Filmtastisk
New member
Hi all 
I´ve worked out the question which I posted earlier in this forum and now I´ve finished my first draft. I also want to thank everyone who responded to that thread.
The film is for an annual filmmaking contest that aims to raise prostitution awareness and attempts to change the minds of potential customers.
(I wrote it in more of a "me telling you the story" form than a screenplay form as I was unsure how to properly write a screenplay where the story is progressed through the camera, rather than through characters, though I will do it before principal photography. )
It would be a real delight to receive feedback.
Working Title: Thousand
We open up to a close up of a white origami paper crane hanging from the ceiling by a thin thread. As we push farther out it is unveiled that hundreds of its kind are hanging alongside of it. They hang in a dusty lower middle class apartment.
At the far end of the room we can make out the contours of a black haired girl sitting at a wooden desk, which is positioned up against a closed window.
Moving in closer on the girl we observe her folding a new paper crane. Though we never see her face, her hands are decisively Asian, veering towards Japanese. Japanese ornaments spread across the apartment further support this notion.
As we watch her fold, our eyes are drawn to peculiar items of interest that are sprinkled throughout her messy desk. She has two cell phones lying next to each other, she carries a little knife in her purse and she has turned a row of picture frames on her windowsill face down (I´m likely to expand on this list of items).
There´s one particular item on her desk that the camera quickly grows fond of, an open folded partly torn magazine. The edit begins to move back and forth between the folding of the crane and moving closer in on this magazine. The magazine is filled with adverts, though we cannot make out most of the text. Shortly afterwards the camera grinds to a halt on one particular advert. It is a red box filled with a telephone number and text that mentions an escort service. In the middle of the ad is a picture of an Asian girl in a red dress; the camera still crops the face. The magazine was a contact magazine akin to this http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/06/escort_ads-thumb.jpg
The girl at the desk has now finished the crane she was folding and she places it on her desk. As the camera stares at the finished crane we can make out a red dress lying on top of a closet door in the far background.
The final shot is of her (in a way that I am not yet determined) adding a number on a count of how many paper cranes she has folded out of a thousand.
The length of the film will be 1-2 minutes.
Also if you where left perplexed, what the girl is attempting to accomplish is this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thousand_origami_cranes
I´ve worked out the question which I posted earlier in this forum and now I´ve finished my first draft. I also want to thank everyone who responded to that thread.
The film is for an annual filmmaking contest that aims to raise prostitution awareness and attempts to change the minds of potential customers.
(I wrote it in more of a "me telling you the story" form than a screenplay form as I was unsure how to properly write a screenplay where the story is progressed through the camera, rather than through characters, though I will do it before principal photography. )
It would be a real delight to receive feedback.
Working Title: Thousand
We open up to a close up of a white origami paper crane hanging from the ceiling by a thin thread. As we push farther out it is unveiled that hundreds of its kind are hanging alongside of it. They hang in a dusty lower middle class apartment.
At the far end of the room we can make out the contours of a black haired girl sitting at a wooden desk, which is positioned up against a closed window.
Moving in closer on the girl we observe her folding a new paper crane. Though we never see her face, her hands are decisively Asian, veering towards Japanese. Japanese ornaments spread across the apartment further support this notion.
As we watch her fold, our eyes are drawn to peculiar items of interest that are sprinkled throughout her messy desk. She has two cell phones lying next to each other, she carries a little knife in her purse and she has turned a row of picture frames on her windowsill face down (I´m likely to expand on this list of items).
There´s one particular item on her desk that the camera quickly grows fond of, an open folded partly torn magazine. The edit begins to move back and forth between the folding of the crane and moving closer in on this magazine. The magazine is filled with adverts, though we cannot make out most of the text. Shortly afterwards the camera grinds to a halt on one particular advert. It is a red box filled with a telephone number and text that mentions an escort service. In the middle of the ad is a picture of an Asian girl in a red dress; the camera still crops the face. The magazine was a contact magazine akin to this http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/06/escort_ads-thumb.jpg
The girl at the desk has now finished the crane she was folding and she places it on her desk. As the camera stares at the finished crane we can make out a red dress lying on top of a closet door in the far background.
The final shot is of her (in a way that I am not yet determined) adding a number on a count of how many paper cranes she has folded out of a thousand.
The length of the film will be 1-2 minutes.
Also if you where left perplexed, what the girl is attempting to accomplish is this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thousand_origami_cranes
