Need some help

Well hey, I read it. It's pretty good overall, seems to flow well. I was thinking maybe ryans character needs a little more flushing out so we feel something when he dies other than oh well. I also missed somthing at the end...Not sure if the sister is still alive, or dead and this is a memory or what, confusing. Maybe I missed something. Overall not a bad job at all, and could make a good short in my opinion.
 
We split the past and present with black and white and colour respectively.. so hopefully the viewer won't be confused.

We're also smoothing out some dialogue.

Never really thought about it that way - the emotional impact of Ryan's character. IMO, I think it was more of the action of killing Ryan rather than the viewer connection to his character. But never know until we make it, in which it'll be too late.

thanks for the input Mino!
 
I missed the black and white bit and would have drawn that conclusion had I seen it on screen, so good job on that note! Ryans character may just be a quirk of mine, maybe in a short Im expecting too much emotional involvement. I'm looking forward to watching this now!
 
Lloyd,

Why wouldn't this be the right forum to post this? This is exactly the right place. It says to yap about anything you want, right? People post things in here that are way out there . You're in good company and if you think you'll get more exposure, then more power to ya.
 
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