Rough Draft.

[Robbie Comeau]

Here is a copy of a rough draft of my new short.

http://www.uploading.com/files/POBL45DZ/Silent_Screams.pdf.html

My idea, Kegan wrote the thing!

Thoughts are welcome!

Enjoy,

Robbie.

 

[Kegan]

I completely forget how to format a script with no dialogue. I was at a total loss. For some reason, I don't see the buildup very effective and it seems a little lacking in story. Any advice on formatting and how to beef it up a bit more to get the "wow, that movie gave me the shivers" effect?

Thanks,

Kegan

 

[Robbie Comeau]

Anyone wanna share their thoughts on this?

Thanks,

Robbie

 

[alex whitmer]

It's definately lacking, no offense. The story is there, just needs an extraction!

I'm a little pissed off about The Shed, but because it's Kegan, I'll do it.

The only part I don't get is the mask thing.

You'll have it in the morning.

alex

www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com
www.guerro.wordpress.comn

 

[Kegan]

Alex,

Thanks a lot, but you don't have to do that. Of course its much appreciated, if you have the time.

Take care,

Kegan

EDIT: Well the mask itself isn't necessary, but I just wanted it to finally show that its the boyfriend in the end. In those scenes, it'll be POV of the killer anyway, so maybe the mask isn't necessary.