My new video

I don't mean any of this to be harsh, just constructive. :)

From a directorial point of view, it's pretty flat, and there's not much romantic motivation to the mood, the composition, or the lighting (though I posted about that elsewhere). Stark noir isn't the right mood for this; it's not supposed to be scary or suspenseful. It's supposed to be light and soft and fun.

The set doesn't speak to a romantic mood; it looks like a break room in a warehouse, not a hotel or someone's home where they'd be inviting someone over for a romantic dinner. Everything in the picture should lend to the mood, so there should be lots of flowers and romantic pictures on the wall, etc. Same is true for things as simple as the wine glass -- it should be an actual wine glass, not something you'd use for a glass of milk or Gatorade or to put a toothbrush in. I don't say that to be sarcastic, but that's what I thought the first time I saw it -- what was the last thing it was used for? Again, not very romantic.

And as an advertisement, you're trying to associate a mood with the product, so it's very important that you get the details right -- you only have a few seconds to establish the feeling you want the viewer to have, so it's got to be all spot-on, right away.

It's also not at all clear what he's giving her over the table. Again, it's an advertisement, so you need to emphasize the chocolates. Get in a shot of the box with the product name. The way you have it here, it's just a small grey blur on the screen. As a director, you need to provide the audience with all the information that's needed to get your point across. He's giving her chocolates, so make sure we know that for sure. Something like a simple insert of the box from her point of view, so we can see through her eyes what it is, would do wonders here. Plus, you spent a lot of time on other details -- a couple of close shots of pouring the wine, lighting the candles, etc., but hardly anything at all on the product you're selling. All of those other things seemed far more important than the chocolates, but the chocolates are the whole point.

Another suggestion -- get in to their faces a bit closer. Much of the point is her reaction to the romance and the chocolates, so her face especially should tell a huge part of the story. The chocolates worked -- show it in her face. And it worked big, so show it big. Something like that.
 
Just a little side note from my perspective as I think David covered a lot of ground. I find for some reason college students and young filmmakers (I'm only 26 but I'm talking novices) tend to have close ups of everything. If I guy opens a door the cut to a close up of his hand on the knob, if he lights a candle cut to the candle being lit, if they clink their glasses in a cheers there a close up of that. That creates too many cuts and it feels crowded and for me always makes it feel amateur. Don't be afraid to let things play out in the wide.

More specifically this is supposed to be romantic and lovey dovey so slow down the cuts, let things unfold, through some slow cross dissolves in there... this is editing style is more for a one night stand than a romantic date!
 
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