming, and the audience knows this, and he has a hammer. He is about to bash him self in the teeth really hard, and right when he is about to do it, he wakes up, WITH a HAMMEr in his hands, ABOUT to do the same action.

Get it? I th ink its a neat idea because he can keep having these dreams, and he has to figure out what's gonig on before he realyl does kill himself


Thanks

-Robbie
Click to expand...

I don't get it. Can you run it by me again?
 
Well the guy keeps having these awful dreams of him trying to kill him self, or hurt him self, and right before hes about to do the damage in his dream, he WAKES UP! and hes about to do in real life, what he was doing in his dream
 
Have him sleepwalk into a bank, with a fake gun. Then, when the police show up; he walks out to the street waving his gun at cops pretending he's going to shoot and just before the cops open fire, he wakes up. Then he has to figure out how to get out of that situation before they kill him.

I forgot what's the name of this type of suicide.

Ohh you could also have him take like, a $hit load of childrens extra strength tylenol and try to commit suicide that way. When he wakes up he's all drugged up and no where near a phone so he has to try to walk to a hospital, but it will be really hard to stay awake and his vision all blurred and he has to make it before he passes out in the middle of an alley and dies.

he could also wake up in the lions den at the zoo, that would be cool.
 
You should begin the movie like this.

Brian (v.o.)
You ever had a dream of falling?
and just right before you hit the ground
you wake up...well I heard if you hit
the ground in your dreams you die
in real life.

Camera paves back from his face and he finds himself on the ledge of a building as he's jumping off. Then he wakes up.

Cut to:

Then you start the rest of the movie. The ending, should be the opening sequence but this time he never wakes up. because if you hit the ground in a dream you die in real life.

Sorry about writing all this i'm just really bored at work.
 
TheComo said:
int. basement. night

17 year old MIKE is sitting on his futon late at night, watching TV. The controller is in his right hand, with his other hand on the futon, laying flat down.

NICK (V.O.)

Have you ever had a dream where it felt so real, that you could of sworn it was real? I can't describe the dreams I have, but their scaring me. There terrifying and ruining my life. Their like dreams, and then reality. In my dreams I'm doing awful things to my self, and then I wake up, and I'm doing the same thing within my dream. The things I'm doing to my self are suicidal, and it could get bad. Ha, I'm just lucky I wake up on time.

TITLE "DREAMALITY"
Click to expand...


The entire point of the film medium is to show things visually rather than having somebody tell it to you bluntly. It's an interesting concept, but you should really think about doing a story outline or plot outline before you write it. I don't mean to offend you, but that really isn't a good start imho. The use of voice over is fine, but I don't think that 10 seconds into your film you should have the main character explain your entire concept, then bring up the title. You're rushing into this for the sake of having an idea. An idea that is poorly presented is going to look poor, regardless of how great the idea is itself.

Also, check your grammar and look up the difference between there, they're, and their.
 
why doe she have to be 17 though? is it because it's around your age? if it is don't do that. Dont picture yourself as your main character.
 
Well noone wants to act for me, but my one friend adam. And he likes to act, so i just use him for all my films, and then extra people who i can find
 
even if i put like 23, 14, 30, does it make a difference? Noon'es going to read the script and be like, hey in the movie he's 17, and in the script it says hes 26! Im not even going to mention his age in the movie probally.
 
the age of the person can be dependent on the reason for his condition. in other words, why does he have these suicidal dream episodes? What does it stem from? Maybe he murdered someone he loved - his son or daughter perhaps. In that case, he would need to be in his 40s or so.
 
How does it end? What is the pay-off? What does he figure out? Has his mother been slipping Drano in his food? If he's on a journey to find out why this is happening what does he end up finding in the end? Damn!... I have an idea for ya Como...
Twist the ending completely... Have him on a journey to find out why this is happening... From what I gather THREE is the magic number for these types of dream occurrences as in (three times) Let him (us the audience) figure just a little about why this is happening... or more or less lead us to believe why this is happening...
and for the pay-off... Twist it... The truth has always been that he has already killed himself and that this is some sort of hell on earth he will have to deal with for eternity. He could be greeted by a man posing as god/angel/messenger to explain this in the end. Throw a friend in as an antagonist, that keeps telling him he's crazy with all this dream stuff. You could build allot on that for conflict and moving a narative... Also you need a reason why he wants to kill himself and why he did kill himself in the first place... How about he couldn't deal with the fact that he betrayed this friend/antagonist.

ehh... food for thought...

I think you've had some interesting ideas lately and I'm very anxious to see one of your shorts come to life.
I highly recommend you buy a few books on the subject of cinematic storytelling. I think you would gain so much from them. Pick up Save the Cat, Story, Lew Hunters 434...
 
17 means he goes to high school, 26 mean he has a job. There's big diffrences in their state of mind between teenagers and adults.
 
NC17z said:
How does it end? What is the pay-off? What does he figure out? Has his mother been slipping Drano in his food? If he's on a journey to find out why this is happening what does he end up finding in the end? Damn!... I have an idea for ya Como...
Twist the ending completely... Have him on a journey to find out why this is happening... From what I gather THREE is the magic number for these types of dream occurrences as in (three times) Let him (us the audience) figure just a little about why this is happening... or more or less lead us to believe why this is happening...
and for the pay-off... Twist it... The truth has always been that he has already killed himself and that this is some sort of hell on earth he will have to deal with for eternity. He could be greeted by a man posing as god/angel/messenger to explain this in the end. Throw a friend in as an antagonist, that keeps telling him he's crazy with all this dream stuff. You could build allot on that for conflict and moving a narative... Also you need a reason why he wants to kill himself and why he did kill himself in the first place... How about he couldn't deal with the fact that he betrayed this friend/antagonist.

ehh... food for thought...

I think you've had some interesting ideas lately and I'm very anxious to see one of your shorts come to life.
I highly recommend you buy a few books on the subject of cinematic storytelling. I think you would gain so much from them. Pick up Save the Cat, Story, Lew Hunters 434...
Click to expand...

I thought about the whole purgetory idea at first, but then it just seems so obviouse, dont you think? and it seems so overdone.
 
Thanks guys..

NC17, so your saying that the guy is ALREADY dead? So he can be a ghost!

Check out my stale blood film, in the user films section
 
yeah i would make some of the situations more extreme. he shouldn't always wake up right before something happens, that will get very old.

I like the idea of drinking poison, like bleach. You could have him wake up as he is doing it. He stops and is able to call 911. As he is in the hospital having his stomach pumped thats when he can talk to the doctors and tell them what is going on with him. Then you can go into the storyline of "how do I stop this from happening".

keep working at it.
 
TheComo said:
Thanks guys..

NC17, so your saying that the guy is ALREADY dead? So he can be a ghost!
Click to expand...

I wouldn't put the emphasis on being dead I would put it more on the fact that he has already committed the act of suicide and now has to deal with these re-occurring sequences of suicide in different ways in order to induce the pain on his soul for what he has done. This is now his life. As a result of... You have to begin with the end in mind!

I once knew a guy who tried to commit suicide by tyeing a 100 foot extension cord to a a telephone pole and then tied the other end around his next got in his car and drove away really fast... They had to pry his fingers from the steering wheel... That would be a cool shot in itself for you to try and pull off... introduce the friend at this point. Have the friend pull his fingers from the steering wheel... and then shoot some in car narative... "I woke up this way" "No, Really, I did" "Bull **** you did", What the hell is going on? Is this because I touched your leg in the movie theater during Pirates of the Caribian Three"? LOL!... I just remembered they're 17 years in age... I'm kidding with the whole touch the leg thing... Lol... I turn everything it to comedy sometimes...
 
TheComo said:
why did you have to pry the fingers from the wheel!?
Click to expand...
I should of put more empahsis that he tried to commit suicide however, never drove the car away. His intentions were to drive away real fast.
 
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