The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

[Kirk Gillock]

Here's where you can post your favorite quote from America's favorite family, The Simpsons. Try to only post quotes, so we can create a clean thread and a database of hilarious comedy.


Marge (on telephone): "Homer, Mr. Burns says, 'If you don't come into work today, DON'T bother coming in on Monday!'"

Homer: WooHoo!!! Three day weekend!

 

[Phil]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Ralph: "It tastes like burning..."

 

[TC]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Homer: Hey that's great. I think I'll eat some mayonaise.

 

[Kirk Gillock]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Ms. Hoover: Ralph, just put your head on the desk and sleep while the other children learn.

Ralph: Oh boy SLEEP! That's where I'm a viking!

 

[Jim Brennan]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Chief Wiggum:  No, you've got the wrong number, this is 912



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Homer:  Sorry, I can't come to work, it's the Feast of the Maximum Occupancy

 

[TC]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

This is all one scene; and it is, in my oppinion, comic perfection.

Homer: Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work! Sometimes I think God is teasing me...just like he teased Moses in the desert.

Marge: Tested, Homer! God tested Moses. And try to be nice to my sisters. It's very hard on me to have you fighting all the time.

Homer: Oh, OK Marge, I'll get along with them. Then, I will hug some snakes...yes! Then, I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes. Now that's sarcasm.

 

[Phil]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

HAHA, I love that quote!!! You know me and my family ever since the first episodes (no not the ones on the Tracey Ullman show) we used to sit and watch them...good times...

 

[Kirk Gillock]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Mr. Burns: Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destory the Sun!

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Ralph (confused): My cats breath smells like catfood.

 

[David Jimerson]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Ralph (falling down on his Star Wars figures): I bent my Wookiee.

 

[booggerg]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Smithers... there's a rocket in my pocket!

Hello! that sounds like a silo tipping over!

And because I have completed all of my goals  in the first term, there was no need for a second term.

We're steel workers, we work hard, we play hard..

Hey do you know how to cook?  DO I ?!

Oh Magies.. you bring me a turkey.. on my trip away from workie...

And we played dungeons and dragons for 3 hours.. then I was slain by an elf...

 

[J_Barnes]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

"Hi Supernintendo Chommers, I'm learnding!"

"I'm Idaho!" "Get off the stage, Ralphie"

"Mrs. Krabapple, my worm crawled into my mouth and I ate it."

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"My mommy says scabs are nature's bandages."

"Slow down, Bart. My legs don't know how to be as long as yours."

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I just kept my finger out of there!"

 

[Kirk Gillock]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Ahhh that hurts.  ;D

Ralph: "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

Homer: "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

Homer: "Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."

Homer: "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Mr. Burns: "I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant."

Chief Wiggum: "No jury in the world is going to convict a baby ... Maybe Texas."

Apu: "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!"

Bartender Moe: "Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything."

Principal Skinner: "That's two independent thought alarms in one day. Willie, the children are over-stimulated. Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms."

Bart: "Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa."

 

[Frizzle Fry]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Homer: "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

Grampa Simpson: "Hello-o? Hello-o! You have my pills! Hello-o? I'm cold, and there are wolves after me."

 

[Jim Brennan]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Homer: Beer, now there's a temporary solution

 

[BLUESPIDER]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

I used to like the Simpsons but after Family Guy came out, I haven't watched the simpson agian. I hate to say this but I think Family is way more hilarious!!

"hey there newspaper boy, are you here to bring me the gooood news?"

 

[TC]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Family Guy is great, but Simpsons is timeless. After 2 years of watching the same episodes, you'll get bored with the jokes. I can watch an episode from season 1 of the simpsons, that I've seen a million times and still find humor in it.

Skinner: "Hello, I'm principal sinner."
*Children laugh uproariously*
Skinner: "Well I've lost them forever."

 

[bodaphoto]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

Out of nowhere Homer blurts:" Off to the book depository!"

 

[kitsu]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

"Oh, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there."

"There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome" (I am a sport kite competitor).

"Well of course you're going to have bad memories of New York if all you can think of are the pimps and the chuds."

"Go banana!"

 

[Shaw]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

so many of the good ones are taken already!

"mmm puurple..."

"ooh I'd sell my soul for a donut"

 

[booggerg]

Re: The Simpsons: Favorite Quote

"homer! quit eating yourself!"... "But I'm so delicious..."