Microbudget Screenplay Critique

shutterspeedfilms

shutterspeedfilms

Well-known member
I'm considering producing a microbudget feature this summer, but the script I've written is presently not in any condition to film. First of all, I was hoping some of you could offer a second opinion as to whether I should a.) shelve the script and move on or b.) keep hammering things out. I have other projects I could be working on if this one doesn't have legs.

If b.), then I'm interested in having someone work for co-screenwriting credit to help make the script serviceable.

In essence, I need to know if the script has strong enough bones to build upon, or if the story is just one hot mess that should beat a hasty exit to the nearest bottom drawer.

(Also, what's the preferred method of sharing on this site? Attachment or PM?)

Thanks!
 
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legs=

an intriguing main character has a big problem/goal tries to solve it it gets worse he keeps fighting until it hopeless than he solves it in a surprising or ironic or bittersweet or otherwise satisfying way.

covers everything from frozen river to inception.


inception spoilers---------------------------------------------------------------

Inception: Leonardo (dream stealer guy )wants to do Inception it goes wrong they need to go deeper into dreams within dreams, might end up in limbo oh nooooo Mal shows up, the target is defended oh noooooo they didn't guess that etc etc he gives up his need for Mal , top spins maybe its all a dream who knows isnt life all just a dream who are we to say yada yada

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knowing how to judge a script is your number one job as a producer.
 
Thanks, Memento.

I feel very comfortable with my knowledge of screenplay structure and elements (as a result, I know this script ain't ready yet!). I wrote this script to produce on the local level for extremely limited funds to gain my knocks as a feature filmmaker (I've completed 3 short films on 16mm in the past). It's not to make a big splash or anything. My expectations are extremely realistic.

That said, I do expect to have the best script in hand when I start circulating the script for actors, crew, etc. I know my limitations as a writer. I can plot and structure. I am terrible at dialogue and minutia. I enjoy conceptualizing and getting it on paper. I'm not good at coloring between the lines.

My nose has been so close to script for so long, struggling to make the elements work, that I'd just like some other subjective feedback at this point.
 
Shutter, a good site for work-shopping scripts is Zoetrope. You can post it there in the screenplay section, review a few other people's scripts, and have yours reviewed. Their site is better setup to handle that kind of arrangement than a forum. But if there are people here interested in helping you, that works as well.

And Memento's definition, while true, also describes tons of movies that suck and shouldn't have been shot. To me "legs" is more about the ability for the story to stand on its on and have a minimum level of universality that will draw an audience. You can write a well-structured piece of crap that never had legs.
 
Snazzy Flapper said:
And Memento's definition, while true, also describes tons of movies that suck and shouldn't have been shot. To me "legs" is more about the ability for the story to stand on its on and have a minimum level of universality that will draw an audience.
Click to expand...

That's a good definition.

Thanks for recommending Zoetrope. I may give that a try. Anyone have any luck with SimplyScripts.com? I tried here first because I like the intimate nature of this forum. Didn't really want to send it far and wide yet.

EDIT: Tried to attach the file as a .txt, but the site said the file exceeded limits. I'm using Final Draft 5.
 
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<<<And Memento's definition, while true, also describes tons of movies that suck and shouldn't have been shot.>>>

true.

there are no rules, only tools...
 
shutterspeedfilms said:
I'm considering producing a microbudget feature this summer, but the script I've written is presently not in any condition to film. First of all, I was hoping some of you could offer a second opinion as to whether I should a.) shelve the script and move on or b.) keep hammering things out. I have other projects I could be working on if this one doesn't have legs.
Click to expand...

Don't shelve it. Others might tell you otherwise, but I highly recommend not shelving it.

If you do, it will likely die on the vine.

When you go pick it up again, you will probably have grown as a writer, and the script might make you sick. Any potential it might have had when you first drafted it won't be visible to you then, and the time spent writing it will have been wasted.

Keep working it. It might change drastically, but it will improve if you continue to hammer it out, get a co-writer, etc.

I'm referencing this from J. Michael Straczynski, a proven Hollywood screenwriter.
 
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