Want some advice on my script

Oetam

Oetam

Active member
Hi everyone,

I'm currently working on a project and I have a -decent- script to work with I think.
Some of you may know my previous short "Day in the Life of a Bicycle" and this going to be completely different.

It's a short drama about a guy of my age (15,16) and he's fed up with school, he is depressed and he just doesn't see the point of "life" and society.

I'm looking for some people who can give some constructive criticism and just help me improve the script.
It doens't have to be too long I'd be happy with a mid size review and what you think could improve.

I hope you can help me out. Tell me if you are interested.

Here is my last short:

 
Oetam said:
Hi everyone,

I'm currently working on a project and I have a -decent- script to work with I think.
Some of you may know my previous short "Day in the Life of a Bicycle" and this going to be completely different.

It's a short drama about a guy of my age (15,16) and he's fed up with school, he is depressed and he just doesn't see the point of "life" and society.

I'm looking for some people who can give some constructive criticism and just help me improve the script.
It doens't have to be too long I'd be happy with a mid size review and what you think could improve.

I hope you can help me out. Tell me if you are interested.

Here is my last short:

Click to expand...
I am not an expert in scripts, but I would read it for you and give you an opinion and maybe some ideas.
 
Not volunteering to read your script (bit snowed under here), but just wanted to congratulate you on your short film (Bicycle).
Really good work! I look forward to seeing your next projects.
 
Thanks, Wilbur. I'd love to hear your opinion on the finished film.

mikecazzx said:
I am not an expert in scripts, but I would read it for you and give you an opinion and maybe some ideas.
Click to expand...
That would be great. I'm working on an english translation and the second draft now, it'll be ready in a hour or so. If you PM your mail I'll send you the .doc file. I won't spam you or anything.
 
I have to say you're last script is very interesting and original, I enjoyed it. If you need any more help with your next script, i'd be more then welcome to review it as well.
 
Thanks.
Sure, I'd really appreciate that. The new one isn't that original tough... you'll see.
I'll just host it online somewhere and send you guys a PM with the link... that seems easier.
You'll have it when this draft is done.

If anyone else is interested just post here and I'll send you the PM.
 
Send it this way, I'll give it a look if you want. I'm an aspiring writer myself and am currently working on my second feature. I am not a professional, but I majored in English Literature and took some grad courses. I realize that has nothing to do with actually creating a work of one's own, but it does help in analyzing.
 
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