Beat Takeshi
Two-Hip Shakur
I just wanted to say it out loud.
So the story is that we are out here in Spain shooting B-Roll for this Sponser for one of the shows, this place called Campofrio where they make cured pork products. We basically get off the plane and head straight to the Campo place which is 2 hours from the airport following our guide. No problem, except we rented these freaking TINY cars that have zero power. After shooting we take our small caravan and head to the hotel 2 hours back the other way.
It starts pouring out and the guy we are following has a better car so he starts getting ahead of us and the second car is able to stay behind him but we get cut off by a truck and loose mucho ground. Finally we get around and can't see them anymore and this car can't get around its own shadow. We decide to turn the GPS on and just head there ourselves BUT.... BUT we don't know where the hell it is. I remembered the name so I put it in the GPS and we follow the directions.
2 hours later after we are supposed to make our first turn we find that the GPS is off and telling us to turn when there was no turn we I futz with the GPS some more and reset the directions and now its night time. It sends us to the freaking ass end of nowhere and saying the hotel MiraSierra is coming up. I'm looking around and saying the pictures in the magazine on the plane made this hotel we were looking for look like it was in the middle of a city. Why is a 5 star hotel way out here in west bubblefuk? We make a few turns and the next thing we know the roads turn into practically paths and only one car can fit on them just like them 007 movies and is hilly like a mofo. The GPS keeps saying we are at our destination but we don't see sh!t but broken down building like straight out of that game "Call of Duty". Some world war 2 type sh!t. We decide to keep on going because there is no way that hotel is in this ghost town. We drive through the most twisty, turny, hilly dark place I have ever been. They even have horses eating on the side of the road with no fences. We decide to pull over and see what the hell is wrong with the GPS. It turns out the dam thing was on DEMO and we were following some bullsh!t. So we reset the whole GPS back to factory standards and tell it to find a gas station. It finds something 2 miles away so we start heading there. Its black as hell out there and it puts us right in the middle of nothing, nada, ziltch. I'm like lets turn this ***** around and get out of here because it was like the scene out of a damn horror flick. We punch in 2 more gas stations and the same thing. It puts us off into the middle of nothing. We punch another in and finally we get to a small town with some gas but of course no english spoken here. We manage to get gas and put in the hotel info again and head off back through the back roads. It backtracks us back to that little on the side of a mountain, hilly ass ghost town again and since the roads are SUPER curvy the GPS is shouting out MAKE A LEFT, MAKE A RIGHT, MAKE A LEFT every 2 seconds OMG!!!! SHUT THE FOOK UP!. We finally make our last left and it says we are there....
MiraSierra.....HOSTAL. WTF!!! A hostal? And on top of that it was closed. We peered at it from the car and was like, I'm not going out there. You go. We both stared at this place and was like fook it, lets get out of here. We found what they call a restaurant and all I can hear in the back of my head is "Squeal like a pig" over and over again. So my friend Johnny goes in and I can see by the look on this face we was getting no where. He comes out and was like, fook them. So we drive and drive and get to another town and find this pretty band new newspaper kind of stand that fits one person exactly in it. It was weird like a twilight episode. Maybe it wasn't really there and we just imagined it but we pull over and I get out to see if by some small chance the lady in this place spoke english. Nope. Of course not. I bet there hasn't been an english speaking person around there for years. I started heading back to the car when I remembered that I took down Macgregors number before I left in case we can hook up and went back with this number. I was trying to tell her I wanted to call this and she kept saying something about was the number dinero. I go get Johhny and his broken spanish gets her to dial and phone and I prayed out loud for Mac to pick up. Bingo, he picks up and she hands me the phone. Oh yeah, non of our phones work out here. YAY!!!
He gives me the name of a hospital to go to and from there find a taxi guy and ask how to get there from it. We go back to the car and punch in the name and poof, it shows up on the GPS and we head off to finally get to where we had to get to and a very nice place this is. Oops,Time to work. Will add some more later. Thanks a million Mac!!!
So the story is that we are out here in Spain shooting B-Roll for this Sponser for one of the shows, this place called Campofrio where they make cured pork products. We basically get off the plane and head straight to the Campo place which is 2 hours from the airport following our guide. No problem, except we rented these freaking TINY cars that have zero power. After shooting we take our small caravan and head to the hotel 2 hours back the other way.
It starts pouring out and the guy we are following has a better car so he starts getting ahead of us and the second car is able to stay behind him but we get cut off by a truck and loose mucho ground. Finally we get around and can't see them anymore and this car can't get around its own shadow. We decide to turn the GPS on and just head there ourselves BUT.... BUT we don't know where the hell it is. I remembered the name so I put it in the GPS and we follow the directions.
2 hours later after we are supposed to make our first turn we find that the GPS is off and telling us to turn when there was no turn we I futz with the GPS some more and reset the directions and now its night time. It sends us to the freaking ass end of nowhere and saying the hotel MiraSierra is coming up. I'm looking around and saying the pictures in the magazine on the plane made this hotel we were looking for look like it was in the middle of a city. Why is a 5 star hotel way out here in west bubblefuk? We make a few turns and the next thing we know the roads turn into practically paths and only one car can fit on them just like them 007 movies and is hilly like a mofo. The GPS keeps saying we are at our destination but we don't see sh!t but broken down building like straight out of that game "Call of Duty". Some world war 2 type sh!t. We decide to keep on going because there is no way that hotel is in this ghost town. We drive through the most twisty, turny, hilly dark place I have ever been. They even have horses eating on the side of the road with no fences. We decide to pull over and see what the hell is wrong with the GPS. It turns out the dam thing was on DEMO and we were following some bullsh!t. So we reset the whole GPS back to factory standards and tell it to find a gas station. It finds something 2 miles away so we start heading there. Its black as hell out there and it puts us right in the middle of nothing, nada, ziltch. I'm like lets turn this ***** around and get out of here because it was like the scene out of a damn horror flick. We punch in 2 more gas stations and the same thing. It puts us off into the middle of nothing. We punch another in and finally we get to a small town with some gas but of course no english spoken here. We manage to get gas and put in the hotel info again and head off back through the back roads. It backtracks us back to that little on the side of a mountain, hilly ass ghost town again and since the roads are SUPER curvy the GPS is shouting out MAKE A LEFT, MAKE A RIGHT, MAKE A LEFT every 2 seconds OMG!!!! SHUT THE FOOK UP!. We finally make our last left and it says we are there....
MiraSierra.....HOSTAL. WTF!!! A hostal? And on top of that it was closed. We peered at it from the car and was like, I'm not going out there. You go. We both stared at this place and was like fook it, lets get out of here. We found what they call a restaurant and all I can hear in the back of my head is "Squeal like a pig" over and over again. So my friend Johnny goes in and I can see by the look on this face we was getting no where. He comes out and was like, fook them. So we drive and drive and get to another town and find this pretty band new newspaper kind of stand that fits one person exactly in it. It was weird like a twilight episode. Maybe it wasn't really there and we just imagined it but we pull over and I get out to see if by some small chance the lady in this place spoke english. Nope. Of course not. I bet there hasn't been an english speaking person around there for years. I started heading back to the car when I remembered that I took down Macgregors number before I left in case we can hook up and went back with this number. I was trying to tell her I wanted to call this and she kept saying something about was the number dinero. I go get Johhny and his broken spanish gets her to dial and phone and I prayed out loud for Mac to pick up. Bingo, he picks up and she hands me the phone. Oh yeah, non of our phones work out here. YAY!!!
He gives me the name of a hospital to go to and from there find a taxi guy and ask how to get there from it. We go back to the car and punch in the name and poof, it shows up on the GPS and we head off to finally get to where we had to get to and a very nice place this is. Oops,Time to work. Will add some more later. Thanks a million Mac!!!
