Slugline / scene question (EXT/INT)

Randall_Oelerich

Randall_Oelerich

Veteran
I have a scene, mother in the kitchen at the sink, looks out through the window to see her daughter playing on the swing set in the yard. The scene is INT. KITCHEN but the daughter is EXT. YARD yet the camera is inside the kitchen. Can the entire scene be INT. KITCHEN or would I need to also insert an EXT. YARD scene for the daughter on the swing set? Obviously two actors in two different settings, one INT. the other EXT., but the camera is INT. What is the industry standard way to format the script in this situation, how should it be written?
-randall
 
Whole seen can be INT.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

MOTHER looks out of the window. We see a small girl, DAUGHTER, swinging on a swing set. The sky opens and a MASSIVE BOULDER falls on the daughter, killing her, before shattering into a hundred zombie strippers.

Some people frown on the use of "we see," but I know professional, summer-blockbuster writers who say it's fine to use.
 
LOL. Thanks! And yes I have wondered about the use of "We see...". I keep hearing these days that one should NOT use "We see..." but I keep seeing its use, albeit in scripts written a few years or more ago.

RodThompson said:
... a MASSIVE BOULDER falls on the daughter, killing her, before shattering into a hundred zombie strippers..
Click to expand...
 
We see is only something that writer/directors normally get away with these days. Guaranteed a script editor will pick them up. The pro's might get away with it because they already have a body of work and client base, but starting out I would avoid using it.

Rather I would write it like this:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

MOTHER stands at the sink, she scrubs at the pan. She looks out of the window.

MOTHER'S POV
Her daughter plays on the swing set in the yard.

BACK TO SCENE
 
and sees

and sees

INT. WOODEN CABIN, ACACIA - SUNSET

ELWYN, a ten year old elf boy, looks through a window into the forest and sees Oliver and Annabelle running.

He runs to the front door of the cabin, opens it and goes out.

EXT. FOREST ACACIA - SUNSET

Elwyn through the trees races toward Oliver and Annabelle.
 
Every guru tells you not to use "We see" in your screenplays but...

I used "We see" in my Lemon Tree script. It sold last year. No one said a damn thing about it.

I used "We see" in my Moon Over Unity script. It's circulating right now. My agent didn't say a damn thing about it.

Ultimately, it is up to you. Use your best judgement.

If you've found your voice...

If you have command of the craft and it shows on the page...

If you've written a compelling tale...

Then no one in the business is going to tell you how to write. A lot of established writers use "We see." Some not-so-established writers use it, too. It's your choice.
 
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This is a n00b question but I'm so tired I'm having a brainfart. What if you are just showing an exterior establishing shot? Can you just write (though it looks funny)...

EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

blah blah whatever happens.

Or is there some other way that is done?

Also as for the writer/director argument, there is something to be said for that, because there should be differences in what is tolerated on some levels for someone who is also directing. I've read all of the stuff -- totally logical and reasonable -- about not writing many camera directions into the script, but the fact is if I'm writing it and I'm directing it, i.e. I'm the producer, nobody is hiring me, I'm writing the script to film myself (like a short), then to leave out the camera directions that matter to me is really insane. I don't want to make another whole document about what I was thinking for camera direction, when I only have a few essential thoughts, something like "Jib up from girly slippers to Jay, giving a blank expression as he watches TV" for instance. It's important for me to remember that the humor is sold by this camera move, as we think maybe it's a girl but then we see revealed that it's our protagonist, totally emasculated, wearing the only slippers he has left that his girlfriend bought him, etc.

The same can be said of occasional actor direction I write in it, even though I'm probably open to the actor re-interpreting the way I see the scene, I'm usually wanting to include things I see as essential and don't want to forget. I don't personally see the harm because I follow proper screenplay format, write quality scripts, etc., but the fact is if I'm directing it too, there's no conflict with "the writer trying to tell the director how to do his job," as I am both. I'm not sure what is the standard with that type of thing, but at least that's how I think of it. It's my script, after all.
 
RockmanX3 said:
What kind of movie are you writing?! :shocked:
Click to expand...

Already written, just going back to tweak the 'final draft'. My first feature screenplay, a supernatural thriller. What really stinks, or is great depending on how I look at it, is that I just subscribed to donedealpro.com and looked at recent sales; well, the logline for a recent sale was almost identical to that for my story-- which is actually a good thing I suppose, given the somewhat generic nature of the logline (something along the lines of 'A young couple move into a remote farmhouse with their daughter, and soon discover the dark history of the house blah blah blah'; lots of variations on that logline (The Messengers, Amityville Horror, etc) and I had been worried it had been done to death--apparently not).
 
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