OK, bad film related jokes (do your best)

[Pookie]

How do you get the attention of four aspiring actors?
-"Waiter!"


Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one more, guys, I promise.


Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.


Satan visits a film producer and offers him a deal. Satan will insure that the producer's next film is a $200 million dollar blockbuster sequel-spawning hit, IF Satan gets possession of the souls of his wife and children for eternal torment in Hell. The producer thinks for a second and then says, "Okay... what's the catch?

Onward


Crew Fight Song: We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible, for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. --Author unknown

 

[David G. Smith]

How many producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hmmm, ... what do you think?

How many executive producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Shaaaa.... executive producers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

 

[MattinSTL]

How many executive producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Shaaaa.... executive producers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

Actual out loud laughter from this one. Nice. :happy:



*although this punchline is harder to commit then some may realize.

 

[Sad Max]

A pair of agents are enjoying drinks at their favorite Sunset watering hole when a stunning young woman in a little black cocktail dress comes walking in. The first agent looks her over, licks his lips and says, Boy, I'd sure like to f*ck her!

The second agent gives the woman an appraising glance, and says Really? Out of what?

---

A famous agent is sitting in his usual booth at a trendy LA restaurant when a beautiful young aspiring actress slides into his booth and whispers in his ear Hey, how would you like to go out to your Porsche in the parking lot, and I can give you a blow job?

The agent sips his drink, thinks for a moment, and asks Well, what's in it, for me?

---

How many carpenters does it take, to screw in a light bulb?

Wrong union, talk to the grips.

---

How many teamsters does it take, to screw in a light bulb?

Six, at double Golden Time. You got a problem with that, buddy?

---

The seven stages of production:

Wild enthusiasm

Sobering realization

Growing Panic

Black Disaster

The Search for Scapegoats

The Persecution of the Innocent

The Promotion of the Incompetent