Objectives

[leaftors]

I'm finding it hard to put side notes on objects and unplayable objectives for my scenes.

I'm thinking that this is due to me spending so much time writing it.

Can I send my script to anyone interested and get some questions / feedback?

*edit here is the link to my script: http://www.mediafire.com/?dqe4a1ffetdadkw

 

[Drew Ott]

Some of the simplest and most powerful objectives are physical. An example might be, "Get Joey to smile." "Make Joey give you a hug."
I haven't heard of an unplayable objective as a good thing before. What do you mean by that?


The script is a little unclear. I think the main rule you're breaking is that you should only write what the audience can see. In your action you write, "Linda and Joey tire out after a session of wrestling." What does this look like? Do we watch them wrestle? If we should see the two wrestling, you need to describe it. If we shouldn't see them wrestle, then to state in the text that they've just wrestled is cheating. The audience has no way of knowing the characters have just wrestled unless you show it visually.

Another example is the action, "She hasn’t gone grocery shopping in a few weeks." How will the movie audience know this? They need to see visual evidence or hear it in dialogue.

 

[Ted Spencer]

I haven't read the script yet, but based on Drew's quotes he's right on the money. "She hasn’t gone grocery shopping in a few weeks" is a classic novel-style screenplay description error. Like Drew said, you'd need to show us the evidence of that (empty fridge, pantry etc.) or have her say (or someone say to her) something to that effect. It's discussed in almost every one of the (more nuts and bolts types of) screenwriting books I've read. The good news is it's a very easy problem to fix/avoid.