Review Website

Design looks fine.

Because I can't see the work yet, I can't really judge. The only thing I can read is About and...

I think you need to think about target market. What are you looking to do with this website?

If this is designed to get you an entry-level job at a local place... it should be something like:

I'm a hard-working young filmmaker looking to gain experience in all aspects of film. I majored in TV/Film Production at xxxx school
(why did you give the name of the school you left... but not the school that you're proud of having gone to?)
where I filmed more than 10 projects and learnt the ins and outs of the production process from pre-production to post.
I'm looking to translate my enthusiasm and experience in producing and directing short films into working in a collaborative professional environment, so am actively pursuing (internships? entry-level positions? freelance work?). I'd love to work with you!

Then you need to list your skills / software / etc. Also include boring stuff like:
- the ability to make and update websites
- being able to answer phones
- having a driver's license and a reliable car
These things are useful to companies looking for guys in entry-level positions.

We all went through this. I answered phones, took out the trash and updated the company website for an American company I interned for, while I also VFX supervised an Olympics shoot for Best Buy shot on a Varicam with a Technocrane (I got given that task because they had cheaped out on VFX supervisor choice... then on the day of the shoot they realized the VFX guy they hired was no good... and I stepped up and said "Um, I know Maya and 3D tracking. We need to start putting getting some tape and putting markers on that greenscreen RIGHT NOW or else we are totally screwed")! So I was doing that... but the internship duties didn't go away either. And the pay was still minimum wage... that's what an internship is - a combination of menial stuff with trying desperately to learn and prove yourself.

OR if you're looking to do work for local businesses making web videos promoting them... it needs to have something about translating your enthusiastic short filmmaking ingenuity and self-starting ability into exciting content that will bring in their customers. The fact that you are young is a good thing, because youth is a prime advertising market and I think some companies might totally go for some enthusiastic kid running around making some videos for them. If they're smart, that is.

If this is designed to get you a job as a writer / director... no website will do that. Unless it is funny as hell, maybe. And has brilliant scripts on it. Or amazing visuals. You can't con your way into that one, you have to bring the goods.

1. In either event, nobody cares how long it took you to write your feature. Taxi Driver was written in a rather short period of time and was brilliant.

2. You can't xxxx out your own phone number. That's nuts. What if someone wants to call you up? Just make it an image and hopefully the spambots won't get you.

Anyway, congrats on getting further on your website than mine currently is, haha! It's just a JPEG :)

Bruce Allen
www.boacinema.com
 
Thanks for all the suggestions. I x'd out the phone number because I didn't want anybody calling me yet. I definitely plan on re-doing the bio. The focus would be on local businesses and web videos. Do you think I should include my resume on the about page?
bruceallen said:
Design looks fine.Because I can't see the work yet, I can't really judge. The only thing I can read is About and...I think you need to think about target market. What are you looking to do with this website?If this is designed to get you an entry-level job at a local place... it should be something like:I'm a hard-working young filmmaker looking to gain experience in all aspects of film. I majored in TV/Film Production at xxxx school(why did you give the name of the school you left... but not the school that you're proud of having gone to?)where I filmed more than 10 projects and learnt the ins and outs of the production process from pre-production to post.I'm looking to translate my enthusiasm and experience in producing and directing short films into working in a collaborative professional environment, so am actively pursuing (internships? entry-level positions? freelance work?). I'd love to work with you!Then you need to list your skills / software / etc. Also include boring stuff like:- the ability to make and update websites- being able to answer phones- having a driver's license and a reliable carThese things are useful to companies looking for guys in entry-level positions.We all went through this. I answered phones, took out the trash and updated the company website for an American company I interned for, while I also VFX supervised an Olympics shoot for Best Buy shot on a Varicam with a Technocrane (I got given that task because they had cheaped out on VFX supervisor choice... then on the day of the shoot they realized the VFX guy they hired was no good... and I stepped up and said "Um, I know Maya and 3D tracking. We need to start putting getting some tape and putting markers on that greenscreen RIGHT NOW or else we are totally screwed")! So I was doing that... but the internship duties didn't go away either. And the pay was still minimum wage... that's what an internship is - a combination of menial stuff with trying desperately to learn and prove yourself.OR if you're looking to do work for local businesses making web videos promoting them... it needs to have something about translating your enthusiastic short filmmaking ingenuity and self-starting ability into exciting content that will bring in their customers. The fact that you are young is a good thing, because youth is a prime advertising market and I think some companies might totally go for some enthusiastic kid running around making some videos for them. If they're smart, that is.If this is designed to get you a job as a writer / director... no website will do that. Unless it is funny as hell, maybe. And has brilliant scripts on it. Or amazing visuals. You can't con your way into that one, you have to bring the goods.1. In either event, nobody cares how long it took you to write your feature. Taxi Driver was written in a rather short period of time and was brilliant.2. You can't xxxx out your own phone number. That's nuts. What if someone wants to call you up? Just make it an image and hopefully the spambots won't get you.Anyway, congrats on getting further on your website than mine currently is, haha! It's just a JPEG :)Bruce Allenwww.boacinema.com
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Andrew McCarrick said:
Thanks for all the suggestions. I x'd out the phone number because I didn't want anybody calling me yet. I definitely plan on re-doing the bio. The focus would be on local businesses and web videos. Do you think I should include my resume on the about page?
Click to expand...

Resume should be at the very least downloadable as a PDF, yes.

Bruce Allen
www.boacinema.com
 
A bio typically doesn't have all the dates like a play by play of your life. Save that for the resume which is a date driven format of LinkedIn for those formats. Where you were born and such is also a bit much for a bio (my opinion). Bio is major accomplishments, interests, and goals. Also, the main landing page (home) is blank. For someone who has all these creative skills, the website is all text. Also on the bio page, the IMDB link seems out of place as you have a links page already. Your email address as is can be spam botted so watch out for that.

Michael
 
MichaelP said:
Bio is major accomplishments, interests, and goals. Also, the main landing page (home) is blank. For someone who has all these creative skills, the website is all text.
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Not really sure on what to include in the bio then. Still working on the home page. And my graphics skills are absolutely garbage; primary reason I'm not offering graphics design services, and why the website has only one image. I've never been able to get what I see in my head down to a piece of paper or in to a computer via a mouse or tablet. That's why I really rely on cameras for any graphic/visual expression. I'm working on a "reel" but it won't have much in it.
 
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MichaelP said:
A collage of stills pulled from the camera work you've done would be a start.

Michael
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Not a bad idea... I just dropped in a background for people that have a wider screen then I do. Should see the background image on either side of the page with a monitor with a higher res than 1000 pixels wide.

Also looking for opinions on the home page. I could do a collage on the left half of the page with the reel right under the home, services, about, and links tabs, and text below that.

Or Video under the tabs, text under the logo, and a collage of images across the bottom of the page.

http://www.andrewmccarrick.com/index.php
 
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Andrew - I took the liberty of redrafting your bio into something that sounds more like a bio. Actual dates, durations and such are for the CV. You want to be consistent in how you refer to yourself as well as using present tense when possible as it has more impact on the reader.

Michael

At the age of 12, Andrew McCarrick began web development in 2000, as owner of a small website. During that time he was also a staff writer for several other websites, providing copy and news articles relating to the business of each website. In 2002, as an independent artist, McCarrick wrote his first feature length screenplay as well learning to play the drums.
2003 found McCarrick transferring from Egg Harbor Township High School to a Performing Arts High School, where he majored in TV/Film Production. As only a freshman, he produced and directed the short 8 minute film; "Roswell Crash: Case Closed," which had to be shot in two days. McCarrick also wrote, directed, and edited and additional two short films, while crewing on numerous other projects increasing his skills in all phases of production. McCarrick’s experience extends to all genres of production, from scripted to non-scripted and documentary.
McCarrick graduated high school in 2007, and has since written four additional short and four feature screenplays. Two of the feature film scripts are currently in development. Recently, McCarrick has picked up the guitar to add to his creative skill set.
McCarrick works through his production and post-production companies, Area 51 Entertainment and Alien Digital and also owns the start-up cymbal manufacturing company, Deseni Cymbals.
 
I see you added location and willingness back to the bio. That is better placed on the sevices page.

Michael
 
I don't know if I'd put rates up in the site, especially in that kind of detail. Each project is different and you want to be able to have a discussion with that person. To not only clarify the expenses but to be able to create a rapport and have a better shot at closing the deal. As it stands now, those not knowledgeable in the post production and post process will either think it's too high or too low and move on. Marketing in this business also includes some percentage of education, and you won't get that chance if they never contact you.

Michael
 
Hi

Nice site.

A quick read and here is my impression. "At only the age of 12" lost me there. First impression is if you are talking about twelve either not much has been done since or you are now fourteen (But you have done a lot). I would emphasize that you are an adult. You have so much to offer now, go with that instead of your child prodigy history (althought impressive). Start with your most recent accomplishments and end there as well.

Second impression. Services: It is a long way from writing feature films to personal/family websites. My impression is jack of all trades and master of none (NOT true but that was my reaction). I think you might want to make multiple websites with text and search engine optimization highlighting related groups of skills. The fact that you are great at doing all the skills you advertise doesn't effect the fact that people don't know you yet and may think that someone advertising so much might not be the best at the one thing they want to hire you for. Going back to the search optimization; It is true that you will do better with a poor site that is optimized than the best site that is not. Who, and how many see your site is almost completely governed by optimization. You do have strings for search engines to crawl but I would think you could pull much better with better optimization. I believe worth looking into. I am sure if people can find you then they will like you. But they need to find you.

I would try to keep in mind what you want which I believe is to get people to contact you so you get a chance to share what you have to offer them specifically. I also think that you have received a lot of good advice in other posts. I think you have a great starting point and will keep getting better as you are open to learning and improvement. Best of luck, I look forward to seeing your posts.
 
Blit said:
Hi

Nice site.

A quick read and here is my impression. "At only the age of 12" lost me there. First impression is if you are talking about twelve either not much has been done since or you are now fourteen (But you have done a lot). I would emphasize that you are an adult. You have so much to offer now, go with that instead of your child prodigy history (althought impressive). Start with your most recent accomplishments and end there as well.

Second impression. Services: It is a long way from writing feature films to personal/family websites. My impression is jack of all trades and master of none (NOT true but that was my reaction). I think you might want to make multiple websites with text and search engine optimization highlighting related groups of skills. The fact that you are great at doing all the skills you advertise doesn't effect the fact that people don't know you yet and may think that someone advertising so much might not be the best at the one thing they want to hire you for. Going back to the search optimization; It is true that you will do better with a poor site that is optimized than the best site that is not. Who, and how many see your site is almost completely governed by optimization. You do have strings for search engines to crawl but I would think you could pull much better with better optimization. I believe worth looking into. I am sure if people can find you then they will like you. But they need to find you.

I would try to keep in mind what you want which I believe is to get people to contact you so you get a chance to share what you have to offer them specifically. I also think that you have received a lot of good advice in other posts. I think you have a great starting point and will keep getting better as you are open to learning and improvement. Best of luck, I look forward to seeing your posts.
Click to expand...

Definitely some good points. I've been thinking about moving the webdesign, production services, and music services to a company, and keeping the writing as a self freelance kind of thing.

Anybody got some suggestions on how to get this site out there (and the other site, once I move stuff over)? Really no money, so paying for advertising isn't really possible yet.
 
Andrew - the site on its own isn't going to get you work. Now you need to hit the ground and start talking to people and trying to find jobs.

THEN once you've talked to people and they are deciding about you, they'll check out your site. The website is just to show that you're legit.

Which is why I also wouldn't put rates here.

Just think about it from the perspective of someone hiring you.

Take the drumming for example. What do you think is likely to get you a job?

a) a website that says "Studio Drummer - starting at $59 per hour"
or
b) a website with awesome samples of drumming and like "Available for session work. Contact me - can collaborate via internet or studio of your choice."

Of course: b.

The other thing is: if you just put your rate out there and someone thinks it's too high... you often won't hear from them. But you'll never know that they were even interested.

But if you don't put your rate out... and they contact you... then you can tell them your rate. And if you don't hear from them again - you know that there was interest but your rate was too high.

The other rule with rates: at the beginning of your career, if you have no connections, start low. Even if you're working for bad pay, do a good job because the people you're working for will have friends who want similar jobs done. And then they can recommend you to their friends. This is how you build a client base.

When you're working insane hours, and have to turn down jobs, THEN you raise your rate.

By the way, I think it is kinda awesome that you have Michael Phillips giving you feedback. The internet is wonderful thing - especially when people are wonderful too.

Bruce Allen
www.boacinema.com
 
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