The age old debate finally solved: Vin Diesel vs Chuck Norris

L

lucidz

Well-known member
For those of you who have seen the fact generators this will make plenty of sense to you.

For those that haven't:

Vin Diesel fact generator: http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

Chuck Norris fact generator: http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

Now without further ado: The fight is on!


Birth:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
Punched his way out of the womb and grew a beard

Vin Diesel:
Had intercourse with 2 women while in the womb, instantly laid at birth

----> Advantage: Norris <----



Celebrity Interaction:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
kicked the devil in the head to steal his soul back.
Vin Diesel:
Is so scary the boogeyman checks his closet for Vin.

----> Advantage: Norris <----



Movement:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
chuck is incredibly sneaky

Vin Diesel:
has two speeds, walk and kill

----> Advantage: Vin Diesel <----



Killing Ability:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
can kill with a single roundhouse

Vin Diesel:
can kill with just a look

----> Advantage: Vin Diesel <----



Diet:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
eats 3 72s oz steaks in 15 minutes

Vin Diesel:
lives on bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

----> Advantage: Vin Diesel <----



Dietary Accomplishments:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
Chuck ate "a ****ing indian"

Vin Diesel:
ate every unicorn in existence, before coining the phrase "i could eat a horse"

----> Advantage: Vin Diesel <----



Cosmic abilities:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
The mere speaking of his name cures blindness

Vin Diesel
knows the answer to the secret of the universe (42)

----> Advantage: Norris <----



Special Abilities:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
Can vomit cooked food and create cranberry sauce from thin air

Vin Diesel:
Can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass... at night...

----> Advantage: Norris <----



Fear Factor:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
Chuck has actually been dead for 10 years but the grim reaper is too scared to tell him.

Vin Diesel:
Waldo is in hiding because of vin.

----> Advantage: Norris <----



Sexual:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
Wonders why people complain about 4 hour erections. Chuck is known to have erections lasting 15 days or more.

Vin Diesel:
Walked into a small town with an erection, there were no survivors.

----> Advantage: Vin Diesel <----



Sexual Tricks:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
can make women (feel really good) by simply looking at them and saying booya

Vin Diesel:
Enjoys using women as contraceptive devices on other women.

----> Advantage: DEFINITELY Vin Diesel <----


Academic:
_________________________________________________________________
Norris:
Aced his SAT by answering simply chuck norris to every question.

Vin Diesel:
Can divide by 0

----> Advantage: Vin Diesel <----


TOTAL:
Vin Diesel: 7
Chuck Norris: 5

As you can see, its close, but Vin wins by a bicep. Feel free to critique.
The reality of it is however, if these two demi gods ever met, they would most likely recognize each others awesomeness, and simply hang out togethor,
Occassionally playing a game wherein one will destroy the universe and then time the other as he rebuilds it.
 
My two favorites from the the Chuck Norris site:

"When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you."

"When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever."

BTW, you can't leave Seagal out of this debate.
 
Anhar Miah did you click the links? Unless you've seen these old internet jokes my VS will not make any sense :)
 
Shaun Patrick said:
"When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you."
Click to expand...

It's so funny because I used to play this all the time as a kid. Probably when he goes hunting or fishing the animals willing just get in his wagon and after "hunting" the animals there are extinct. Those pesky rattle snakes always bit the people with me.
 
Zack Attack said:
It's so funny because I used to play this all the time as a kid. Probably when he goes hunting or fishing the animals willing just get in his wagon and after "hunting" the animals there are extinct. Those pesky rattle snakes always bit the people with me.
Click to expand...
Yeah me too. In 8th grade if we got all our typing done in computer class we'd get to play it for the rest of the period. Which seems kinda lame now...looking back.
 
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