Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

S

SandwichGod

Active member
Okay, I just had one of those shining moments just the other night that made me look like a complete imbecile. After reliving the scene over and over in my mind, I thought this would be a great topic to start (so I can feel better about myself). Just share our most embarrassing moments and whatnot.

My night of glory that caused me to start this happened two nights ago. Keep in mind I live in Salisbury, MD and we don't have snow, we have ice. Anyway, some of my friends, which consisted of male the lovely female species, and I went out to eat. We had a good time and all that and I thought the night was going along fine. That was until we left. When we were done with the meal, there was a butt ton of people flowing in through the main entrance. We decided, instead of fighting through the crowd, to take the back door of the restaurant and just walk around to the parking lot. I stepped out the door and saw that there was some ice. No problem I thought. Once everyone was out, being the kind gentleman I am, I warned them, "Be careful it's icy." No sooner than the "cy" left my mouth, I fell flat on my ass and slid down this 14 foot hill in to the middle of a parking lot. There was laughter aplenty. I just laid there hoping a car would back over me ending my humiliation but no such luck.

Well? Your turn.
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

So as not to leave you here all alone and embarassed, I will share only one of many many MANY moments for me.  The doctor I worked for at the time always hosted a formal night out for the staff around Christmastime.  This particular year, we were treated to a very nice dinner at an upscale restaurant and a stage show in the best venue in town.  I was wearing a nice lowcut black dress, above the knee with long sheer sleeves and some killer stilletos.  Our seats were not that great as we had to ascend many stairs to reach them (anyone know where this is going?).  I brought my daughter who was about 6 or 7 yrs old at the time.  The show was in the middle of the first act and I had to use the ladies room.  Not wanting to make it look like I was the one having to get up and interrupt everybody, I took my daughter's hand to make it look like I had to take her instead.  It was dark and there was a railing going down the center of the stair aisle.  Fearing for my daughter's steps, I let her use the railing to hold onto.  Two steps into my descent, I guess the powers that be decided to let me take the rest of the trip down on my belly, because I tripped.  I loosed my daughter's hand and proceeded to body surf about 15 or 20 steps, arms outstretched ahead of me, knees bent and stilletos in the air.  And no one got out of their seats to see if I was alive or dead, but my little girl ran down to me, surefooted I might add, grabbed my face and screamed "Mommy! Are you alright?!"  Of course, I answered, "Yes, baby, but you have to be careful!  You cant trip mommy like that!"  ::)
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

I have never done anything even remotely embarrassing in my entire life.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it... ;)
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

Yo must admit, you would have laughed too. But you're not alone buddy.

I recently locked myself out of apartment. Wearing no pants or shirt. Just my Fruit of the Looms and a physique that Hanes would never want to advertise their product. After a long wait a neighbor, scared to death at first and then started laughing (damn physique!), helped me by calling a "door doctor" (I didn't know the thai word for locksmith). The locksmith came with a group of people who wanted to see the silly foreigner. News travels fast here.

Other than that I embarrass myself on a daily basis because of the language and cultural differences.
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

thartley, yeah, I had a moment like that too at school one time. I could not have done it without the help of my wonderful friend though. We were going to class just like the rest of the mob that trailed behind us going down the stairs. I was in front of my friend when I heard,"Whoa!" He tripped and hit me in my back with such force it knocked the wind out of me. It also knocked my down with him landing on top of me and we sorta tumbled down the rest of the stairs. It was embarrassing at the time, but soon I grew to laugh at it. All of this is nothing compared to what has come to be known as my "Skateland Incident" between me and my friends. :-[
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

Thartley, I love that story. SOmetimes kids are handy for something more than a Tax deduction.
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

[quote author=Jim Brennan link=board=Offtopic;num=1107062470;start=0#5 date=01/31/05 at 08:24:03]Thartley, I love that story. SOmetimes kids are handy for something more than a Tax deduction.[/quote]
Ahhh... cheap labor. ;D
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

Well -- there was this one time at Band Camp...

Actually -- I was conducting the National Anthem with my military band for all the service chiefs, the VP, Neil Armstrong, major media... etc for the opening celebration of the Centennial of Flight at the Air and Space Museum...

Well -- Things weren't going exactly as planned and I had to make a quick decision to shoot off the anthem before we really were set to go. You know, things like the flag team heading on stage, the guest speaker announcing to the audience to stand for the anthem... that kind of thing.

Anyway -- so I cued the drum roll and started in with the anthem... Hmmm, I'm thinking... Something's not right about this (I've conducted our Anthem so many times I often catch myself not thinking about what I'm doing when I'm doing it). Something's not right... hmmm everyone's playing... hmmm everyone's in uniform... hmmmm (quick check) yup fly's up tails are not in my pants... but something's wrong!!!

Oops -- in my rush to give the drum roll I FORGOT TO HAVE THE BAND STAND!!!! Yikes, we ALWAYS stand for the anthem!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH -- I'm fired for sure!

Nothing to do then except give the cut off at the end and have the band stand. Turned around and saluted made it look like that was all there was.

Never heard anything about it after... though... I'm still a captain... hmmmmm

CaptM
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

[quote author=CaptainMench link=board=Offtopic;num=1107062470;start=0#7 date=01/31/05 at 12:20:38]Well -- there was this one time at Band Camp...

Actually -- I was conducting the National Anthem with my military band for all the service chiefs, the VP, Neil Armstrong, major media... etc for the opening celebration of the Centennial of Flight at the Air and Space Museum...

Well -- Things weren't going exactly as planned and I had to make a quick decision to shoot off the anthem before we really were set to go.  You know, things like the flag team heading on stage, the guest speaker announcing to the audience to stand for the anthem... that kind of thing.

Anyway -- so I cued the drum roll and started in with the anthem... Hmmm, I'm thinking... Something's not right about this (I've conducted our Anthem so many times I often catch myself not thinking about what I'm doing when I'm doing it).  Something's not right... hmmm everyone's playing... hmmm everyone's in uniform... hmmmm (quick check) yup fly's up tails are not in my pants... but something's wrong!!!

Oops -- in my rush to give the drum roll I FORGOT TO HAVE THE BAND STAND!!!!  Yikes, we ALWAYS stand for the anthem!!!!   AAAAAAHHHHHH -- I'm fired for sure!

Nothing to do then except give the cut off at the end and have the band stand.  Turned around and saluted made it look like that was all there was.

Never heard anything about it after... though... I'm still a captain... hmmmmm

CaptM[/quote]

We don't want the truth because deep down in places we don't talk about at parties we want CaptainMench on that stage, we need CaptainMench on that stage. He uses words like cadence, dynamics, rhythm. He uses them as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. We use them as a punchline.   ::) :D :)

Good story, Captain.  ;)
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

Believe me... With 60 folks under my command I'm the butt of many punchlines!!

LOL

CaptM
 
Re: Tales of Misfortune and Embarrassment

[quote author=Jim Brennan link=board=Offtopic;num=1107062470;start=0#5 date=01/31/05 at 08:24:03]Thartley, I love that story.  SOmetimes kids are handy for something more than a Tax deduction.[/quote]

Very true! And she doesnt remember half of it! haha!! ;D
 
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