OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

Ranger

Ranger

Well-known member
Subject: The Difference Between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners

Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children ...

Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:
"Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!"

"Does the man look poor or oppressed?  Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?"

"Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?"

"What does the law say about this situation?"

"Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?"

"Why am I carrying a loaded gun, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?"

"Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?"

"If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?"

"This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion."

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ... (sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

I guess Im a Mix of Conservative and Southerner as Im only emptying one clip. :D
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

Wait a minute... I wouldn't have a gun on me! Why would you even consider I'd consider shooting him?

I'd say...

"Hi, my name is Mike... WAAAAAAHHHHH HHEHHEEEEEEEEE YYYYAAAAAA!!!!"

(long shot reference to another post.)

CaptM
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

HAHA!! I got that...

WHHAAAA HHEEEE AHHHH

and then I'd pull out my bouncing nun chucks!
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

[quote author=CaptainMench link=board=Offtopic;num=1089685702;start=0#4 date=07/12/04 at 21:38:24]Wait a minute... I wouldn't have a gun on me!  Why would you even consider I'd consider shooting him?

I'd say...

"Hi, my name is Mike... WAAAAAAHHHHH  HHEHHEEEEEEEEE  YYYYAAAAAA!!!!"

(long shot reference to another post.)

CaptM[/quote]

LOL i'm still laughing ;D ;D ;D
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

Well what is really sad is these people really think that way. Liberal/ socialist mentality. In fact in some of the locale govt. they run ie. New York  they wooud prosecute you for protecting your family.. Wherein they may throw you in prison where these same people you were protecting you and your family from would victimize you again..

Its really really sick..

I remember when Rosie (communist pig) went after our Hero Magnum (Tom Selleck) shell never hold a candle to him  .. except with her lil NY mindset crowd..

Anyways she gave him a hard time for being part of the NRA.. on her stupid lil show that no longer exists..

The campaign was on.. we shut down email after emai for Kmart with a concerted effort of complaints.. She no work there no more ;D

Poetic Justice was .. as the hypocrit she is.. she recieved death threats and had to hire security (with guns) for her protection..lol
How i hate her and her ilk..

By the way.. I have a Glock .45 and I will use it when threatened ;D If that aint enough and its a gang or mob I have an CAR 15 ;)
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

.. i would ask him if he wanted to trade weapons becuase me and my family outnumber him and have an unfair advantage. then before i handed him the gun , i would quick tape a business card for a self help center to the grip.
::)
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

you people can't possibly be in the media business. such hostility. you all need to run out and buy a barbara streisand compilation cd. or better yet rip it off the net for free as is your right.
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

Hostility?? lol.... yes your right..
When something threatens the very fabric of your life, your society, your loved ones and family..Shitting in the bed of which we sleep...  I guess Im guilty... Im hostile..

however not in general though. just responding to a forum conversation... ;)  

people.. lots of lovely people.. such the loveliest people ... in .. the.. World!

She was singing that to the Jane Fondas and her other lil' communist buddies.. im sure... lol
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

If you are concerned with shitting in the bed in which you sleep, just wear a diaper. why can't all just get along?
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

LOL.. good one Xort.. Maybe thats where they came up with the saying .. Red diaper doper babies..  ;)
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

great scenario, except I would rather have in my possession(nothing against the gloc) either a)2 GLOCS, b)an Auto-9(Robocop's gun), c)a Gatlin(Jesse Ventura's "Old Painless" from Predator), d)a really big CHAINSAW, or e)the Tarantino weapon of choice:Samurai sword ;D
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

Actually the weapon Jesse Ventura carried was a GE mini gun.. in 308 caliber. Of course this is a fictional movie.. the weight of that weapon would make it unweildy.. these weapons are typically crew served weapons.. or (mounted on vehicle*aircraft..etc.)
We agree though sugah.. too much security is never enough..
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

[quote author=Fred_Plowman link=board=Offtopic;num=1089685702;start=0#13 date=07/14/04 at 08:13:28]LOL.. good one Xort.. Maybe thats where they came up with the saying .. Red diaper doper babies..  ;)[/quote]

Sorry, but in my bomb shelter I don't get much pop culture. Where'd that saying come from? RDDB's?
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

i hear michael savage (political commentator, radio talk show host) say it all the time... I havent listened in awhile cause my life is busy..
 
Re: OFF TOPIC (POLITICAL JOKE)

[quote author=sugahsean469 link=board=Offtopic;num=1089685702;start=0#14 date=07/14/04 at 10:41:16]great scenario, except I would rather have in my possession(nothing against the gloc) either a)2 GLOCS, b)an Auto-9(Robocop's gun), c)a Gatlin(Jesse Ventura's "Old Painless" from Predator), d)a really big CHAINSAW, or e)the Tarantino weapon of choice:Samurai sword  ;D[/quote]
I'm quite partial to Japanese Swords myself. The most perfectly forged bladed weapon in the world.

Here is my baby. A Nobukuni Yoshimasa made around 1625. As razor sharp today as when it was made almost 375 years ago.

katana_nobukuni.jpg

30743blade2-med.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top