REALLY short screenplay... thing

[Killawa]

http://www.bestsharing.com/files/XIRZfjl317374/Modern%20Shootout.pdf.html

Theres the link. Its only 2 and a half pages. The idea just came to me 3 hours ago and i was toying with it a little bit. I have another version written up but i want to see what all you writers have to say. If you don't like it you can send me a virus or something... I know how it feels when i think someone has wasted 3 minutes of my life. Thanks

 

[dvpixl]

I'm not a writer and I'm sure writers would soon chime in but other than couple of spelling errors, it held up in the set up but fell apart for me towards the end as it became somewhat funny or corny i should say ... then felt like there was no point to it. Unless I missed something.
great writing though.

 

[Killawa]

Yea i was sort of trying to get that senseless "what the hell?" humor. But in the end neither of them has the skill to shoot right and one ends up arguing with his mom and the other is complaining about his arm. Thanks for the response too.