The DVX syndrome

filmelife

filmelife

Well-known member
do you ever like get the feeling, i wanna shoot a film but not have to carry so much equipment around.

I have a bunch of gear, but i always stress out, and feel like just pointing and shooting. or wish i can light it in post

heck sometimes i wish there was a software which has plug connected to your head, and you can just imagine your film.

but i guess that wouldnt be adventerous. just a thought
 
Re: The DVX syndrome

2 days in the hospital...the plug in your head thing doesn't work...

DVX-more equipment, but a lot less painful :)
 
Re: The DVX syndrome

hmmm... yeah i got a great idea. let me use all your equiptment. Ill go shot the movie and edit it. And we can call it a day!
 
Re: The DVX syndrome

Mental filmmaking exists. It's a very very old art form. We, mental filmmakers, have a name for it in our jargon. We call that "a dream". But shhhhhh... this is a secret.

I do one or two every night, but most of them are really giga-lynchian so I have to edit them in post.

My editor is great — the greatest. He is called Sigmund. He has a beard, an unbearable cigar smell, and an incomprehensible austrian accent. His fees are quite expensive though, but the good side of his editing technique is that he makes you very confortable. You'll lay down on a divan and just tell him your mental film. He'll take plenty of notes and remain silent most of the time. Once in a while, he'll say things like : "Yes. Dis is very inderinsding, herr Ducher. Condinue on dis vay, I feel dere is a promising drack here..." Sessions are fifty minutes long and you have to pay him cash every time — he's quite inflexible on that part.

The editing process takes a while, a loooooooong while.

Fourteen years (and $3.000.000) later, you get your film edited, with an appalling final coup de théâtre : you've been sexually aroused by your grand-aunt when you were four but she was fifty years older and the romance turned out to be impossible because she was in love with her chiwawa : Blitzy. One day, out of despair, you poisoned the four legged rival in order to make your love story possible. But it didn't work as you expected : broken with sorrow, your grand-aunt retired in a carmelite convent in Argentina. This trauma prevented you from having any sexual relationship before the age of thirty seven, when you married a kennels owner who, since then, has made your life a yelping hell.

The film is very depressing. You feel it's gonna be difficult, if not impossible, to turn it into a blockbuster with such a sad ending. You think about re-editing it for a while, but your production's account is way below sea level : the austrian editor has eaten all the money.

So you gather all your credit cards, go on the Internet and buy yourself a DVX100 with plenty of gear to express your trauma to the world via more orthodox (and cheaper) ways.

Believe me : mental filmmaking is not a piece of cake. Stick with your camera, my friend.
 
Re: The DVX syndrome

Anartiste,

You're clever wit is a delight to read. ;D

Each of your posts manages to intertwine some real info and humor in such a way that they are works of art themselves.

You're the man! ...or whatever they may say in France.

Terry
 
Re: The DVX syndrome

Homme?

Took me a while watching "Fantastic Planet" to figure out that they were calling humans "hommes," i.e., "men," instead of "Ohms," which is what the subtitles said.
 
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