Sales Agents

[Andrew McCarrick]

Where and how would go about securing a sales agent (other than film markets)?

I'm looking to sell a few territories and get estimates for other territories that I could use to secure about $200k in gap financing.

 

[FilmBoy77]

Have you tried just calling them directly? IMDBPRO is probably the only resource you need in terms of contact info, number, email, etc.

$200k in GAP financing equals roughly $320k worth of territories you'd actually have to sell if you factor in the sales agent's 20% commission rate.

 

[Alexa 1]

I'm going to be honest and candid with you concerning your indiegogo page and project. It might ouch a bit, but it is meant to be constructive and also be a reality check. Unless you only care about making a film and not getting any ROI back... I'd think long and hard about making a $1M drama that the market won't support or recoup. Secondly I sincerely hope that your script is written better than the synopsis you've presented on your indiegogo campaign page because the synopsis and log line needs work. Rewrite the synopsis and make it more compelling. There is nothing interesting or dynamic about it. Does the current synopsis draw me in and want to make me give you money for this project? The answer is NO to this... You are trying to raise $750,000... The average crowd funding campaign brings in $5000... You better be very compelling and work night and day at the campaign...

The sentences in your synopsis are neither creative or structured well, i.e.,

"Diamond, 17, and Amber, 15, lives were nearly perfect just 5 years ago, before their younger brother died."

That is one example of the bland writing and awkward sentence structure... Rewrite the synopsis in a more descriptive and compelling way. Make it flow... Here is just a quick example to give you an idea...

"After the sudden death of a sibling, Diamond and Amber's idyllic young lives are thrust into a hellish nightmare of abuse at the hands of their father. Unable to cope with the tragic event, parents Jeff and Erica descend into a dark abyss of depression and alcoholism." etc etc etc

See the difference??? Now something more compelling like that will get someones attention... and make them want to support your project...

I wish you the best of luck with this... but you better cast some flat out "Thespians" with a name if you are to have any chance at success. A low budget no name drama is the worst type of project that you could possibly do in the current market climate... I don't know if you have investors that expect to get paid back or not... I would consider really really lowering the budget of this and paying for only the cast and a couple of good crew members... Just so you know, I speak with sales reps and distributors all the time and know the market well... I would definitely speak to several sales reps and distributors about their ability to sell a no name indie drama before starting this project...

When you say "GAP" do you understand that that is a bank loan and your project would have to be bonded? If you are just speaking of preselling territories and taking the paper to the bank, that isn't "GAP" and you will have a VERY hard time preselling a drama... Sounds like you really need to do some more homework before you dive into this project... That isn't to discourage you... it is to encourage you to line up all your ducks the correct way and arm yourself with the knowledge that will make your project successful... or at the very least go hire an experienced producer to help...

And yes IMDBpro is the place to start... look at all the comparables in your budget range and genre... look at cast, who distributed them and how well they did. Box office mojo is another great place to get the facts.

 

[EuropeanDistributor]

I have to say, Alexa 1 is spot on.

On your indiegogo page you said that you have allready secured $200,000 for the movie, and you are trying to raise $750,000 through indiegogo, plus additional $150,000 for post?
That is $1.1M!! A crazy amount for a drama movie.
How did you arrive at that number? In your thread about your project that you only started a week ago you wrote that you are finishing the script and haven't even done budgeting yet, but you have still secured a whopping $200k and you are looking for $950k more?

Those numbers don't make any sense. First of all $150k for post on a drama is insane. I don't know many genre pics with higher overall budgets that have a post-production budget that high.
For example I'm working on a $1M+ action movie at the moment and our post budget at the moment is under $100k, and that includes a fair amount of visual effects and even a trailer and posters + misc. promotional material.

If you truly have secured $200k from investors just use that and make the movie.
Even in that case you would need to attract some pretty huge names and the movie would need to be exceptionally good (like sundance good) for you to be able to recoup.

If you want yourself and your project to be taken seriously, I would take down your indiegogo campaign ASAP.
Nobody is going to take you seriously if they see you're trying to fund your $1M drama movie through a crowdfunding website.
Even the few that might be interested in donating to your project won't do that after they see that your goals are absolutely insane.

If you don't have any funding yet just finish the script, do a breakdown and come up with a realistic budget.
And with a realistic budget I mean a realistic in a sense that you are making a no-name drama movie, so way under $50k.

After this it's a good idea to start a new indiegogo or kickstarter campaign, but with a more realistic goal, like $10k or under.
And for that your presentation needs to be much stronger than your current one.

You can make your movie if you put your mind to it, but not at the level you are hoping to.

 

[Andrew McCarrick]

I really appreciate all three of your responses. Definitely made me think about a few things.


Roughly $120k of the post budget goes to the final mix down in full mix facility. This number was taken from another budget I found from a few years ago. So it maybe way off now.

Here's the budget, tell me what's wrong with it:

http://www.diamondintheroughthemovie.com/Budget.xls

I would love to shoot with the new blackmagic design cinema camera, but it won't be out until after we need to shoot. So the only thing cheap, that I could shoot with right now, is the Canon C300. This would only cut out $35k or so of the budget though.


Just as a note I plan on theatrically releasing this myself. Which can easily be accomplished with another $1.5 million to $2.5 million; with a purely digital release. 1000 "Prints" would cost no more than $100k total. Advertising is roughly $8,000 to $12,000 per national spot on cable; 100 to 200 spots starting about 3 weeks prior to release should more than cover it.

$8 million is my break even point on a theatrical release.


As for GAP financing, this is what wiki says,

"Gap/Supergap financing is a form of mezzanine debt financing where the producer wishes to complete their film finance package by procuring a loan that is secured against the film's unsold territories and rights. Most gap financiers will only lend against the value of unsold foreign (non-North American) rights".

That's what I was referring to when I said estimates on other territories. GAP financiers want to see estimates from an established sales agent before they lend.


I could cut out the sound stage and use pratical locations but that would double the length of the shoot, because of all the company moves; and as a result increase the other portions of the budget. So ultimately that would roughly be a net equal.

 

[Andrew McCarrick]

or at the very least go hire an experienced producer to help...

I would love to, but nobody is willing to come on-board without being paid upfront; at least that I can find.

 

[Alexa 1]

Honestly Andrew, after reading your response, most likely no sales rep or distributor is going to take you or your project serious... Your naivety and inexperience really jumps out... You are waving a a big red flag... Have you ever produced and directed anything commercial that had distribution or broadcast before? Honestly I don't know where to start... Your whole plan is pretty much pie in the sky in its present form... Everything from raising $750K in crowd funding to spending $8M total with self theatrical release. Easily accomplished? $8M break even point? Where is this money coming from and do you have the experience, team in place and the skill set to make this happen? You need a reality check...

Digest the good info that we we are giving you. Let me say it again... A $1.2M no name drama will go nowhere in preselling territories or getting a gap loan against territory sales unless you have a BIG international name attached. Even then dramas are very tough sell and the script has to be phenomenal. And you most likely will have trouble getting the project Bonded with no prior feature film making experience. Getting theatrical release and the associated costs is a whole other topic for discussion.

The best advice that I can give you is to go make some shorts or a Micro Budget/no cost feature for practice and experience. Build a track record. Look for grants that might be available to a project that deals with a social issue like alcoholism. Do what is necessary to really learn the business realities of film making before you attempt making a big commercial project. Don't have investors chasing you with pitch forks...

 

[Andrew McCarrick]

Honestly Andrew, after reading your response, most likely no sales rep or distributor is going to take you or your project serious... Your naivety and inexperience really jumps out... You are waving a a big red flag... Have you ever produced and directed anything commercial that had distribution or broadcast before? Honestly I don't know where to start... Your whole plan is pretty much pie in the sky in its present form... Everything from raising $750K in crowd funding to spending $8M total with self theatrical release. Easily accomplished? $8M break even point? Where is this money coming from and do you have the experience, team in place and the skill set to make this happen? You need a reality check...

The break even point is $8 million due to the theaters taking roughly 50% of theatrical revenue, leaving us with $4 million. $1.5 million for production and $2.5 for distribution/Advertising.

I've already talked with film buyers at a lot of the major theater chains about their screening and selection process. I know I'm going to need to purchase/subscribe to the Theater Distribution System software package from Cinedigm for the release. I've done my research. I just don't understand why people don't think I have.

And as far as doing a cheaper feature, I'm incapable of writing anything lower budget than something that would cost roughly $300,000. It's just not in my personality to do something that won't make a theatrical release.

If I were to shoot a feature for less than $300k, I'd half ass it because I just wouldn't care. I could shoot a $50k feature, but it would like it was shot for $5k; because I just wouldn't have the drive or desire to make it any better than that.

 

[EuropeanDistributor]

-

 

[EuropeanDistributor]

I really appreciate all three of your responses. Definitely made me think about a few things.


Roughly $120k of the post budget goes to the final mix down in full mix facility. This number was taken from another budget I found from a few years ago. So it maybe way off now.

Here's the budget, tell me what's wrong with it:

http://www.diamondintheroughthemovie.com/Budget.xls

I would love to shoot with the new blackmagic design cinema camera, but it won't be out until after we need to shoot. So the only thing cheap, that I could shoot with right now, is the Canon C300. This would only cut out $35k or so of the budget though.


Just as a note I plan on theatrically releasing this myself. Which can easily be accomplished with another $1.5 million to $2.5 million; with a purely digital release. 1000 "Prints" would cost no more than $100k total. Advertising is roughly $8,000 to $12,000 per national spot on cable; 100 to 200 spots starting about 3 weeks prior to release should more than cover it.

$8 million is my break even point on a theatrical release.


As for GAP financing, this is what wiki says,

"Gap/Supergap financing is a form of mezzanine debt financing where the producer wishes to complete their film finance package by procuring a loan that is secured against the film's unsold territories and rights. Most gap financiers will only lend against the value of unsold foreign (non-North American) rights".

That's what I was referring to when I said estimates on other territories. GAP financiers want to see estimates from an established sales agent before they lend.


I could cut out the sound stage and use pratical locations but that would double the length of the shoot, because of all the company moves; and as a result increase the other portions of the budget. So ultimately that would roughly be a net equal.

The budget looks good as far as formatting etc. goes, but your amounts are way off.

Above the line is ok, allthough with a budget of $1M+ your script, producers and director expenses would realistically be higher, as would your cast budget if you wish to attract even b-list names.

Your below the line is way over budgeted, and some of it is way under budgeted.

Sound stage and set construction, way way too much. Realistically with a drama like this you would like to shoot on location as much as you can.
35 days in a $5,000/day sound stage is not realistic at all.

Your property and wardrobe budget is over the top too, realistically you would need only 1/10 of that budget.

Camera and sound is a little over budgeted too, you can rent a RED camera for cheaper than that.

Transportation, location expenses, picture vehicles, again, 1/10 of that should be fine.

Travel and living - crew, that you can erase completely. You never fly in crew, unless you are shooting in some exotic location. You always hire locals.

Editorial, that's ok, unless you want to hire a pro, in that case you need to at least double that.

Music, you can hire a great composer for under $10,000 easy. Forget about licensing songs, that is just too expensive.

Post Production Sound, this is way off. You can get a professional sound design for 1/10 of that.

In your below the line you have items that you don't need at all, for example you have budgeted $5,000 for greens, that is like Hollywood stuff, you don't need that at all.

You need to at least double your Director of Photography budget, you are going to have a hard time getting a professional DP for only $1,000 a week.

Unless I'm not finding it, you haven't even budgeted for half of your crew.

I don't see salaries for the 1st AD, Key-Grip, Grips, Best Boy etc.

What you need to do now unless you haven't allready done it, is line your script and do a breakdown.

You can find some great tutorials on youtube on the subject.

It is tedious work, but after you have done it, you have a realistic budget and schedule.

I haven't read your script, but from the synopsis I read on your indiegogo page, there isn't anything in there that would prevent you from making this with a microbudget, like under $50,000.

As far as self distributing this in the theatres, you need to forget about it.

Nobody, as far as I know has ever self distributed in the theatres in a wide scale like you are planning to.
Four walling and setting up screenings, that is ok, you can do that for fairly cheap.
You can't wide release a movie like this, especially not on your own. You can not compete with the big boys.

Drama movies like these only get wide releases if they have major A-list talent and/or have won major festival awards like Sundance, even in that case total domestic Box Office Gross would likely be less than $8M.

You can only get GAP financing if you can get major pre-sales, and with a drama movie it is extremely difficult if not impossible.

My advice to you is like I said earlier, do a breakdown of your script and come up with a realistic budget.
Ideally for a no-name drama that would be way under $50k.

You can then go ahead and try the crowdfunding route, or as Alexa 1 said look for grants.

You obviously have the passion, and that is good, but it's important to have realistic goals.

I would be happy to help you along the way, as I'm sure would many other users on this forum as well.

So keep posting and don't give up.

 

[Barry_Green]

I haven't read your script, but from the synopsis I read on your indiegogo page, there isn't anything in there that would prevent you from making this with a microbudget, like under $50,000.

As far as self distributing this in the theatres, you need to forget about it.

Nobody, as far as I know has ever self distributed in the theatres in a wide scale like you are planning to.
Four walling and setting up screenings, that is ok, you can do that for fairly cheap.
You can't wide release a movie like this, especially not on your own. You can not compete with the big boys.

Drama movies like these only get wide releases if they have major A-list talent and/or have won major festival awards like Sundance, even in that case total domestic Box Office Gross would likely be less than $8M.

You can only get GAP financing if you can get major pre-sales, and with a drama movie it is extremely difficult if not impossible.

All excellent advice.

My advice to you is like I said earlier, do a breakdown of your script and come up with a realistic budget.
Ideally for a no-name drama that would be way under $50k.

Again, especially for a first-timer, this is superb advice.

You obviously have the passion, and that is good, but it's important to have realistic goals.

Passion without control is like fire without control -- a destructive, raging, uncontrollable forest fire. Passion within intelligently limited structured controls is the greatest force one can have.

I would be happy to help you along the way, as I'm sure would many other users on this forum as well.

We are here to help, and I very much appreciate your offers to help, thank you very much to both Alexa 1 and yourself. However, we've been following this particular situation for about seven years now(!), it's always the same story, grandiose plans followed by zero followup followed by a tiny plan which quickly spirals into a new grandiose plan, followed by "I give up, I quit." Even though the very first step doesn't even get taken.

Without work, nothing matters. With work, all things are possible. It's time for Andrew to start doing the actual work, instead of the dreaming and plotting and spiraling out of control.

With luck, Andrew will fill his time with actual filmmaking now, and will come back with an inspiring effort in WarFest, at which point he will have gained some experience and be on much more sure footing for the type of discussions that are going on here. And folks like you and Alexa 1 will be able to view his film and grasp his skill and experience level and be better able to tailor advice that will apply to him at the level he's at now.

 

[Barry_Green]

Honestly Andrew, after reading your response, most likely no sales rep or distributor is going to take you or your project serious... Your naivety and inexperience really jumps out... You are waving a a big red flag... Have you ever produced and directed anything commercial that had distribution or broadcast before? Honestly I don't know where to start... Your whole plan is pretty much pie in the sky in its present form... Everything from raising $750K in crowd funding to spending $8M total with self theatrical release. Easily accomplished? $8M break even point? Where is this money coming from and do you have the experience, team in place and the skill set to make this happen? You need a reality check...

Digest the good info that we we are giving you. Let me say it again... A $1.2M no name drama will go nowhere in preselling territories or getting a gap loan against territory sales unless you have a BIG international name attached. Even then dramas are very tough sell and the script has to be phenomenal. And you most likely will have trouble getting the project Bonded with no prior feature film making experience. Getting theatrical release and the associated costs is a whole other topic for discussion.

The best advice that I can give you is to go make some shorts or a Micro Budget/no cost feature for practice and experience. Build a track record. Look for grants that might be available to a project that deals with a social issue like alcoholism. Do what is necessary to really learn the business realities of film making before you attempt making a big commercial project. Don't have investors chasing you with pitch forks...

Thanks, Alexa 1. That is excellent advice and sage wisdom.

If I were to shoot a feature for less than $300k, I'd half ass it because I just wouldn't care. I could shoot a $50k feature, but it would like it was shot for $5k; because I just wouldn't have the drive or desire to make it any better than that.

And that is the absolute worst, most disrespectful, laziest, ridiculous response I've ever seen. E. V. E. R.

Nobody -- and I mean NOBODY -- will ever give you a penny, with such an attitude as that. And I think you know that -- which is why you've painted this scenario where you can't possibly succeed. You won't try something that you could actually do, because it might suck, so you hold out for a pollyanna vision that will never ever happen, because that way "you won't have failed, it's just that those mean money guys wouldn't give you a chance."

With that attitude, I can well understand why you come on here every few months complaining that you might have to file bankruptcy by age 23. Obviously. Nobody should be surprised by that -- if this is the way you conduct your affairs.

You've asked us to ban you before. You've asked us to delete your account. You've bemoaned that you've been "working seven years" and haven't made any progress. You say "I don't have a job, I can't get a job, there are no jobs anywhere near me", and we've told you "Then move." And you won't. You won't lift a single finger to help yourself.

You have, as far as we can tell here, never shot a single frame of film, never made any manner of film, have zero experience even helping someone else make their film, but you're declaring that you'd piss away someone's $300,000.00 because it's beneath you? Seriously, do you hear yourself saying these things? Three Hundred Thousand Dollars! Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone to earn three hundred thousand dollars? And you'd "half ass it"????

Either you are actively trolling these boards trying to say outlandish things to stir people up, or you are profoundly clueless and suffering so badly from "entitlement syndrome" that you can't see straight. Either way, DVXUser has decided that we will no longer encourage or enable such behavior.

I would love to, but nobody is willing to come on-board without being paid upfront;

And WHY SHOULD THEY? How many times have you gone on-board to make someone else's film for them, without getting paid? What goes around comes around.

So here's the harshest case of tough love the DVXUser forum can hand out... no more enabling. No more indulging. Get off your @@@ and make something. Enter something in the DVXFest. Grow some skills. And when you do, and when you actually have a film you made ready for DVXFest exhibition, that's when your ban will be lifted.

We've never done this before, but several moderators have discussed it and think it's the only way.

No more pie-in-the-sky. Get your hands dirty. Go actually MAKE something -- we don't care if it's on a cell phone or a GoPro, or if it's hand-drawn animation. Just get started actually working, instead of cluttering up the forum with outrageously impractical threads.

Good luck.

 

[EuropeanDistributor]

We are here to help, and I very much appreciate your offers to help, thank you very much to both Alexa 1 and yourself. However, we've been following this particular situation for about seven years now(!), it's always the same story, grandiose plans followed by zero followup followed by a tiny plan which quickly spirals into a new grandiose plan, followed by "I give up, I quit." Even though the very first step doesn't even get taken.

Without work, nothing matters. With work, all things are possible. It's time for Andrew to start doing the actual work, instead of the dreaming and plotting and spiraling out of control.

With luck, Andrew will fill his time with actual filmmaking now, and will come back with an inspiring effort in WarFest, at which point he will have gained some experience and be on much more sure footing for the type of discussions that are going on here. And folks like you and Alexa 1 will be able to view his film and grasp his skill and experience level and be better able to tailor advice that will apply to him at the level he's at now.

I didn't even realize that Andrew has had such a long history on this forum before I responded to this thread.

I just read some of his earlier postings.

Hopefully what I am going to write isn't too personal, but seeing as Andrew is here under his real name and has decided to write all this on a public forum I don't think it will be.

Andrew, what you need to do is to start living a real life.
You said that you are unemployed and broke, and yet you are talking about producing million dollar movies, flying to LA to do casting, building expensive sets on expensive soundstages and wide releasing films.

You need to get a job, any job, start living a real life and grow up.

Write down realistic goals for yourself and do whatever you need to do to accomplish them.
Go find a job, any job, you will find a job I guarantee it, unless you are living in the middle of a desert.
If you have relatives who might own small businesses, ask them if they need any help, if anything go around mowing peoples lawns, walking their dogs etc. You can and will find a job if you are not picky.

You can easily save a few hundred bucks and buy a camera for yourself.

Now write a screenplay for a short film and go film it.

You don't need a budget, you have your camera, that's all you need.

After you have done that short, make a new one. This time with a legitimate budget, like $1,000-$2,000.

Congratulations, now you have two short films finished and hopefully you still have a job, and if you are lucky, that job might be in the entertainment business.

At this point you have hopefully learned about the realities of life, enough so that you can go ahead and start making your first feature.

Right now your priorities are all screwed up.

You're unemployed and broke but you would "half-ass" a $300,000 movie because that would be too low of a budget for you to give a crap?
Dude, get a grip.

It's good to have dreams, but you need to work your way up with realistic goals.

 

[KyleProhaska]

This kind of thread warms my heart. My advice to the original poster is to take what's been said here very seriously. Don't ignore these comments, they're absolutely right. What you're doing isn't just risky, it's foolish and will not bring a good result.

My first film made for $50k has been a success on retail DVD, hit Redbox a few weeks ago, vod, cable, etc. and I'm still keeping my second one under $200k...under $125-150k if I can given what the script requires. I'm taking it slow. All it takes is one simple misstep to put yourself in a really crappy position with angry investors and a blot on your career you won't remove anytime soon...if ever.

Dangerous waters my friend...don't be "that guy." I know it might sound like they're crushing your dreams, but what they're really trying to do is save you.

 

[sonofaresiii]

To whomever mentioned the writer/director/producer's budget should be higher... let's not forget who's writing/directing/producing this feature. I think maybe it can be a little lower. Or deferred. Or waived.

 

[Kegan]

At a proposed budget of $750K-$1M, you would never find me producing a feature deferred or waived. It's a LOT of work, even if its your own project and in that budget range, it would be ludicrous to consider writing/directing/producing a feature for free or little.

Kegan

 

[EuropeanDistributor]

To whomever mentioned the writer/director/producer's budget should be higher... let's not forget who's writing/directing/producing this feature. I think maybe it can be a little lower. Or deferred. Or waived.

Well in this case sure, the entire budget should be about what he had budgeted for director, writer and producer.

What I meant was that if you are producing a real $1M+ movie realistically director, writer and producers would be higher than $15k-$20k each.

 

[sonofaresiii]

At a proposed budget of $750K-$1M, you would never find me producing a feature deferred or waived. It's a LOT of work, even if its your own project and in that budget range, it would be ludicrous to consider writing/directing/producing a feature for free or little.

Kegan

To whomever mentioned the writer/director/producer's budget should be higher... let's not forget who's writing/directing/producing this feature. I think maybe it can be a little lower. Or deferred. Or waived.

You may have missed my point. The OP is the writer/director/producer. He's decided to pay himself $50k for making his movie. Now I know there's two sides to it-- as a working writer/director/producer, you can't make movies if you can't eat. But doesn't it seem a little ridiculous to pay yourself $50k UPFRONT from a crowdfunding, donation-based budget? For your first film? Especially when, as mentioned, you could probably make the entire thing for $50k.

ANYWAY... this thread has taken a less-than optimistic turn, for good reason I'm sure, and the OP has apparently been banned... but I hate getting into a thread and pointing out problems that the OP didn't ask for. So regardless, maybe others will find it useful that--

It's highly unlikely you'll get a sales agent as a first time filmmaker before production. The biggest ways they get new clients is either finding a big name who's in the market for a sales agent for their next indie project (maybe a well-known actor has decided to turn director, maybe a well-known studio director has decided to do a small indie project), or by finding successful films that aren't yet represented (e.g. sleeper hit at Sundance). Occasionally they'll pick up people who've gotten some attention on smaller stuff but are embarking on their first big project (say, a director for a successful web series or a student who's done well in festivals with shorts).
As a completely unknown, unproven filmmaker, all you can do is call up a sales agent, they'll tell you to mail your script, it will go in a giant pile and *maybe* eventually be read and covered by an intern, and never looked at by anyone important in the company until you've made ANOTHER successful film (or more likely, your then-unknown lead actor appears in a major film), at which point they'll go through their back archives and say "Hey, we've got this older project by this guy who's blowing up, maybe we should look into it."

It's pretty easy to get your script (or even your finished movie) to a sales agent. It's a lot harder to get them to care about it. (And who can blame them?). If you're really good, prove it-- get into a festival and win some awards, or release online and gain an audience. Better than hoping your actor ends up becoming successful in a few years.
People love to talk about Robert Rodriguez who made a tiny movie and got a three-picture deal at (was it Columbia?)... but they forget El Mariachi won the audience award at Sundance first. And his short film had a good festival run before that.

**this is just informed speculation on sales agents. Like anything in this industry, there's a billion ways to reach the same goal, and anything can happen. Regardless, I think it's pretty good advice.

 

[LaForce]

If I were to shoot a feature for less than $300k, I'd half ass it because I just wouldn't care. I could shoot a $50k feature, but it would like it was shot for $5k; because I just wouldn't have the drive or desire to make it any better than that.

I think this says more than anything else about where you are at. Understand that I say this with the very best of intentions: if this is how you feel then no amount of money can help.