August 12, 2009 KBC MegaNewsCorp:
It has been reported by NASA, through a confidential source, that the current NASA administration has found that this search program has been and will continue to be unfruitful. But insiders are hinting at a new, revamped program to be put in its place. This program will require less funding and personnel, currently reported to be 1.2 billion dollars each year.
The new program, termed SETWNMI, pronounced “Set-Win-Me”, will allow scientists to broaden their horizons in the search for extra-terrestrials.
One scientist, after hearing the news, was quoted as saying “It’s about time. The new SETWNMI Program was the first thing NASA has done right in a long time. The "Search for Extraterrestrials with Not Much Intelligence", will result in more possible leads. Let’s face it, any ET out there with real intelligence would avoid us like the plague.”
“Can you imagine it? Just in this country alone, half the population would try and either kill the being, or capture it for the National Enquirer to be famous and rich. The smart aliens would do well to avoid Earth. So we need to lower our standards if we want to find aliens in space. Maybe we can find the slow, dim-witted ones” The scientist has requested this reporter to not reveal his name or employer.
Further inquiries have uncovered that instead of just listening into space and finding complex patterns, they will just listen for country music, quotes from “Ernest” movies, and aliens saying “Duh, is anyone out there?”.
Scientist remain hopeful of the success of this new program.
