Watch and critique a commercial I did

[ecd]

I made a commercial for a local company running a contest and it's the first thing I've produced in about 5 years. People have been telling me it's good but what I'd prefer is you folks to pick it apart so I know what I should be improving on.

 

[Steve_Karl]

I'd compress the dialogue audio, to level out some of the low spots and try to get it closer to dynamically flat.
Then re level it with the music.
I think the problem was that they're not articulate enough in the performance, but you can probably make it better.
It's not a major issue, but it's obviously not on a pro level because of it.