Most Embarrassing Moment

Kirk Gillock

Kirk Gillock

Rebel with a cause
Mine "almost" happened today.

Let me start by saying, "I've never EVER had a problem with my pant zippers." Maybe the occassional foregetfullness or Oops! but never a zipper that completely failed to do its job.

So 5 minutes before the first of three ceremonies (in which I was the host) I noticed my pants zipper was running "slightly" low. It was at about 90% capacity. Not wanting to embarrass myself or distract from the ceremony I decided to casually attempt to zip it up to 100%. Upon doing so I heard a strange zipper sound. One I never heard before. As you can imagine, any abnormal sound coming from the zipper region is not a good sound, so I looked down and saw my fly was now running at half mast. I couldn't believe this was happening. I quickly rushed to the nearest restroom for a closer look.

After a quick inspection the verdict was in. I WAS SCREWED! It was worse than I imagined. MUCH worse! The entire zipper was broken!!!! It had fallen apart and there was NO getting the zipper back to its upright position. Not even MacGyver could find away out of this jam.

Hundreds of students were waiting, the VIP guests had arrived, TV news crews were ready to record, and I was stuck in a bathroom huddled in the fetal position hoping a pair of pants (32 Waist) would drop from the sky.

Fortunately I was wearing a casual shirt so if it's untucked it doesn't look too odd. Also, it's just long enough to cover the majority of the zipper area. I left the bathroom not knowing what to do next.

While walking to the auditorium I saw an empty classroom and decided to look for a safety pin in the teachers desk. As I looked around I noticed that the classroom was actually full of sewing machines, cloth, and threads/needles. It was perfect! Now, if I knew anything about sewing, all this stuff would be VERY useful. But I don't! Once again I was slapped in the face with irony I just stood in the room laughing.

A few minutes later a group of female teachers came into the classroom and asked if I needed anything. Not knowing the word for safety pin, in Thai, and not having time to dilly-daddle, I just turned to them, pointed at my crotch, and said, "Help me! Help me please!" As they ran from the room I followed and continued to point at my crotch. Screams began to flow through-out the school. I was approaching everyone and asking them to help me.

While walking down the hallway, trying to get anyone to help me with my crotch, the PA Sytem told the students to use the emergency exits and not to speak or make eye contact with the crazy foreigner.

Ok, everything after the "Help me!" was a lie. But everything else was true. One of the teachers helped me with some thread and I was able to sew the pants enough to prevent any accidental exposing of myself to the students.

Although I had to attend the ceremonies with my shirt untucked, the day went great. I made numerous speeches and appearances, in front of thousands of students, and not once did a person point at my crotch and laugh. Which was a first!


So what's your most embarrasing moment. Keep it clean. :)

PK
 
Man, when people suggest to get rid of the butterflies in your stomach by imagining the audience naked, don't take it so seriously!

No wonder your... equipment broke the zipper! :laugh:
 
Previously posted on here long ago:

The doctor I worked for at the time always hosted a formal night out for the staff around Christmastime. This particular year, we were treated to a very nice dinner at an upscale restaurant and a stage show in the best venue in town. I was wearing a nice lowcut black dress, above the knee with long sheer sleeves and some killer stilletos. Our seats were not that great as we had to ascend many stairs to reach them (anyone know where this is going?). I brought my daughter who was about 6 or 7 yrs old at the time. The show was in the middle of the first act and I had to use the ladies room. Not wanting to make it look like I was the one having to get up and interrupt everybody, I took my daughter's hand to make it look like I had to take her instead. It was dark and there was a railing going down the center of the stair aisle. Fearing for my daughter's steps, I let her use the railing to hold onto. Two steps into my descent, I guess the powers that be decided to let me take the rest of the trip down on my belly, because I tripped. I loosed my daughter's hand and proceeded to body surf about 15 or 20 steps, arms outstretched ahead of me, knees bent and stilletos in the air. And no one got out of their seats to see if I was alive or dead, but my little girl ran down to me, surefooted I might add, grabbed my face and screamed "Mommy! Are you alright?!" Of course, I answered, "Yes, baby, but you have to be careful! You cant trip mommy like that!"

:grin:
 
My parents and I were visiting Denmark back in the late 70s, early 80s. Usually when we traveled we just rented a car and went, but this time our arrangements included a "free" bus tour of Copenhagen and the surrounding area, so we took it. One of the stops was the Summer Palace, which was usually opened for tours as this was November, but the Winter Palace was having some renovations and the Queen and family was still in residence in the Summer Palace. So, the gates were closed, the guards were guarding, and we could only see the palace from the fence. Well, I went up to the guard house and was taking pictures of the guard and of the palace through the gate when a black car drove up and stopped. A very attractive woman got out of the driver's side (an older woman was in the passenger seat) and spoke to the guard for a moment, who was standing at strict attention. (Now, keep in mind, there are no other cars around, just this one car with these two women.) This woman then turned to me and asked in beautiful English, "Are you enjoying yourself in our country?" Thinking that I am speaking to a Royal Secretary or something I rhapsodize on how wonderful I think Denmark is for a good 5 to 10 minutes with her asking me questions and me asking her questions on where to go and what else to see. After she bade me goodbye, she got back into the driver’s seat, the gate opened, and she drove up toward the Summer Palace. I walked back to the tour bus with my list of places to visit and a camera full of pictures, very pleased with my encounter. When I got back to the bus, I discovered my parents and the tour guide huddled together, with the tour guide looking a bit pale. The guide asked me if I knew who I had been speaking to … I said “no, but she sure was nice” … at which point the guide informed me, “That was our Queen”!

Luckily, I did not cause an international incident! :laugh:
 
thartley - I remember that story. Classic. :) I guess life throws us these moments to keep us humble and remind us how small we all are. I mean, come on, what are the odds that your incident would happen when you're looking your most beautiful and trying to make a grand entrance. Good stuff.

Moonwind - I've heard of running into a superstar but never royalty. That's really cool. I bet everyone was really jealous. They probably have waited all their life to talk with their Queen and you just accidentally do it on a short visit. Ha!
 
About ten years ago. My wife and I are on a summer Sunday drive through the country. We stop at one of the locks of Trent-Severn Waterway, enjoying nice weather, and the beautiful scenery.

A batch of boats enters the lock, and when the lower gate closes, the chamber starts filling up with water, and the boats start slowly rising. At this moment, I notice a lovely family on the deck of the boat right below us. A HOT HOT HOT bikini-clad woman in her early thirties, playing with two beautiful little girls. The only thing that didn't quite fit was the man: big beer belly, at least fifty years old, kind of mean-looking.

So I tell my wife (in Czech): Hey, do you think this guy's is this woman's father, or husband?

She replies (in Czech): I don't know, hard to say.

I go on (in Czech): Could be either. But if it's her husband, I sure feel sorry for her.

We kept our casual conversation for another thirty seconds or so, by which time the boats are almost at our level. The guy looks me straight into my eyes, and says (in Czech): So, where are you guys from?

I swear I produced a megaton of sweat at that very moment. I don't know if the man heard everything we had said earlier (I hope not), but if he did, he sure kept his cool.
 
Another of mine (I'm old-I've had LOTS of Embarrassing Moments :grin: ) This one deals with mistaken identity (what can I say, I'm a people person). For many years I worked for DoD companies in the scheduling department which meant I had to do some traveling and occasional presentations to some of the Big Brass. Well, on this particular trip to Colorado I had to speak to several of the upper echelon, including some that I considered a bit elderly. (Hey, at this time I was about 23 - anyone with grey in their hair looked "elderly"). Anywho, I did my thing to a room full of brass and flew back the next day. There I was at the airport when I spotted this familiar face - slightly elderly man, errect bearing, grey hair, looking very much like Brass out of uniform. BINGO - that's why he looked familiar!! So, I walked up to him, told him how much I had enjoyed the meeting and what a privilage it was to give a presentation to heros such as himself ... yada, yada, yada. He smiled and nodded and gave every impression that he knew what the hell I was talking about. Then the plane boarded - him in first class, me in coach. I sat down in my seat and the lady in the seat next to me says, "Isn't it exciting, Buddy Ebsen is on the plane!!" ..... BINGO -THAT was why he looked familiar!!!!
 
Most embarrassing moment for me...hm....

I was in school...walkin in the hall to next period...and before class ended..i was in the bathroom..and my pants ripped...i had jeans on...like the button thing was broken off..so the only thing holding my pants on were a belt and the zipper...

any ways..im walking....and i see my friend...i wanted to sneek up behind him and tackle him into a locker...but like literally 2inches before i get to him..my belt came loose and broke...and my pants fell...PLUS!! thats a +...MY BOXERS CAME DOWN WITH THE JEANS!!....then i was accidently exposed to the whole hallway. i was like..maddd scared/embarrassed...then ppl laughed.....i ran to the bathroom...on the way there...some girl winked at me....yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee boiiiiii....any ways..i get in the bathroom...and i get like 15 feet of paper towel and turned it into a belt..and that held my pants on ..but made them insecure...then i went to next class and took duct tape and taped my whole waste and crotche area...then i was fine the whole day...
next day....the girl who winked at me..gave me her number....no joke either...highschool is hard...lol
 
hahahaha...i wish it never happend to me though...i like was bout to cry in the bathroom...no one was there..so i had the option to do it...thatd be maddd funny if there was a short on it...haha
 
blckhawk542 said:
...thatd be maddd funny if there was a short on it...haha
Click to expand...

Shoot it as a short yourself! It would be madddd funny just the way you described it , especially with the girl giving you her number! Heck, write it as a spec script!
 
I might just do that Moonwind...im whippin up a screenplay and script right now as we speak...got a good title?
 
blckhawk542 said:
I might just do that Moonwind...im whippin up a screenplay and script right now as we speak...got a good title?
Click to expand...

The Brotherhood of the Falling Pants
Falling Pants,Crouching Human
Hot Pants and Duct Tape


Or make it into a Bounty commercial - STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD UP THIS YOUNG MAN'S PANTS!

Or a Duct Tape commercial - THE ALL PURPOSE TAPE ON WOOD, GLASS, PLACTIC, RUBBER .... EVEN CLOTH!
 
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