My documentary and feedback

H

HeyAndy

Active member
Hi,

I recently finished my short documentary and was wondering if anyone could take some time to watch it and provide some feedback on what they think? I'm looking to see what is good/bad about it and want to make improvements and/or learn from my mistakes. This is the documentary,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-33p-HtO5E

Thanks.
 
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4 min is too short to explore a serious issues like that - so i stopped watching after 1:15. 4 min are appropriate for more trivial issues otherwise it becomes obvious that you only glanced over it.
 
That wasn't a documentary. That was a guy I don't know, nor care about, stating on camera that he is looking for a job because his restaurant is closed and that he'd like to move back to Hong Kong to be with his mother.

45 seconds in and I was bored to tears.

The most interesting part was when he said he'd moved to the UK at 10yrs old. Why did his family move to the UK? What was it like being a Chinese kid growing up in the UK? Does he have a wife and/or kids of his own? If so, how do they fit into the picture? If not, why not? How did he get into the restaurant businesses? Was it a family business or did he start it from scratch? How long was the restaurant in business? What did he and his partner have a falling out? Did they have a long history of problems or did something happen suddenly? If he goes back to Hong Kong how will he make a living?

A documentary tells a story but your video is just a man on camera stating facts.
 
Okay, I'll take in these feedbacks and learn from my failure.

Thanks for the honesty.
 
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I didnt see the clip as its removed but, I'll state this. Nothing you create and then put out for feedback is ever a failure. If it doesnt hit the mark with the audience then you can take that away and learn, understanding the reasons why.

An absolute success on the path to learning.
 
Noel Evans said:
I didnt see the clip as its removed but, I'll state this. Nothing you create and then put out for feedback is ever a failure. If it doesnt hit the mark with the audience then you can take that away and learn, understanding the reasons why.

An absolute success on the path to learning.
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I deleted the video because I didn't like it.

And thank you for the statement.
 
HeyAndy said:
Okay, I'll take in these feedbacks and learn from my failure.

Thanks for the honesty.
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Thanks for putting the video up and taking the criticism in stride. It's refreshing to see someone go "Okay, that didn't work. Back to the drawing board" as opposed to arguing w/the people that offer up their opinions.
 
Noel Evans said:
I didnt see the clip as its removed but, I'll state this. Nothing you create and then put out for feedback is ever a failure. If it doesnt hit the mark with the audience then you can take that away and learn, understanding the reasons why.

An absolute success on the path to learning.
Click to expand...
Well said! I will add that if you want some in-depth guidance in making documentaries, I don't think you can go wrong by reading Michael Rabiger's book, Directing the Documentary: http://www.amazon.com/Directing-Documentary-Edition-Michael-Rabiger/dp/0240810899
I'm currently using it for a class and it's very informative on all aspects of documentary production.
 
Noel Evans said:
I didnt see the clip as its removed but, I'll state this. Nothing you create and then put out for feedback is ever a failure. If it doesnt hit the mark with the audience then you can take that away and learn, understanding the reasons why.

An absolute success on the path to learning.
Click to expand...

Wow... I didn't know people like you existed here. I second that 100%. Make a good film you like, with what you have, practice makes perfect... Just don't forget to keep practicing. Also, remember you can't please everybody...and no one is perfect, no matter how much ''experience'' they may have.
 
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I checked out this thread the other day and was sad that the negative comments led you to take down your video. I'm glad to see it's back up and I think pkw11 had some good feedback on how to make it a little more engaging from the beginning.

I have to agree that if you start the story off with 'My mother is getting older and I need to go take care of her' then I would feel more emotionally engaged from the start. (What adult can't relate to that situation?) The fact that the restaurant has shut down and it's hard to make ends meet just shows the sense of urgency - "I need to get back to Hong Kong - there's only so much time left..."

I liked your choice of music - you might be able to use it throughout the entire piece depending on what's going on and the mood.

And I think the shots you captured for B-Roll were good choices which illustrated the closing of the business (empty pots & pans & cleaning) and the quality of life living above the business in a small apartment.

I feel like you might be able to edit it down a bit more, just distilling to the essence of the story -

1) Mother needs help
2) I had a job but the business closed
3) hard to find new work
4) closing point (I'm not sure what you have in the raw footage, but maybe come back to talking about the mother here - give a sense of hope with the image of them together?)

I also agree that the lighting could be improved (next time) - maybe a little more light on the subject to pull them out of the background. Felt like there wasn't enough contrast between subject and background (despite the shallow DOF).

And the sound was acceptable but I did notice some background hum and room reverb - it wasn't too bad but might be able to do a little better with wireless lav mic or shotgun mic boomed or placed close. (not sure what you used, maybe you tried these already)

Thanks for re-posting the link, like I said it was sad to see it was missing the first time but glad to be able to see it after all.
 
Some good points. I may consider revisiting the video. If I do I will make changes according to the feedbacks.

Thanks for the feedbacks.
 
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